Sindak

KABANATA 1

"Hindi mo ba nagustuhan?" Malumanay na tanong sa akin ni Anna; ang aking mapapangasawa.

Ang bahay na tinitingnan namin ang tinutukoy n'ya. Kasalukuyan kasi kaming naghahanap ng matutuluyan matapos ang nakatakda naming pagpapakasal, isang buwan simula ngayon.

"H-ha? G-gusto ko." Sagot ko. "G-gusto ko." Pasikretong inalog ko ang aking ulo.

Nagliliwaliw na naman ang diwa ko. Ganito na ako simula ng maitakda namin ang aming pagpapakasal. Dalawang buwan na rin ang nakalilipas simula nang maitakda ito. Dalawang buwan na rin akong hindi matahimik. Gano'n na rin katagal na hindi ako nakakatulog nang maayos sa gabi.

Ang resulta? Parati akong inaantok sa araw. Hindi ko na rin tuloy magampanan nang maayos ang kahit anong ginagawa ko sa buong maghapon.

***

"I don't get it, Jeff." Sabi sa akin ng matalik kong kaibigan, "Hindi ka pa pala sigurado sa kan'ya, bakit ka magpapakasal?"

Sinulyapan ko muna ito bago ko muling ibinaling ang aking atensyon sa tina-type ko sa laptop ko. We are currently in a coffee shop, where I regularly hang out to write or do my editing work.

Copyright ⓒ DyslexicParanoia (Angela Atienza), 2014, All rights reserved.

I usually come here alone to escape the suffocating confines of the office, where I toil as an Editor. I'm the head of the Editorial for almost three years now; I work in a Publishing company. At dahil alam na ng bestfriend ko na 'yun ang tambayan ko kapag gusto kong mapag-isa, do'n na rin n'ya ako madalas pinupuntahan para makipagk'wentuhan during his lunch hour.

"It's complicated." Walang gana kong sagot; nakatutok pa rin ang aking mga mata sa aking ginagawa.

"Hindi ba mas magiging complicated 'yan kapag hindi mo inagapan? Akala ko ba you were supposed to break it off with her? Nag-abroad lang ako ng ilang linggo, nagbago na ang isip mo?"

"I already told you why."

"Are you kidding me?! Magpapatali ka dahil lang sa takot na magpapagamatay s'ya?!"

"You don't know her. She will when she say she will, lalo na sa sitwasyon n'ya ngayon."

"So magpapatali ka na lang sa siraulong mong--"

"She's not crazy. She's only depressed dahil sa sunod-sunod na trahedyang nangyari sa kanilang pamilya. She needs me."

"Now, I see what's going on here." Nakangisi s'ya.

"What?"

"You've been bewitched."

Itinigil ko ang aking pagta-type bago ko ito tiningnan nang matalim. "Are you on drugs?!"

"Bakit? Hindi ka pa ba kumbinsido na may lahing mangkukulam ang pamilya n'yang nobya mo? Baka nga kaya kung anu-anong nangyayari sa kanila dahil sa sumpa o karm-"

"Withcraft? Curses? Are you trying to start these crappy topics with me again? If you're only trying to convince me to get your horror novels published under my banner, forget it dude." Nginisian ko s'ya. "I have more than enough writers to fill the brand. I have enough of their crap to handle." Tumawa s'ya; seryoso naman ako. He's my very best friend, and I know for a fact that he's a terrible writer. I don't really want to hurt his feelings kaya sinasabi ko na lang sa kan'ya na I'm not searching. He's one of those aspiring writers na gustong ma-publish, pero hindi naman open sa literary criticisms. So he left me with no better choice but find ways to keep him out of my business. "How's your novel going, by the way?" I almost sound sincere.

Sumimangot ito. "I'm halfway done. I just need to do more research."

"More research on what?"

"The life of the main character of my story."

Tatawa-tawang nagpatuloy ako sa pagta-type. "You're writing fiction novels, John. Why don't you just try to be more creative? Make things up, just like how you did to freak me out with your made up ghost stories while we're growing up!"

Sure, that's a criticism. I guess, I just can't help but be who I am. Most especially if I we're talking about something within the range of my line of work.

Natahimik siya. Muli ko siyang tiningnan. Nakasimangot ito.

"I didn't make them up, Jeff, they're all true."

"The dark woman you saw near the acacia tree at our backyard? And the white lady you saw in my room?" I gave him a skeptic's gaze. "C'mon..." I went back to my typing.

"Your cynicism will not change the fact that they exist."

"All things can exists in our imagination, John." Tinaasan ko s'ya ng kilay, " Ano ba 'yang isinusulat mo, biography? A memoire? Hindi naman 'di ba? So why do you have to be that anal about the facts?"

"I want my story to be more realistic."

I gave him a nettling look, "A realistic ghost story? Is there even such a thing?"

"How can you be so demeaning and discriminating about this genre? If you don't believe in what we write? Why do you even bother publish what your horror writers wrote?"

"It's all about business, Man!" Bumalik ako sa pagsusulat. "And besides, they're all branded as fiction series. We don't publish that so-called true ghosts shenanigans. Thank God my boss is not up to it though." Kinatok ko ang kahoy na lamesa, "If he is, I don't know what I'm gunna do, Man! It's just not my cup of tea."

***

"I want to start up a new brand, Jeff." Bungad ng boss ko sa akin during our meeting. He's the Publisher and owner of the Publishing company I work for.

Kinabahan ako. Hindi ko alam kung bakit.

"What brand, Sir?"

"I heard patok pa rin talaga 'yung compilations ng mga true love confessions and horror stories."

Love confessions? Sure.

Horror stories? Yuck!

"I-I thought you're not up to that kind of stuff, Sir? I-thought you said you don't want to have anything to do with true horr--"

"I changed my mind. We have to be competitive, you know. Unahin na natin ang compilation ng true horror and paranormal stories. Let's brainstorm about the title of the series. Any suggestions?"

Can I hang myself now?

"I-I don't have any suggestions at this point, Sir. But, if you'll ask me, I-I just want to keep what we have right now. We have the best and most popular horror fiction writers in our line-up. I'm pretty sure they can deliv--"

"Sure, we'll keep them. But, I want something new, Jeff. I want something fresh! I want something raw and realistic that could sell like pancakes in bookstores and newsstands."

"Newsstands? Are we leaning towards the cheaper brands? I thought you want to maintain our profound image in the Publishing world? I thought you're not up to those kind of--"

"Our sales are down that I am up to anything that sells at this point, Jeff. I maybe a Publisher who wants to maintain a certain image, but I am also a businessman. I can't afford to stop finding ways to get more return for my investments. I can't afford to keep on paying regular overheads without enough sales to boot."

"A-and you're betting on affordable booklets that won't give us the return as the regular books does?"

"Affordable products with higher sales turnover, why not?!"

Crap. I think I want to throw up.

"So..." Pagpapatuloy n'ya, "I want you to form a team that'll make this project possible. And I want you to think of a name that will stand out. 'Yung tipo bang kapag nakita pa lang ng mga tao ang pangalan ng brand, they'll be thrilled and enthralled to buy it. And because they are inexpensive, they can always include that in their regular budget. If we can make this available in every corner, in every newsstands, in every store, kahit na sa mga sari-sari stores, the better."

Oh. My. God.

I think my boss have really lost his freaking mind!

[Itutuloy]