Chapter 29

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Jaida:

I was sitting on the living room couch, staring at the blank television screen. I could hear Cameron rummaging around in the kitchen getting something for us to eat. We need to have the talk. We needed to clear the air and get all our, well mainly my issues out so we could fix our relationship. I would hate myself if my insecurities and issues, push Cameron away and I lose him forever.

"Well I figured you won't want any take out so I just did macaroni and cheese, it was quick and from a box so how bad could it get if I messed it up." Cameron said to me when he walked into the living room with two steaming bowls of mac and cheese.

"It's fine and you'd be surprised at how easy it is to mess up something as 'simple' as you call it as mac and cheese," I said with a smile.

He smirked, "Did you mess it up?"

I blushed deeply and bent my head, taking a bowl from him, "No, I did it right."

He chuckled, "Of course you did baby, dig in."

I took a bite and sighed, before placing my bowl on my lap, "Not good?"

I looked up at Cameron who was staring down at me and gave him a sad smile, "No, it's good. I just figured we'd get this talk started and clear the air."

He sobered up and his face got serious before he placed his bowl on the coffee table and turned to face me. Sitting cross legged, just like me.

"Well I don't wanna rush you so start when you're ready, just know we're going to be talking this out tonight." I nodded and playfully rolled my eyes at him and he smiled in response before I took a deep breath.

"I think you're too good for me and I'd end up alone, homeless with a three year old and then I'll just be referred to as your crazy ex, like how we refer to Lana," I told him, might as well start with that as those are things that bothered me most.

He sighed and looked down at his hands before glancing up at me, "You're crazy, you know that? But you'll never be my ex, not if I can help it. I can't say I'm surprised by your paranoid behaviour, Derek did quite a number on you, I was there, I witnessed everything that you went through. The fake reassuring smiles for Bella and the rest of the world but the pain and hurt that you'd only show when you think you're alone. I've seen it. This thing between us, our relationship, isn't a pitied one, believe that. I liked you for a really long time, while you were dating Derek. Yea when my grandma introduced us, I wasn't interested in getting to know a single mom but we became friends and I enjoyed every minute we've ever spent together. Jai, I don't know how much times you want me to say it but I'll tell you everyday if I need to, if that's what it takes to reassure you."

I tilted my head and watch him curiously as he shifted towards me until his face was directly in front of mine. He pressed his forehead against my own and placed a kiss on my lips, "I. Love. You." He said, kissing me after each word before pulling back so I could see his whole face, "And one day, I'm going to make you my wife."

I stiffened and stared at him wide eyed. I was surprised at how far his thoughts had gotten but I didn't care. I liked that, he thought about stuff like that. Sure people would say we were rushing it, since we've only been dating a week but we've been friends for so much longer, I like this pace, we're at and I one day hoped he'd marry me,

I slowly felt myself relax and I stared at him, unsure of what I was suppose to say, I did feel a lot lighter talking with him and I felt a lot more reassured because this has got to be the most serious and honest expression I've ever seen on Cam's face. Giving him a small smile that he slowly returned, I sighed in relief.

"We good now? You'll stop doubting my feelings for you? You'll stop thinking I'll one day leave you? Please tell me that you'll stop disappearing for hours. I don't think I can handle that again. You have no idea how scared I get when you're gone from me for so long. My first thoughts weren't that something terrible had happened but that you'd realize that I'M not good enough for YOU and you'd leave me. That you'd realize I'm not this great person you make me out to be, that I'm just average."

I stared at him in surprise, I had no idea he used to feel that way. I was so absorbed with myself that I didn't consider if he would have been affected. "Cameron, you're definitely not average, you're like my superhero."

He chuckled and shook his head and I grabbed his hands, "No listen to me. You became my friend when I needed you most even if I didn't know it yet. I had no idea when we first met that you'd become so important to me, I was terrified of you. You looked so dark and mysterious and like trouble but when I got to know you I realized that you were a sweetheart. You gave me and my kid a home Cam, it doesn't get much better than that. I can sigh in relief that I don't have to worry about Bella having a roof over her head and a warm bed to sleep in at night. You've been here for us in more ways than you think by just being a friend so don't ever doubt that you're something special. You're so much more than just average."

"If you think so highly of me, why don't you see yourself in the same way. You're definitely not average babe. You willingly took guardianship of a friend's baby, while in your first year of college and raised her on a waitress' paycheck. You did that on your own, with no help from anyone else. Yea Maggie and Earl was there so was Clara and I and Genny was a phone call away but at the end of the day it was all you. You raised that kid on your own, for someone that wasn't expecting to be doing that. You've done a damn good job. Isabella is a great kid and that's from your parenting. Sure people can watch and judge you but that's because they don't know the true story, they don't understand what you've been true and how it's made you strong. Stronger than you think and stronger than you give yourself credit for."

I let his words sink in for a moment before giving him a bright smile, "Thank you." I told him and I honestly meant it.

He shook his head, "There's no need to thank me babe, it's the truth and you needed it hear it."

"Where do we go from hear?" I asked curiously.

He looked at me and touched my cheek, "You tell me, how do you feel? Now that we've cleared some of the air."

I thought about how I felt. It felt good to have things out in the open and to feel reassured that Cameron won't leave. That I can trust him to stick it out with me and make good on his promises. I felt like a load was lifted off of me, that I could now focus on all the other minor issues in my life. That's how all my problems looked to me now, like little stumbling blocks that I knew I could get over because I wasn't alone and I wouldn't ever be alone.

I smiled brightly at him once more, "I think we're going to be just fine."

He raised an eyebrow, "Are you sure and not just saying this to end the conversation?"

I nodded my head, "I'm sure, we're fine, I'm fine. I promise."

He got up and stuck his hand out for me to take, "Good, now it's half nine, Bella's with my grandma. What do you want to do? And no, staying at home isn't an option."

I chuckled and took his hand, "Let's just go driving, something well come up eventually."

"Sounds good to me!"

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Well here you go! I honestly didn't like this chapter, it didn't flow how I wanted so I apoligze for it being short and crappy.

Till next time :-)

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