I'm In Hell With Him

Final Chapter - So, Goodbye...

Aeicy's POV

Nagising ako sa malakas na yugyog sakin ni Ate Mylven sa balikat. I thanked her secretly dahil nakaalis ako sa masamang panaginip na 'yon. I felt his hand squeezed mine, so I turn to him. Medyo malabo pa yung paningin ko galing sa pagkakatulog, but I know It's Dad.

"Nightmares again, my princess?" He asks. I just shrugged my shoulders and embrace him. "Shh, don't worry. Mag-uumpisa tayong lahat ng panibagong buhay sa Singapore. I promise you, everything's gonna be alright." 

He kissed my forehead to make me feel calm. Alam niya kasing hindi madali yung mga pinagdaanan ko nitong mga nakaraang araw. We didn't dare to tell everything kay Dad, basta ang alam niya lang, malungkot ako. 

We're at the airport right now, waiting for us to depart. I keep on turning my head left to right, tracing a shadow of him, pero wala. Hindi ako mapakali. We're off to Singapore now, but my head's still not prepared of the thought that we're going to leave our own country.

Living outside the country means a suicide to me. It means leaving my Mom's grave, including her memories. Leaving kuya Rio and his new family. Hindi pa lahat nagsi-sink in sa utak ko na aalis na nga kami sa Pilipinas at hindi na babalik pa.

"Haaaysh, asan na kaya yung lalaking yun? Ano ba yan." Napatingin ako kay Ate, busy sa cellphone niya. When she noticed that I'm looking at her so puzzled, she said, "Si Terence. Ilang minutes na lang, aalis na tayo oh. Pag siya na-late, magpa-book ulit siya ng bagong flight bahala siya dyan." 

Oo nga pala, kasama namin si Terence. Inalok kasi niya si Dad na bilhin yung bahay ni Terence sa Singapore. Hindi ko alam kung nabayaran na ba ni Dad yun pero natatandaan ko nung isang araw, narinig ko silang nag-uusap na ibibigay na ni Terence yung bahay niya samin. I tried to confront Terence about the house, pero sa huli, natalo pa rin ako. Sinabi niya na gusto niya kong tulungan na makapag-umpisa ulit.

Pero hindi naman sa ganitong paraan, I mean, yung moral support lang yung hinihingi ko sa kanya. Not this brand new house and lot. Pero kahit anong protesta ko na i-reject ko yung offer niya, sila pa rin yung nanalo. 

"Sorry I'm late!" Napalingon kaming dalawa ni Ate mylven. "Sorry na! May dinaanan pa kasi akong kaibigan kaya ako natagalan eh." Tapos nun, biglang may nag-announce na. It's time for us to go. Sina ate at Dad naunang maglakad. Sinabayan ako ni terence dala-dala yung ibang exrtra luggage ko. Tapos tumingin siya sakin. "Is everything alright?"

I know he's not asking if I do feel okay. But he's asking me secret questions like: "Are you okay of leaving him? Are you sure you''ll feel okay once you fly away to Singapore? I can feel their eyes on me, so I nodded and smiled forcingly. "You're late and I'm worried."

 He just smiled at patted my head. "I know you're scared, Aeicy. Pero ito naman yung gusto mo diba? To start again. To forget." Napaiwas ako ng tingin sa kanya. Bigla kasing sumikip yung dibdib ko. Parang hindi ako makahinga all of the sudden. It feels like the more step I take, the more air was losing  from my body. 

Then suddenly my whole body was cold. So cold that I thought I'd never be warm again. Napahinto ako sa paglalakad. My heart stopped from beating that automaticaly stopped me from breathing. Then an unnerving thought strikes me, is this the right thing to do? Can I really start again? Without him?