Cuffed by Will

XVII. Mend And Repair

Monday, 14th May. Day 14.

The sound of groaning woke me up. When I opened my eyes, everything came flooding back. Ezra drank so that meant...

Ezra groaned. "Clara, bathroom..." I jumped up and helped him to the bathroom. About 10 minutes after continuous heaving, Ezra felt better and following his orders, I helped him walk to our bedroom. I did notice someone cleaned up the mess in Marvin's room and made a mental note to ask about the photographs and get them framed again.

In our bathroom, Ezra brushed his teeth and I waited patiently beside him.

"I need a shower," he stated and I nodded. We got the cuffs off and he took that much needed shower. The clock on the bedside table read 4:08am and I couldn't believe we slept an entire day. Man, was I hungry. After Ezra showered and got a change of clothes, we went back to bed.

"Clara?" He called out in the dark.

"Yes, Ezra?"

"I want to visit my dad's grave in the morning." He said softly.

"Okay, Ezra." I said, smiling at his request and felt him drift off to sleep. Yes, things were only going to be better from now on and I looked forward to it.

***

"Would you like some alone time?" I asked and he nodded silently. I smiled and texted David for the timeout. I took the cuffs with me before walking away. From my point of view, I could see Ezra kneel down and place one bouquet of sunflowers on his dad's grave and one on his mom's. I waited for him to have that much needed talk with his parents while I went to have one with my own.

"Hey mum, hey dad." I touched their grave stones and placed the bouquets of white lilies on their graves. "Been a long time, huh?" Tears immediately filled my eyes and I hated myself for being so weak. "So much has happened and I just... lost track of time." I sighed and sat down at the end of their graves. "All this time, I complained why Marvin did what he did but I forgot he's a smart guy and he raised a really good son." I looked at Ezra who was sitting down too.

"I'm sure you'd approve of him, dad, he's a good person at heart." I took a deep breath and looked at my mum's gravestone and spoke as the tears fell. "I'm sorry, mum. You taught me to be a good person and I remember you telling me not to judge a person just by their weaknesses and I hate to admit it but I did just that." I sucked in a breath and continued, "I just saw the bad things and it justified my judgement of Ezra when I didn't even bother finding a reason, an explanation or even the good bits about him."

"I'm scared, mum. I don't know where this is going or what to do. I feel like it's beyond my control and that scares me. I'm worried about the future, about what's going to happen once this month is up. I don't want to give my heart to get it broken, mum. And why would he accept it? In a way, he's right, I did take his father from him. I should have tried bringing them closer but I wanted to fill the hole in my heart and I just..." I squeezed my eyes shut and tried getting a hold of myself. "I screwed up, really bad. And I can't help but think I deserve this. What am I supposed to do now, mum? I'm lost... I just don't know what to do anymore."

I saw Ezra stand up and I quickly wiped away the tears. "I have to go now, but I promise to visit soon. I just hope you can send me a sign. Something to help me decide what to do." I stood up and tried a smile. "Bye mum, bye dad, I love you both." I touched their stones and sent some prayers before meeting Ezra at the gate.

"You've been crying," he said and scrunched up his eyebrows.

"I'm fine, I just haven't visited in a long time so..." I kicked an invisible pebble and put my hands in my pockets.