The Best of Me (A danisnotonfire fanfic) ✅

Part 40: Cancer

I guess you could say that waking up from a suicide attempt isn't the most desirable thing there it. My head was hurting like hell, as well as my throat. I remembered everything, from the ambulance ride, to the screaming of those who cared about me. People cared about me, and I had literally gone and swallowed a shitload of pills because of my own selfishness.

I knew I was in a hospital. I could tell from the clean, chemical smell, the constant beeping of the heart monitor and the bright white light, which was now burning through my eyelids. Carefully, I opened my eyes and blinked a couple of times. I was alone in the room, so I had time to gather myself for public display.

The one thing I had on my mind right now, was this strange dream that had occurred while I was asleep, or whatever you'd like to call it. I remember a familiar, comforting voice, calling from the shadows, whispering soothing words and sweet nothings.

"Hey Leah, it's me. I'm so sorry we ended up in this situation again. They told me the news, but I'm not sure you know them yet. They told me they wouldn't start the chemotherapy without your consent."

Chemotherapy could only mean one thing. The thing I'd feared since the day my father got the diagnose. I had cancer burning through my veins and mind. I was made of the decease and death was inevitable.

Oh, you're in my veins and I can not get you out.

If Dan's little speech were correct, I had to give my consent for them to start the therapy, but the question was if I would let them. If there was any hope I probably would, but if I was above level three it would be too late. I didn't want to spent my last days alive wasting away and sick to my bones. It would be better to let it live through it's natural course.

A sudden knock on the door ripped me out of my melancholic state.

"Miss Silverstone, I am pleased to see you awake," A nurse said as she tripped over and adjusted some of my needles and medication. "You've only been out for a day, but we have to keep you longer for observations. Do you remember anything from the accident?"

Accident my ass, it's not like I did it on purpose...

"No," I lied. It would be better this way, so I wouldn't have to answer all sorts of question like why I did it or what happened.

"Very well," She answered. The nurse had a fame smile smeared all over her heavily caked face. "I would have told you, but your boyfriend insisted on being here when I do."

"Oh," I said dumbly. The thought should have gotten me more worked up, possibly triggered a reaction, but I wasn't surprised. It was typical of Dan to want a part of whatever was going on in my life, and I couldn't exactly blame him after all the stupid shit I'd done. Speaking of the devil...

The door went up again and I turned around. Dan stood frozen in the doorway, looking like a lost and scared puppy. I couldn't help but to smile. I wanted everything to be alright, but most of all I wanted the things between us to be fine.

"Dan," I said, relief seeping through my voice. I was finally safe, because Dan was here. "Phil. Hi, Are you guys coming to collect me?"

He looked shocked for a brief minute, but I decided not to call him out on it. I faked a wider smile as he walked towards me and sat down on the edge of my bed.

"Hi love," He whispered as he gently took my cold hand between his. "How are you feeling?"

"Oh, uh, I've got a headache, but I literally just woke up," I answered as I looked down on our entwined hands. Mostly so I wouldn't have to face him as I were obviously lying about the whole thing. I had decided to act oblivious to make things better and possibly shield him from any damage. "The nurses here won't say much, so I figured maybe you can tell me why I am at a hospital?"