Cupid's Perfect Choice

15. Faithful

Absently nodding to what the woman in front of me is advising me to do to Danny if he ever pisses me off, I fake a smile and thank her, before moving on to the next couple of guests.

After knowing that Danny is closer to Jack than I would have imagined, I just excused myself saying that I needed to play hostess so I could buy myself some time to stomach all that is happening.

True, I don't have the right mind at the moment to listen carefully to what everyone has to say but I kept a smile on my face and answered the congratulations with the basics: "Thank you so much", "I appreciate it, thanks" and "Please enjoy your time". The advises from almost all married-and-divorced people were not a very different story. I still kept the responses down to "Thanks for the tip, I appreciate it", "I'll try my best" and "Will do."

Some may think I'm rude but I'm sure they'd understand that I'm a little overwhelmed even if they don't know the real reason behind it.

My mind is in a whole different world right now. A world where Jack hasn't been so-- I don't even know the right word. Let's just say, has been better at his job. A world where everything is just normal; Cupid finds his targets, shoots his arrows and sits back watching with a smile on his face. A world where I don't know cupids exist. A world where this whole thing is just a lot easier. Where there are no deals, no fake engagements, no marriage agreements, and mostly no divorces after such a short period of time. An alternate universe where I would just meet Danny and fall in love, normally, simply and happily.

Because, well, had Jack been better at his job, and never showed up in my dream, I still would have gone to Starbucks and pumped into Danny and gotten fired. Everything would have been the same eventually, maybe with just a little twist in memories. Things might have been slightly different, granted, but so would have been my love for him. I would've loved Danny under different circumstances. I would've taken my time loving him and making sure he loves me back. I wouldn't have had to get married and divorced at twenty three. I wouldn't have had to fall in love and fight against it every second of everyday, and I wouldn't have had to walk away from that love. Things would've been better. Simpler.

Am I such a bad person to think like that?

I think so. Because If that was it, then there would've been no Jack at all.

No wait, he's still somewhat related to Danny --not by blood, but he's Danny's sister's best friend's fiancé-- so one way or another I'm sure we would have met and just clicked and become friends anyway. Right?

God, this is so frustratingly confusing! I feel like I'm losing my mind with all the what-Ifs.

The thought of not having Jack as my cupid and my best and almost only friend is depressing. Yet, the thought of everything having gone in a different, much easier way is heart-breaking. And I feel guilty at the small part of me that blames Jack for it.

I shouldn't blame him. This isn't his fault. He wanted to get married to Sarah since forever and finding Danny was the only thing stopping him. It's only believable that he'd done everything he could to find him.

And it's not his fault things turned out like that. It's not his fault Danny's family were planning a sudden visit, or Danny coming up with the girlfriend idea. It's not his fault Danny decided to propose not even twenty-four hours later. And it's definitely and certainly not his fault that I'm falling for Danny. I am falling for him. For real.

But then whose fault is it? Why am I having such a hard time loving a man to only walk away from him? Why do I have such a heartbreaking luck in love?

Honestly, I've just come to believe that it's no one's fault. It's just how it is. Some would call it luck, some would call it fate, some destiny, some even God's will, but in my book, it's just how things have to be. It's how my story has to go on. And I shouldn't sit by and sulk my time through it. If six months are all I'm ever gonna get with Danny, then fuck it. I'll suck it up and enjoy the damn ride while it lasts.