( Y'all don't understand how much I love Mila J 😭 She soooo fine. Mmm mmm mmm if I wasn't faithful to my 6 wives and 14 husbands I'd give her aaaallll of me. Yes lord. 😩💦 )
C h i l o m b o, J a m i l a
"Oh my god! Oh my god! Mila guess what guess what!" Efuru was spazzing on the phone.
I shook my head and waited for her to calm down. "What is it Ru?" I laughed.
"Okay okay! Soooo I went to the doctor and I'M HAVING TWINS!" She went on and on about how excited she was.
I put the toilet seat down and sat quietly. My eyes traveled to the pregnancy test I had just taken and I felt like complete shit.
My baby sister is pregnant with my boyfriend's babies, not one but two of his kids. I could be pregnant as well... My kid and her kids would share a father... They'd be half siblings and cousins... How fucking confusing.
"Mila?"
I shook my head. "Huh?"
"Um this must not be a good time. I'll um call you uh later." Before I could get another word in she hung up. I sighed and bit down on my lip. I picked up the test and felt my eyes burn.
I couldn't have his baby. I couldn't deal with the drama that would follow... I'd have to .... Get rid of the child.
I wrapped the test in tissue and placed it in the trashcan. I stood up, washed my hands and walked out of the room. I began walking down the stairs to the living room.
I should break up with Sean, make it easier on both myself and him. I could tell all this baby drama is taking a toll on our relationship and I was getting tired of it.
The front door opened and Sean walked in. "Hey baby." He greeted. He placed a kiss on my cheek and sat down on the couch. He had turned on the TV and had settled on watching ESPN Football highlights.
Should I tell him about the test? See what his opinion is of the situation? Maybe I could break up with him and then I could keep the baby and say some one night stand got me pregnant.
"Uh... Why you standing there lookin' like a -"
"Sean we need to talk.." I cut him off as he began to speak. I fumbled with my fingers and bit down on my bottom lip as I thought.
"Um... Aight bae. Wassup?" He asked, focusing his attention on me.
"I um... I think we should um break up." I was going to be as blunt as possible. I wanted to get this over with so I could recollect myself and focus on my possible family.
Sean looked at me and laughed. "Girl you funny." He leaned back on the couch and brought his attention back to the TV.
I let out a sigh of frustration. "Sean seriously!" I shouted. I had my arms crossed like a child.
"Bae, for real.. Why you feel like this all of a sudden?" Sean turned the TV off and looked at me concerned.
I took a deep breath. "Sean I.. I just feel like all this drama with Jhene is messing up our relationship. I hate feeling like I have to compete with my baby sister. I just.."
"Whoa, baby.. Nay ain't-"
"She's having your babies.. I don't want to compete with that. The baby's mother will always have a certain place in a man's life and I should have really left when I first heard about the pregnancy.."
"Why you say babies? She having one and you can have all the rest baby." Sean stood and shortened the distance between us.
"She's having twins Sean." I shook my head.
"Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit." Sean's eyes were wide as he processed what I had said. "You dead ass ma?"
"Sean that's not important right now! I'm trying to discuss our relationship." I shouted annoyed.
"Right.. Shit my bad baby. What were you saying?" He shook his head.
I smacked my lips. "Get yo shit and go." I spat at him.
"I thought you was gone be my rider baby. Why you trippin' over this little set back? Just calm down ma and we can get through this." Sean wrapped his arms around my waist. "I really love you baby. You know I don't say that shit to just anybody. I really love you." He looked me deep in my eyes.
I swallowed the sob threatening to come out. My eyes burned as the tears slowly built up. "Sean.. I'm scared. I know when Jhene has her kids you'll be in their lives and you'll neglect me and my child." I quickly covered my mouth.
"Wait... You pregnant?" Sean took a step back and looked at me closely.
"Y-yeah.." I bit my lip.
We stood there silently as Sean processed this new information.
"Do you want to keep it?" Sean finally asked.
I bit my lip and shrugged. "I-I don't know."
On one hand I want to start a family with Sean. I had grown to really love him. On the other hand this would look like a cry for attention. Jhene gets pregnant and then I do too. I wouldn't want my child to have to compete with Jhene's kids for attention and love.
"You know what baby, take your time. I'm sure we got a while to think about it before it's too late. It's your decision regardless because it's your body, so whatever you decide, I'll be okay." Sean was sincere.
I leaned my head on his shoulder and cried.
How could he be so sweet. I was ready to break up with him and hide the baby, but he didn't allow my clouded judgement to affect him. He held his ground and helped me sort my emotions.
Maybe I need to speak with Jhene and have a heart to heart with her.
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Alright guys. HAPPY NEW YEARS OMG TURN UP TURN UP
I have no plans. This day is always bittersweet so I'll probably spam y'all with updates throughout the day smh.
How y'all feeling about Sean now?
Feelings on Mila?
<3
