Hole In My Chest - Lynn Gunn/Alexa San Roman

Chapter 3 - The Crash

Author's Note: So I made some slight adjustments to the previous chapter, you can go back and re read it if you want but there's nothing major, just the wording of a few lines a couple of additional sentences.

Also, writing in 3rd person is harder than it seems. the only reason I decided on a peripheral narrator rather than 1st person is because allows me to write in a way where you can see the different characters inner emotions at the same time rather then having  to switch points of view (if that makes sense?!).

Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter, please comment and vote. Thanks =^.^= 

Warning: This gets seriously emotional!

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"Lynn?" Alexa asked, "Are you in there?". Of course she knew she was, she had been sat outside leaning against the door of Lynn's room for half an hour after following her out of the common room, but she daren't say anything because she could hear the muffled sobs coming from behind the locked door. "Look, I know you are and you can't stay in there forever." She sighed. "Can you please come out? I really need to talk to you, WE need to talk to each other!" She stressed. 

"Just leave, she clearly doesn't want to talk to you, or else she'd be out here!" A voice said from behind Alexa. She turned around to see Carly leaning against a wall with her arms folded in a disapproving way. 

"Your right, its not right for me to be here." Alexa replied with a little sadness. But just as she had given up hope, the sound of a door unlocking was heard and out stepped a very stuffy, red nosed and red eyed Lynn. Carly's immediate reaction was to step in between them.

"Carly, its okay." Lynn reassured her with a squeak. She cleared her throat before continuing. "Alexa's right, we do need to talk and I need some answers!" She said with a bold yet shaky voice. Carly nodded and sent Alexa a glare before turning to go, but just before she did she said "If you need me, call me straight away, no hesitation! Got it?" Lynn nodded and with Carly satisfied she left to tell the concerned others that for the moment Lynn was okay. 

"Sooo..." Lynn breathed after a moment of silence. There was silence still until Alexa spoke. 

"I owe you an explanation" she said.

And that was it, Lynn was suddenly full of rage. "You think? Have you any idea the sort of crap that has been coming out of my brain with possible reason as to why and how you could have ever done that to me. First it was the constant going out every night, not wanting to meet up or even just hang out with your own girlfriend. I was so paranoid that something was going on and when I confronted you, you told me that you were just doing work and that it was all fine. I accepted it, but then weeks went by and you barely looked at me. I waited and waited for the day it would go back to how it was before the car crash but it never did. And then after arriving at a party that I wanted to go to with you but you said you were too busy, I find you upstairs having sex with fucking Daniel. I couldn't bear it. We went through so much together and when I needed your support you neglected me. I was emotionally broken, I still am! For two 18 year olds to be involved in an accident like that and come out with no major injuries was a miracle but just knowing that we had killed the man in the other car left me numb, and when you cheated on me, that when my heart broke and shattered into a million pieces. Then that was it. I left!" 

By this point Lynn was a hysterical wreck. Alexa moved to comfort her ex girlfriend but it did nothing. "Don't fucking touch me." Lynn screamed at her as she sank to the floor with her face buried in her hands. Alexa was now sobbing too listening to the torture she had put the girl through, mumbling apologies and begging for forgiveness. Alexa should have known better than to allow Lynn to get to a state like this, she knew from the moment they started dating both aged 17 that Lynn was an emotional person that didn't deal well with tragedies, and yet she neglected her all for her own selfishness. 

She felt guilty and responsible, especially as she was the one who forced Lynn to drive under the influence of alcohol. After that accident neither of them were charged, they were just let off with warnings as the family felt sorry for the pair though they didn't deserve pity. And things were never the same again, and as for the cheating, and with a guy nonetheless, Alexa had been under the influence of drugs as she needed to get her mind off the past few months. It was no excuse by any means and she regretted doing it as soon as the door flung open and she saw Lynn standing there with tears pooling in her eye. But she never found the courage to apologise to Lynn, she couldn't even show her face to her she was that ashamed. And that was the last they saw of each other till today.

All this happened in Arizona, and not long after the party Lynn moved to California with her parents without a word of goodbye, she didn't think her heart could take something so final. And that was why Lynn went travelling for a few months before coming to university. No matter how hard it was she just had to try and continue with her life. The one thing none of this explained however was how Alexa came to be in California.

"How are you here?" Lynn managed to croak out. She desperately needed to know!

"I...I spoke to Ansley. She told me you told her not to tell her where you'd gone but I begged and pleaded with her until she finally gave in. Please don't be mad at her it's all my fault! She only told me the state however, she refused to tell me exactly but I told her that was enough. And then I went up and down the state looking for any sign of you but it was impossible. But then I remembered you saying that you wished to go to university, and so I searched all those with a music course to narrow it down and then rang them all up. I won't tell you how I found out the exact university because you'll probably murder me! But I knew that I just had to see you, to make sure you were okay, and most importantly to apologise. I'm afraid I can't do much else". Lynn just nodded in acceptance whilst trying to process the new information. There was another silence between them when a cough was heard from behind. 

They both looked up to see Carly and Beth standing there. "Well I guess I should leave you for a bit" Alexa said before standing up leaving Lynn still on the floor. There was another pause before she said "I want to make it up to you Lynn, I really do. I was the shittiest girlfriend you could ever have had and I know that and despite my behaviour towards you I still to have feelings for you" and with that she turned and left. Lynn hated to admit it but she still had feelings towards Alexa too!