Inside the Minds of the Unspoken

I am Forbid

I have begun to close once again

My eyes, once open, are starting to blur

My ears, once listening, are beginning to drown

My heart, once free, has locks collecting rust

I am closing

I do not wish this

I want to stay in the open

I want to allow myself to fall

I want to allow myself be caught

But, I can't

I want to stay in the open, but I don't want to be revealed

I wish to fall, but I fear the different pain

I want someone to catch me, but I fear no one will

I know

I know that, once revealed, I can not crawl back to my world

I know that, once fallen, I will not stand back up on my two feet

I know that, once caught, I won't stand alone again

I know

I know this all and it causes me to fear

I fear and it causes me to close once again

I have gotten too close

He might find the real me

He might find my past

My gory, depressing past

My sin filled, lacking past

He might find it and then he would leave

He would leave, not me

And I can't take that

So, I am closing once again

I am leaving

I am leaving because I got too close and I can't have him hate me

I can't lose him like that

Not like that

So, I am leaving

Closing

Forbidding

I am forbidding myself from friendship

Family

Love

I am forbidding myself

I forbid it

I forbid.