The Underground Idol

Abandoned

"Zico." I pause taking a short breath. "It's me again, how you doing?" It takes all my strength not to break down and cry as I leave the voice mail. "Please call me when your feeling better." I stumble on the last part before hanging up. Clutching the phone in my hand I let out a much needed sigh that helps keep me together, for now.

It's been almost three days since I last saw him, three days since we last spoke, since I left him bleeding in pain, and since then everything has gone to hell. Three days ago everyone had decided to turn there back on Zico. By putting all the blame on him everyone as far as I knew suddenly decided to point all there hate and anger towards him. Comments were being broadcasted on news stations how he was receiving letters with the words kill yourself printed on it.

I wondered what had it been that he did so wrong? As far as I knew he was innocent, nothing about it was his fault. How can something so small as an accident deserve such harsh treatment? I was nothing but worried, stopping by his place whenever my dad didn't need anything from me, calling him, leaving voice mails, but it was like he was MIA. I couldn't reach him no matter how hard I tried.

Zico was no longer within my reach, and some part of that both saddened and scared me. I began to wonder what it would feel like to never be in his arms, to never be around him, to never taste his lips again. But I think some part of me had always told me that things were too good for it to last. I knew from the very beginning that what we had was on impulse, and something quick. It was an adventure with passionate feelings behind it, but never were there any promises of the future.

It was true that I held Zico in my arms, but I could never grasp those inner layers within him. He never talked about love, he's told me of past love's but never did he say things about love in a present or future tense. It was as if the whole concept could never grasp him. I wondered who or what it was that made him that way.

I redialed the number but it went straight to voice mail again. Jay had told me that when he saw him that he was in really bad shape, but he also said not to worry that things would go back to normal. When Jay had come back from seeing him he told me how he was being questioned and the scene was still under investigation. I wanted to believe Jay when he had said that things would go back to normal but at this rate nothing would.

I heard a soft tap on my door and immediately sat upright and ran. I didn't even check through the peephole and just threw the door open, "Zico?!"

His eyes widen at the sight of me, clearing his throat he runs a hand through his slick black hair. "Sorry to disappoint." Jay mumbles.

My shoulders slouch and my eyes seem to sadden, he notices. "Maybe I should go." I feel awful for making him feel unwanted and shake my head.

"No, come in." I had promised him when he dropped me off that I'd invite him over for some coffee or ramen. I step back to let him walk in, as he enters I notice the bag of food he's holding and my stomach begins to growl at the sight of it.

"Guess I came at a good time." He chuckles, setting the food on the counter. He turns around eyeing me as I shut and lock the door, his arms wrapped around his chest, the white button down shirt he's wearing lifts a bit revealing parts of his abdominal's. I quickly look away and meet his eyes before he notices. "I knew you'd be alone so I decided to let you spend my free time with me." I laugh at his cockiness.

He gestures for me to come over and help him which I do. Thanks to Jay it helps me get my mind off things for a bit.

I mince the spring onion and garlic, he boils the ramen puts in the sausages and egg, he adds the spices in while I add the veggies. He cracks a few jokes which helps put me in a good mood as we cook but still the pain is there, there's no denying it. He can see it in my eyes, I seem to tear up in the moments where I'm the least bit conscious of my actions.

I look away and go back to chopping while he stirs the ramen, it grows silent.

I concentrate on anything but what I'm feeling but it's hard to do on my own, and settle on just starring at the veggies instead. "Do you ever feel like a plastic bag drifting through the wind wanting to start again?" He plays one of my favorite scenes from the movie the interview on his phone which brings a smile on my face. I glance up at him and laugh when the next scene comes on.

Jay makes me feel right at home, it was nice having someone around who was born and raised in the city of Los Angeles like me. Not to mention that his native language was the same as mine. So being around him reminded me of my old life, although there were a lot of thing's I'd like to forget.

So we watch a movie and eat food, and then it gets really late. "I have to go." He says grabbing his phone and wallet. I stand and walk over to open the door. "I'll call you, okay?" He gives me a small smile, I give him a reassuring smile and open the door. He's about to leave and as he's about to take a small step out he freezes and comes face to face with someone I can't really see.

"Zico?" Jay says in shock.