Nola Love

The Letter

Ciara POV

It's been a few days since me and August had sex and it's been so awkward. I'm not gonna lie it was so amazing,I can see why his little groupies are so crazy over him. That can't happen again though. I was doing some Christmas shopping,trying to stay as warm as possible. The sun was starting to set and I was not fixin to get caught in the brisk cold,I pay for the presents and place the bags in the backseat. I get in and decide to stop to get something to eat for me and August,try to ease the awkwardness a little. I get us Chinese food and while I'm walking back to my car I feel a tap on my shoulder,I turn around and see my mom standing there.

"Hi Ciara" She smiles

"Hi" I say softly

I take a good look at her,she looks surprisingly stable for a drug addict.

"How've you been?" She asks

"I don't know" I say dryly

"I'm sure you're a strong person,you'll get through it" She says

"I wanted to know if I could borrow some money,I need it badly" She says

"For what?" I ask

"I'm a mess,I'm gonna go to a rehabilitation center" She says

I look in her eyes and could tell she was lying,I shake my head and clench my jaw.

"You know that's free right? I know what you're gonna do with the money,just like the other 2 times I gave it to you all you did was use it for drugs,I'm not giving it to you" I say

"Princess I'm serious this time" She says

"Don't you dare call me that,you're the last person who needs to give me a nickname" I spat

"I'm still your mother and you will not talk to me like that" She says sternly

"But where the fuck were you when I needed you? When dad passed away and all my friends left where were you at?! When were you ever anywhere to be found?! I try so hard not to hate you but all you do is talk to me if you need money,that's it! And I'm tired of it" I cry

"The next time you feel the need to talk to me and if it's for money don't bother" I say

I get in the car and speed off,when I get home I slam the door shut and go in the kitchen. I place my keys and the food on the table. August comes in and stands in the doorway.

"What happened?" He asks

"Nothing" I mumble while wiping my tears

I give him his food and attempt to move past him but he blocks the doorway more.

"I know it's something" He says

"August please,I just wanna go upstairs" I say

He sighs and moves out the doorway,I go upstairs to my room and close the door. I ball up my fists and lay on the bed,I bury my head under the covers and let the tears fall again. Ugh fuck her! I don't know what I did to deserve this. Soon I go into a deep sleep and my mind becomes at ease. When I wake up I check the time to see it's 8 o'clock,only 4 hours passed,felt like more. I feel something on my stomach and I look down to see August's tattooed arm. I look over to see that he's sleep too,I've always liked how's he protective and concerned no madda what was happening. I get out of the bed,being careful not to wake him and go downstairs. I open the fridge to see he put my food away for me,I grab a bottle of water and lean against the fridge. I think about what happened with my mom and my mind slowly starts to shut down. It's really hurtful how she only comes to me if she wants money for drugs and lies to me just to get it. I sigh and decide to write her a letter,I know where she's staying at so this should be easy. I take a sip of the water and grab a pen and notebook.

"I think about you a lot,I can still hear your laugh when I'm in the house,I can still see your smile,it's what gets me through my hard days. But your words was suppose to get me through my heartache, before my heartbreak. There's an emptiness that only few ever feel,and I somehow missed the meaning of love that is real from you,and it compliments my scars that will never heal. And if you weren't gonna guide me,why bring me into the light? I Must have done something to make you want to run and hide. Why didn't you just live your life? And every girl needs a mother and I needed you,instead you just upped and left and you ran. Maybe I didn't deserve you and I couldn't cure your addiction. They told me that I didn't hurt you but still I feel like I turned you into who you are. I don't understand it,is this how you planned it? But maybe I'm too much to manage. The longest I've ever been around you was for 3 days and you're my mother,that really hurts me. All you do is disappear then pop up and ask me and Victor for stuff. I needed you more than ever these last 4 years but I guess things happen for a reason. We still love you but if you hate us and didn't wanna have us in the first place that's fine,but why did we have to suffer from it too? Have a nice life.

~Ciara"

I rip the page out the book and fold it up before putting it in the envelope. I write the address on it and put the stamp on. I close my eyes and breathe heavily,this is too much for one day.

A/N: Ciara mom just don't care huh? Smh :( Even though it was awkward August still came through on his best friend shit! Lol