A World Apart

Chapter XIV, Amelia

Oh my god.

I can't believe that I fell asleep like that. What I told Dawson was true, I don't sleep well anymore and the hatred towards me at school is really starting to weigh heavily on me. I almost told him my secret, that Amelia Katarina Holden doesn't exist, that I'm an element child, everything.

Amelia Katarina Tessera. That is my true name, mom said she picked my names on purpose. Amelia in Latin means 'striving', Katarina means in Greek 'pure' and Tessera means 'four'. My family was given that name when we first became element children, we control all 'four'. Mom wanted me to always be a hard worker and be good and kind. 

Ashlynn's name is English and means 'meadow of ash trees' and Katherine means the same as Katarina: pure. 

Mom always said our name are important. No one can know our true names, we change last names every time we move and some time we even go by different first names some times.  

The other element children are of the Fotia (fire), Nero (water), Aeras (air) and Gi (earth). I some times wonder why we haven't kept in touch with each other. I mean it would be nice to be in contact with someone who understood what we live with. Mom says it's better this way, I wish I could agree with her.

I hate all this hiding, I wish I could speak to anyone about who I really am. I want to tell Dawson. I want him to know but then I will lose him. He will see me as a monster, I will be even more alone than I was before. 

I want just once to be Amelia Katarina Tessera. I was that person until the day my father left and we had to run. Since then I have been so many different people, some times I don't even go to school. I always have the same personality. Quiet and introverted, always alone. Never making friends. The loner.

I feel so alone all the time. 

Dawson sort of jumps and wakes up, he doesn't seem embarrassed so I pretend that I'm not as well. We stand up and leave the library together, holding hands. I feel myself calming down, there is no reason for him to become suspicious. 

Ashlynn is sitting on my bed when I get home. 

"Hey Ash," I say, "What's up?" She looks nervous. I go and sit down beside her, "Is there anything you want to tell me?" I ask. Ashlynn is being weirdly quiet and I don't understand why.

I put my arm around her and start telling her about little things, books she should read, movies we should watch, stuff like that. 

When I stop talking Ashlynn tells me what's bothering her. "Amelia, a man came up to me when I was walking home from school and started talking to me as though I knew him. I didn't know what to do so I ran." I stare at her.

"Ashlynn, oh my god! I am so sorry, you should have said something right away. We can do something about this." I run over to my desk and grab my phone and type a quick text to Dawson.

Amelia: can u come over quick?
Dawson: sure, y?
Amelia: my sister had a strange man come up 2 her on the street i want u 2 draw him
Dawson: sure
Amelia: thanks
Dawson: on the way

I turn back to my sister, "Dawson is coming over and I need you to describe the man to him." Ashlynn frowns. "How will that help?" I smile. "Then we can give the picture to the police and they can find him." Ashlynn gives me a hug and her face is suddenly shinning with happiness.

"You're right, I should have told you sooner instead of worrying about it alone for so long." I smile down at her, "You know what, there may be some time after dinner for a little flying." I say. Ashlynn smiles even wider.

In a few minutes Dawson knocks on the door and he comes in. Ashlynn sits down with him and starts describing what the man looked like. When they finish I take a look at the drawing, my heart skips a beat. It is an almost exact likeness of my father.

"Ashlynn are you sure this is him?" I ask her. She nods, "It's him." I nod and then we have a long talk with mom.

I pull mom aside after we tell her everything. "Mom, the man that Ashlynn described. Look." I hold out Dawson's drawing.

"Ashton." She whispers. I grab her arm, "Mom, what do we do? If dad is involved how do we know what is the truth? He abandoned us." Mom shudders. "It repulses me that I still love him." I give her a hug. "We'll just play it by ear then." I say. Mom looks relieved.

I hug Dawson, "Thanks." I say. He grins, "If I get a hug out of it then I'd do it again." He whispers in my ear. I laugh and kiss him on the cheek. 

"I don't need an excuse." I tell him. Dawson smiles and leaves.

Tomorrow night is our date. 

School is better than usual, I only get tripped twice. That sounds so depressing. At lunch I watch the band practice across the hall from my locker while I wait for Dawson, Kriss and Alex. I watch the tenor saxophonists the closest, I've always want to learn to play the tenor sax. I've never had the chance to learn though.

Dawson and the others walk off and we head off to lunch.

An hour before or date time, I take a shower and set up a video chat with Kriss. She says this is what friends do before dates. I leave my hair wet so that it will be easier to style.

"Okay, so what are you thinking for your outfit?" Kriss asks. I hold up a few shirts and skirts, Kriss gives her opinion on them. Together we agree on a plain black camisole, under a royal blue shirt (the front is lace so the cami shows through), a black high low skirt with black leggings and ankle boots (dark brown).

Kriss has me curl my hair and put on sapphire studs. "There." She says, "You look perfect." She grins. "Dawson is going to faint when he sees you." I probably blush. 

"Well have fun," She tells me. "I will." I say and we sign off.

Then there is a knock on the door.