The Underground Idol

Reality

He drives me home, and once we're outside he gets off and runs around the car to open my door, it's strange for me to adjust to this Zico but I think he's just trying hard to make it up to me for what happened. I realize once we're at my door that he want's me to invite him inside but I know that if I see him in my house where he'd stayed over many times that I'd just ask him to stay and not leave.

I've missed sharing my bed with him, having his arms wrapped around me as I slept, I missed it so much that seeing him standing there not sure what to do or say, hurt. "Let's talk out here." I finally say.

He sticks his hands inside his pockets and stare's at the ground not wanting to look me in the eyes. I cross my arms over my chest and gaze at Zico, his brown hair parts down the middle and gets caught in his eye lashes, his tattoos are exposed through the opening of his shirt, and all the while he's avoiding eye contact with me.

"What did you want to say?" I begin.

He's quiet, concentrating really hard at whatever he's staring at. "I just wanted to see you..." His words cause my heart to flutter, but I control my emotions and just concentrate on what he needs to say. "I missed you a lot."

I don't let what he says affect me so easily. My silence is enough to let him know that it's gonna take way more than this to really get me to understand why he had to do what he did with Hyuna. "I know what I did hurt you, but I can swear nothing else happened."

I glare at him, wanting to believe what he's saying but I'm afraid the damage is done. No words could fix the hole in my chest that he caused, because I knew that no matter what Zico would always hold a place for Hyuna in his heart, a place that not even I could heal. "I'm sorry." His voice sounded sad.

I took a deep breath trying to ease the pain in my chest, but seeing him now, seeing us like this made it all the more sad. I wish I could easily accept his words and run back into his arms, and I wondered why didn't I do that, but Jay's pained expression would flash before my eyes and I'd stop myself from doing just that. I knew that if I ran back to Zico now and if he hurt me again that this time I wouldn't have the strength to try to live my life without him.

"Come back to me?" His offer was tempting, he slowly raised his hand. "I'll make it up to you, I promise." He sounded desperate.

I bite down on my bottom lip, his words make my eyes water and I have to blink a few times to see clearly. He's waiting for an answer with his hand held out to me, and I know once I take it I'll be back to being in a world full of haze and adventure. A world that without him wouldn't exist. "Zico." I begin. I suck in a deep breath, shaking my head back and forth.

His eyes widen, "I don't want to be with you knowing you love someone else." He stares back shocked, this wasn't what he was expecting. "I can't be with you knowing that if Hyuna shows up again you'll just go back to her."

He shakes his head back and forth. " I don't love her-"

"But you can't forget her." I say cutting him off. "I loved you, with all that I had, but you loved me with all that was left, and that isn't fair." The pain in my voice was slowly escalating to anger. At this rate I'd just start shouting at him.

"Give me a second chance?" He begs.

My eyes stare back at him, cold. "As long as she's still in the picture, there will never be an us. " My voice grew faint as I realized what I had just said.

Zico shook his head, not believing what left my lips, but the words hung in the air and the only thing keeping me together right now was the fact that Hyuna's scent was lingering off him. Pain flickered across his face, followed by confusion and then finally acknowledgment. "I'll make you love me again." He vows.

He closes the gap between us before I have time to react and pulls me into his arms, planting a kiss on the crown of my head. I don't hug him back and just let him hold me a few seconds longer before he pulls away, our faces are close to one another, his lips almost touching my own. I have to suck in a breath to move back, the door pressing against me.

He watches me for a few more seconds before leaving. I stare at his back watching his silhouette until it's swallowed by the darkness and I stumble into my house shutting the door. My legs give out on me and I collapse onto the floor.

What just happened?

I wanted to kiss him, to hold him, and to forget, but my heart wouldn't let me, it just kept reminded me over and over what he did and how he hurt me.

I began to wonder if I'd ever forget, because at this rate I would ended up hating Zico forever rather than loving him.

And then us really would never cease to exist again.