This Is My Story

|| An Essay About Love ||

C H A P T E R   T W E N T Y - S E V E N
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Sometimes, there are days that are harder than the others.

Today is one of those days.

He is leaving today.

I stare at the dirty white ceiling of my room, my fingers laced around the chain around my neck, occasionally brushing against the ring.

I feel so lost, so empty. A year away from now, I was at the exact same place, doing the exact same thing, but everything is just so different now. It is still the same room, the same season, the same atmosphere, but I am a complete different person than who I once was before.

I hear my phone ringing next to my ear and vibrate every two or three minutes, but I do not bother answering. I know who the callers are and I know what the calls are about.

Logan.

I already made up my mind. I will not be going, it is the best for the both of us.

I think that deep inside, he has already anticipated my absence. He knew I wouldn't something so stupid.

Ironically, today is also the day where I'll receive my bachelor degree. Today is the end of something magic but also the start of something wonderful, yet I do not feel anything.

This journey with him hasn't been easy. I cried a lot and had my ups and down, but I do not regret one single second of it. After all, I could say that I lived without any regrets.

Any but one.

My father's funeral was a week ago and that was also the last time I saw him. He came into a suit and brought flowers, which I knew, wasn't for my father but for me. We hugged for a very long time and didn't utter a word.

He was feeling the same pain as mine, he was as destroyed as I am.

I still hear his voice, feel his lips pressed to my ear as he said:

Against all odds.

And then he left. For good. I wander around my house, then sit in front of the water tank in the middle of my small living room.

Skye is sleeping and Atticus is swimming around. I wonder if this is a sign, a representation of us.

I guess that I decided to let him leave because I have this cheesy and unrealistic thought that the people surrounding you can wander as far as they want and will still come back to you if both of you are meant to be. It is a stupid reason, I am aware.

The doorbell suddenly rings and I wonder for a moment if I should go open. I know it's not him but for a second, my heart still has this crazy instant of hope. I bite my lower lip and get up to answer the door, my hands slightly shaking.

I open the door to reveal Graham behind it.

He looks down at me and step into the house. He's holding two pieces of paper and looks exhausted.

"Hey." He murmurs.

I do not answer because I know he'll hear the disappointment in my voice. The fact that Graham is in front of me only means that Logan is now gone. I can't do much to bring him back anymore. I bite harder on my lips and avoid my friend's gaze.

He looks around, but his eyes quickly come back to me.

"I won't be here for long." He says, uneasy. "In fact... I am supposed to give you this."