Balls [5sos ot4]

french balls

Ashton's pov (this is 4 hours before what happened in the last chapters)

"It'll be fine. I promise." I can't promise though. Luke turns around from the mirror to look at me, listening closely while starting to fix my jacket. His hair is styled messily to the side. I like it like that. He's as beautiful as the stars. He's my beautiful boyfriend.

"Once we've talked to them we won't have to worry anymore. We won't have to worry about that night, we'll be able to put it all behind us." I try to listen to my own words. I try to feel comfort from what I suggest to Luke. But all I can feel is my heart beating furiously inside my chest. It's as if it wants to escape, which is funny because so do I.

Luke is still visibly shaking. As I pull him into a tight hug, I wish that there was a way to calm his nerves. All I can hope is that after today everything will be easier for him. For all of us. Luke, Michael, Calum, Jack, Alex, and me.

There's a knock on the bedroom door. We pull away and open it for Calum to come in. They don't exactly have to knock, seeing as it's their room too and we've all seen each other naked (damn does Calum look good naked), but I guess it's the polite thing to do. They know that I'm trying to calm Luke down.

"Ready?" Calum asks, looking down at their watch. I nod. We can do this. We're strong.

~

As we arrive at the cafe, Luke reaches out to hold my hand. He's still shaking. The cafe is on the verge of being isolated. Nobody sits at the old fashioned tables except for a young couple near the window.

Jack and Alex greet us awkwardly as we walk in the door, a bell ringing as I push it open. Jack is wearing an apron. It's quite amusing to see him working here, as it's the kind of job you'd expect a college kid to get. Not a grown man in a famous band.

From the first few seconds of being in their company things become uncomfortable. Nobody speaks, but I can basically hear everyone's head racing with questions. There's so many things to talk about but no way to say them.

I observe the cafe around us as I wait for someone to speak. We're sat in a booth. Each stool that we fill up is a different pastel colour. I have purple, Luke has mint green. From what I can see, that's the theme of the cafe.

The view from the large window isn't very pretty. Opposite sits a dollar store. One of those ugly bright ones. Each side of the road has cars driving along them and pedestrians crossing. I spot a parking warden. That makes the view a hundred times worse.

Each table has a vase of purple flowers on it. Most of them look half dead. Their petals wither downwards, their stalks turning an ugly brown colour. Even water couldn't save them.

Water could save me though; I'm fucking thirsty. Where's a waiter when you need one?

"So!" Jack is the first to break the silence, getting up from his stool and pulling out a pad. "What would you all like?"

I don't need to look at a menu to know what to order. I ask for a coffee and some vegemite toast. Luke does the same. Michael and Alex get hot chocolate, Calum gets water.

~

We wait for Jack to get back with our drinks and food before we start talking. Calum speaks.

"Jack, I'm disappointed in you. I'm disappointed because you knew that Luke doesn't like sex. Don't even try to deny that. You knew, but you still went through with it that night," they say.

I reach out and squeeze Luke's hand to let him know I'm here. I'm here to support him. With my other hand, I take a sip of my coffee. I watch Luke start eating his toast and I do the same.

Jack sighs. "I don't understand why you four are so quick to blame me," he starts. "Luke wasn't the only one who was drunk, he wasn't the only one who couldn't think clearly. I didn't force him to do anything either. I'm not like that."

Michael scoffs as Jack speaks, which earns him a few glares.

"As I was saying, your innocent Lukey was just as wrong as I was."

Admittedly, I do prepare for a fight to start. I expect someone to get punched. But it doesn't happen. We're all adults, and we speak to each other like adults.

Next to talk is Luke. His voice is quiet, unlike the usual Luke who is loud and cheery. I want the real Luke back.

"I think Jack is right. You shouldn't be treating me like what I did was okay just because I'm asexual. We need to acknowledge that Jack and I made mistakes, but we also need to move past it. It's ridiculous that we still even need to think about it."

We're all quiet. I think about what Luke said. We do need to recognise that he did something wrong. Nothing excuses cheating on your partners.

"He's a slut! He came onto Jack like a wild beast! Jack isn't telling the truth. All he's doing is trying to protect Luke. But he's a slut! He forced my Jack to cheat on me. I will not let him--"

Slam. Right in the centre of the face. No longer is the chat an adult chat. Because Luke had punched Alex.

"I am not a slut!" He screams. He's holding his fist. It's hurting from punching Alex, who's sitting on the floor with blood oozing out of his lip. The couple at the window have left, they were most likely scared for their lives.

"I had never had sex before that. I never wanted to have sex either. I didn't like it. I hated it. I woke up in the morning feeling like shit because I was devasted at what we did. I'm not a fucking slut."

"Even if he was, there's nothing wrong with that. You shouldn't use that word," Michael adds. Him and Calum are standing in front of Luke to protect him from any returned punches.

"You don't know what happened." This comes in a whisper now. Tears are rolling down his face. I go to comfort him but he shakes his head. "We have to leave," he commands, his voice now barely audible. So we do.

~

We couldn't even last twenty minutes talking to them without having a fight. I didn't want our meet up to go like that. All I wanted was for this to make it better.

But it's not better. I feel dizzy. I feel like throwing up. I don't know what's wrong, but I'm scared.

Nothing feels real. Not even the cold water of the shower dripping down my back, neither the sound of my partner's voice asking me what's wrong.

Honestly? I haven't a clue what's wrong.

A/N lmao me when I meet people