The Best of Me (A danisnotonfire fanfic) ✅

Part 15: Messages

(T/W)
I found myself standing in front of the mirror again. I had no recollection of how I ended up here, and no perspective on time. I was naked, except for my underwear.
You shouldn't have eaten dinner.
But I was hungry...
You didn't need the muffins.
But I wanted them.
You're too fat.
Am I?

I couldn't cut my wrists anymore, both Dan and Phil would keep an eye out for sure.
Your hips are always available, you know...

At the time it seemed like a good idea but I was now sitting on the bathroom floor, trying desperately to stop the bleeding from my hips. The bone beneath stood out pretty much, but not nearly enough.

Stop crying, you're so pathetic.
Okay. Let's get down to business.

I grabbed the blade and pinched it between my fingers. I drew it across my skin, again and again. I was numb, couldn't feel anything but anxiety and confusion. The blood were pouring out of my cuts, I didn't care though, just kept going until I could actually feel relief. When I was done I let out my breath and leaned back.
Fuckup...

After I'd cleaned it all up, erasing all the remains and evidence I crept up in my king sized bed and curled up into a ball and cried myself into nightmares and screams in the middle of the night.
How did you end up like this?

Dan's pov
A part of me screamed in protest when I turned away from Leah. Still, I felt strangely satisfied with the hug and that the fact she was blushing like crazy when I turned away.

It was 1am now and I was wide awake. I could hear Phil's light snores through the wall, and it felt like home. We'd been living together for 4 years and without him I felt lost. Phil had always been my rock since I first stumbled across his videos.

Phil couldn't comfort me now though, here I was tossing and turning. All I could think about was the beautiful girl in the apartment underneath me, and I wondered what she was up to right now. Probably sleeping like a normal person.
Actually I doubted that; Leah isn't normal at all, in a good way of course.
Speaking of the devil, in that moment my phone light up, signalising I'd gotten a new text message.

*From: BEAUTIFUL
01:24 am
Hi Dan, are you awake?*

I smiled at the humble message and wrote back a quick reply.

*To: BEAUTIFUL
01:26 am
Yeah, can't sleep. Something on your mind?*

Keep it casual and simple now, Dan. Don't fuck it up.

*From: BEAUTIFUL
01:29 am
I can't sleep either, nightmares and stuff...*

Leah had nightmares? My heart broke even further for this girl. I had my suspicion, but I'd rather for it to not be true.

*To: BEAUTIFUL
01:31 am
Want me to come down?*

Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes.
Half a minute later her answer ticked in.

*From: BEAUTIFUL
01:32 am
You'd do that?*

*To: BEAUTIFUL
01:33 am
I'll be right down, angel*

Cancel, cancel, CANCEL
*message sendt*
Oh well, hopefully it would slip her mind that I'd called her angel.

I jumped out of my bed and threw on a pair of joggers I'd previously thrown on the floor. I also wrote a quick note to Phil, told him not to worry, and left it on the counter beside on of his favourite plants.

I practically jumped up the stairs, taking two steps at the time and knocked enthusiastically on Leah's front door. I wasn't sure of what I was about to see, but something told me it's got to be bad for her to ask me over.