The Man With The Crossbow (Daryl Dixon romance)

Chapter 22

Do you ever feel so unbelievably guilty? So much that it eats you up inside.  All you want to do is make things right, but doing that could possibly get you killed.   That was us.

The pit of my stomach turned as Daryl and I sat beside each other. The night sky and the pure pressure of guiltiness covering us like a blanket.  Neither of us willing to speak, not wanting to speak for that matter.    Walker's would come near us and we'd take care of them as usual.  But we'd return to our spot next to his bike, we haven't left since deciding not to go out and look for Merle.  My heart sinking even more at the thought of him.

Going out and looking for him, at the possibility of not finding him.  Or the chance of being attacked by walkers.  The city was overrun by them, I had no clue how the group back at the camp was even able to make it out alive.  

"Want some?" 

Daryl's voice pulled me out of my thoughts, to see him offering water.

Shaking my head no, I placed my head back o my knees.  Feeling numbness fall back over me.  

"Ya need to drink some water Lex, ya haven't had anything to drink since yesterday" His voice droned on but I ignored him easily.  I could care less about water right now.

Silence fell over, I could feel Daryl's eyes on me.  Anger was practically seeping through him.

"What the hell do ya want me to do?  Get you killed in the process of TRYING to find him?  Who knows if he's even still there?!"  growling next to me.

I closed my eyes, I don't want to talk about any of this.   

"Jesus, can ya at least answer me?"

Opening my eyes slowly, I lifted my head "And what would you like me to say?  That what we're doing is right?  That it may be smart, but a completely shitty thing to do?  I told you, whatever you decide, I'm with you no matter what. "

My voice was more bitter than I intended, but I meant what I said.

I watched his his face masked itself.  His chest exhaled deeply before he stood up, placing himself in front of me.  

"We should head to C.D.C like we were plannin' or maybe Washington, somewhere. Find out why that walker scratch didn't turn ya. Or..." His voice trailed off, peaking my interest.

"Or what?" Asking softly.

"Or, we find a place.  Somewhere safe,  I'm sick of runnin' Lex.  We either fight our way to D.C and find out why you are, the way you are.  Or find us a place for us to stay until this crap ends"

My eyes left his as finished talking, I don't know how to reply to him.  He was putting the decision on me, both ideas sounded fine to me.  But I felt the same as him, I'm sick of running.  If we head to D.C all we'll be doing is running and fighting off walkers. But, then if we made it.  We could find out why I didn't turn, I might be able to end this.

Getting up to my feet slowly, I turned my head to the forest then to the highway.  Taking deep breath before meeting Daryl's eyes.

"Let's find somewhere safe, I'm tired of running.  I want us to find a place where we don't have worry about walkers so much"

Our eyes lingered on each other as he nodded his head in agreement.   His warm breath fanned over my  face, causing my cheeks to burn lightly as it sent a chill down my body.  He moved his body closer to mine, my breath hitched softly as he stared down at me.

"Let's go then"  he spoke as he sidestepped to the bike. 

"Where are we gonna go?" I asked as I got on, wrapping both arms around his torso.   His warm body sending waves of comfort over me.