Mixed Direction

Chapter Forty- Four: Until Death Do Tear Us Apart

"Dinner!" Harry bellows from the kitchen and we head across the living area to the dining room table. The children sit on a picnic rug that has been laid out for them and the others gather around the dining room table where we added extra chairs. I sit up at the bench with Zayn to my right and then Jade and Harry to his.

Liam asked to use our house for the party, which we agreed with. It's not the biggest, but the living area is open plan and the raised ceilings create more space, making it seem bigger, better for the gathering of people.

"I think I'm sitting on something," Leigh wriggles around in her seat and then grabs an envelope out from underneath her. "What the?" Leigh mutters and turns it over, reading the front.

"Cancer Research UK," Harry reads off the envelope. "It's yours," he nods at me and Leigh hands it across the table. I take it from him and glance down at the unopened envelope, then lean back a little so I can see Ellie.

Ellie runs to the end of the driveway every afternoon and collects the mail. Obviously this one didn't ever reach me. I think I know what it is though. It's in regards to my genetic mapping and the fact I have the brain tumour gene.

Whilst everyone continues to eat, I silently open it under the table, pulling out the folded sheet of paper and spreading it out, looking down at the writing printed into the page.

Scanning across the results I feel a giant weight lifted off my shoulders. Ellie A. Malik: negative. Lillie G. Malik: negative. Rosie C. Malik: negative. Subconsciously I let out a sigh and Zayn looks at me along with some of the others.

"Here," I hand it to Zayn and after a moment he starts smiling. We decided to get them tested, so we knew for the future, to go onto their health records. I know we shouldn't be worrying about things like this, but it is better to now know they're in the clear, than stress about it every time they have a headache.

Zayn smiles at me and then his expression changes. It confuses me further when he looks away and then places the letter back into the envelope. Zayn looks back up and lets out a small sigh. 

"Can we have a word?" Zayn mutters, his voice silent. I nod and we excuse ourselves from the table, heading down the hallway and into our bedroom.

Closing the door behind me, I then lean back against it as Zayn grabs a box out of the chest of draws, turning around and holding the box up so I can see it. My breath hitches in my throat and we both look into each other's eyes, the same amount of worry in both. 

"You know?" I ask. 

"Ellie mentioned that you have been vomiting. I connected the dots," Zayn replies and I take the box from him, heading into the bathroom next door with Zayn following behind. With a lock of the door I walk over to the toilet and Zayn stands by the door. 

"I know you've seen me naked, but you don't need to see me wee," I remind him and Zayn chuckles a little, apologising and turning around to face the door. I wee on the stick and then place it on the box, set up on the counter. After washing my hands I rest back against the counter and Zayn walks over, resting next to me. 

Blank spaces get filled with different things. People have children to form families. Whether a baby is planned or not, the moment you hold them in your arms, there's no way of ever letting go. You're constantly worrying, and not excessively, but the fear is always lurking deep down, that you will muck up, or they will get hurt. That a headache could be a brain tumour, thank the Lord they don't have the gene. 

"I know we shouldn't be talking about anything until we know," Zayn speaks up. "But we made a vow. For a long, long time, I felt like I wasn't doing anything worthy, that I was just going through life. Then I met you," I can see he's looking at me, but I keep looking at the ground. "The first time I heard you speak, it was like someone had put air into my lungs."

"Sounds sappy, I know. But I made a vow, to you. I'm not going to break that vow. I can't ever break that vow. Until death do tear us apart, but not even that can stop me. You, and our girls, you make me happy," Zayn says and I turn to look at him.  

My arms wrap around his waist and he holds me around my back, hugging me tightly as I hold on for my life. I am an idiot. I am such a bloody fucking idiot. He is everything that I'll ever want-

"Per," Zayn mumbles. "Look at the test," Zayn adds and I turn around, hearing the slight excitement in his voice. 

"Thank the Lord," I let out another sigh of relief and then crouch to the floor, holding my hands over my face as my legs curl up to my chest. My back presses to the floor and I look up at Zayn who is smiling down at me. 

"I'm not ready," I mutter. "Not another one," I add and Zayn crouches down, moving a loose bit of hair out of my face. "You're not sad though?" I question, making sure he's okay with the fact that it was negative. 

"When you say, you're not ready, does that mean you will be in the future?" Zayn teases and I whack his knee. "I'm only joking, three is enough," Zayn presses a gentle kiss to my forehead. Within moments his lips are hovering above mine, but the sudden pounding on the door scares us, making Zayn jump up. 

"Are you two alive in there?!" Louis' voice questions. 

"Having a quickie?" Harry chuckles and I hear a whacking noise and Liam giving some sort of stern whisper to Harry. 

When I get up and open the door, after throwing out the test, Liam, Harry, and Louis are on the other side of the door. Harry is snickering to himself and Liam is shaking his head, obviously at the younger lad.

"What were you doing?" Louis asks. 

"Having a quickie," I tease and Harry starts cracking up. We all watch him pissing himself with laughter and shake our heads along with Liam. That boy is an absolute idiot. But he is part of our family. Family that fills the blank spaces and makes things a whole lot better. To make a vow, to love each other, until death do tear us all, apart.