Hole In My Chest - Lynn Gunn/Alexa San Roman

Chapter 4 - Change

Author's Note: So the last chapter was mega emotional, so many feels! But I hope you enjoyed it and will enjoy this chapter too. I'm so sorry I haven't updated in over a week, but I wrote this when I was supposed to be revising, shhh ;) 

This was going to be a filler chapter but I decided to extend it and put some of chapter 5 into it to make it longer. 

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It was the day after the eventful reunion with Alexa and Lynn was physically and emotionally drained. All night she had replayed the events of the crash and then flipped to last night with Alexa when she kept muttering apologies. She couldn't work out whether she truly believed Alexa's story or not and whether the apologies were sincere, only because it seemed quite extreme that one person would go to that length just for her when they were never around when she truly needed them.

Lynn decided that rather than wallowing in self pity for the rest of the day, she would get up and get her shit together seeing as she had her first lecture tomorrow and she needed to make sure she had everything ready and organised. First she went to go and get breakfast from the kitchen that she shared with 5 other people in their side of the floor. It was typical toast and jam (of the blueberry kind) as that was Lynn's favourite although she did like having other things too. afterwards she went to go and have a shower and get dressed. Seeing as she wasn't really in the best mood, she just put on a pair of black skinny jeans, a BMTH top and a black hoodie. 

After organising, and reorganising her desk, she decided to leave and grab Starbucks as there was one just off campus. She needed the caffeine after the lack of sleep. She plugged in her headphones and off she went, on her way over there she couldn't help but think about Alexa. If she was at this university just to see Lynn, wouldn't she be throwing her life away? Lynn knew Alexa wasn't the most academic and she also knew that Alexa had never wanted to continue her education. She was generally a carefree person that saw herself working in Hot Topic for the rest of her life but clearly something had changed. Lynn didn't know whether that change was for the better or not for if she had changed too much, Lynn feared she would no longer be the same person she fell in love with. 

Lynn reached Starbucks and had her order at the ready. Seeing as it was September and the weather was slightly cooler now, she opted for a tall white chocolate mocha with cream. As she waited in line for her order to be taken, she didn't notice the girl behind the till taking them. Likewise, the girl behind the till was too distracted by the other customers to realise who was in the queue until it was her turn to order. Lynn stepped forward and looked up from her phone. She wasn't ready to talk to Alexa again and she thought about leaving there and then but decided against it, she couldn't show weakness. Not here anyway.

"Um, a tall white chocolate mocha please" She said in almost a whisper.

"Would you like cream with that?" Alexa asked with a slight shake in her voice. Lynn could only nod. She handed over some cash and as their fingers brushed against each other they both felt a shock. Lynn immediately retracted her hand and looked down. Alexa passed back the receipt and with it a small piece if paper with a number on it and with the words 'take my number please, if you need anything I'm here for you'. She looked up and gave a weak smile as she moved on to wait for her order and so as to not hold up the queue. Her name was called and she took her cup, and on her way out she noticed another note on the cardboard ring around it saying 'meet me at the staff entrance at 6'. 

Lynn didn't know whether she should meet Alexa or not. She knew that they needed to talk and sooner rather than later. She thought about whether to ask Carly or Beth what they thought she should do but then she realised they'd probably both tell her to meet with Alexa as it had to be done. So she decided she would, she had no idea if it really was the right thing to do but there was only one way to find out if their relationship really could be mended or whether they would have to part ways for good.