Silent Love

1. Pain

"Ma'am, the plane crash was fatal and a lot of bodies haven't even been found yet. But we are trying our best, it hasn't been confirmed that everyone is dead but we do think that no one could've survived that crash." The police officer said to my aunt.

"But what if they survived somehow?" My aunt asked in between sobs.

"Sorry ma'am but if anyone was alive, they would've been found by now. I'm sorry but you have to accept that Mr. And Mrs. White might have passed." The officer said.

My aunt kept crying as the officer comforted her.

I couldn't believe the officer. Maybe he was lying. Yeah, he was lying. My parents couldn't be dead. The officer had come to the house when me and my aunt were watching our favorite show.

He said that he had to tell her something so she sent me upstairs to bed. But I didn't go to bed instead I sat on the top of the stairs so I could listen to their conversation.

Curiosity got the best of me and it led to this. I listened on to their conversation and this is what I found out.

After a while my aunt tried to compose herself but failed.

She thanked the officer for comforting her and he gave her a small smile. A minute later the officer left and my aunt came to the stairs maybe to come to tell me about the horrible news.

She started to ascend the stairs but stopped at the fourth step when she saw me.

She came up to me and hugged me tightly. At times like these I would've said 'God woman, you're suffocating the life out of me'. And she would chuckle and let go, but this wasn't like other times.

"I'm sorry." She whispered in my ear and a second later I felt tears flowing down my face. I hugged her back and we both sat there crying harder by the minute.

That one 'I'm sorry' was enough to crumble my world because at that moment I knew that my parents would never come back. That was enough to make my heart clench and my breath slow down. It was enough to make me cry harder into my aunt's neck.

We both cried letting the tears flow. Hoping that the tears would wash away the sorrow we felt with them.

But they didn't.

••••••••••••••••••••

After a week of getting the news about my parents, I went to school.

I entered the school building and got to my locker.

And as usual Kyle, hugged me from behind. At times like these I would say to Kyle, 'don't touch me or I'll get your straight disease' and we would laugh all the way to class, but this time I remained quiet. Kyle must have noticed this so he turned me around making me face him.

Kyle, my best friend since childhood. We became close friends when my dad and his dad became business partners.

We were always so close that we looked like two people attached to the hip.

Kyle was attractive no doubt, but I wasn't attracted to him instead I only found girls attractive. He knew this and yet he still accepted me. I was an out and proud kind of person.

Everyone knew even my parents. I still remembered the time when I came out to them and my father was like 'I'm gonna teach you all the moves that girls will love.' While my mom said that now she'll have a daughter in law that she knew she would never have.

"What's wrong, Hay?" Kyle asked me bringing me out of my thoughts. I looked at him with emptiness. He looked really worried and I felt nothing.

He had his hands on my shoulder maybe keeping me in place and his eyes fixated on only me.

I gently shrugged his hands off my shoulders and started walking towards my class.

I walked away leaving my best friend behind.

He was the first of many that I had locked out.

••••••••••••••••

"Why don't you go out to a party tonight? Maybe have some fun with people your own age." My aunt said while coming to sit on my bed beside me.

I kept reading my book and she sighed.

"You can't just shut everything out Hayden. There are still people here for you. I'm here, Kyle's here. That poor boy still comes to pick you up for school even though you leave early." She started ranting and I didn't pay her mind.

After finishing her rant, she just sighed again and left my room.

What did she expect from me?

•••••••••••••••••••

It had been 4 months now since my parents passed away. Summer was about to begin and that only meant one thing.

Summer holidays, that I so much dread. Aunt Carrie tried to force me to go to every party that anybody was throwing.

She kept trying to convince me to go to some stupid parties that I didn't want to attend.

So, I declined and spent my whole summer reading books in my room.

As they say 'a book a day keeps reality away.'

During summer, two police officers came to our house. They told us that they had found my parent's bodies.

My aunt asked if she could see them for the last time to which they declined.

"They're bodies are not in the condition to be seen." They said.

And aunt Carrie just hugged me tight and let all the tears out. I soothed her back with a sigh. I didn't cry this time.

I couldn't cry this time.

The police officers had left and my aunt was still hugging me and crying. After a while her breath evened and she fell asleep.

I had to carry her to her room.

I laid her on her bed and that was the first time I had noticed her beauty. She was beautiful and much too young to be an aunt of a teenager.

She was 27 and she had a life ahead of her yet she let it go just to take care of me.

I sighed and covered her with the comforter and went to my room.

••••••••••••••••••••

School had started yet again and Kyle stopped coming to my house to pick me up.

We saw each other at school a lot due to having the same classes yet we didn't speak to each other.

He was in the popular crowd while I was the social outcast.

I was bullied and sometimes the people bullying me were his new-found friends. He didn't bully me but he didn't stop it either. He had in his eyes the same thing I had in, mine when I shut everything out.

Emptiness.

Maybe I was mistaken or maybe it was there.

I didn't know.

He kept his distance from me and he stopped being my friend.

And whose fault was that? Mine.

I deserved it, to be simple. I deserved the loneliness. I deserved his hatred. I turned away from him.

I turned away from my best friend. I hurt him for no good reason.

He was hurt I knew that but I felt nothing in return.

Most nights I would just curl up in my bed and wait for sleep to consume me and most nights I'd fall asleep sooner but wake up quite early too.

But every night I only had one thought, more like a question in my head.

'Why does it hurt so much?'

But that's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt.
- Augustus waters.