Mixed Direction

Chapter Twenty- Two: Since May

{Jesy's POV}

Today I get to see my baby for the first time. My twelve week scan to see the little one growing inside me. The toes, the fingers, the little head. I'm so excited. But I am also worried. Worried about something being wrong, something missing or having twins. I don't think I'd be able to do twins.

Also the worry that my baby might have no heartbeat too. Only three days ago did we find out that Perrie's baby had no heartbeat, so all that's been flooding through my mind is the fact that I might have a miscarriage.

I still had the issues with the fertility and after trying and waiting for so long, I don't know if I'll be able to cope if there's no heartbeat or no baby.

But, worrying will never change the outcome. As Louis so confidently tattooed on his chest, 'it is what it is'.

"How are you Jesy?" Dr. Erica asks me as I follow her into the exam room.

"I'm great thank you!" I reply as Dr. Erica pats the bed I need to get up onto. I sit up on the bed and Dr. Erica sanitises her hands, playing with the machine.

"And your husband isn't here today?" Dr. Erica asks me. I shake my head in response, glancing at the chair next to me where Jordan should be, but he isn't. Jordan got called out to Brighton for an urgent work thing, so he couldn't come.

"No, but Leigh came instead," I smile at Leigh- Anne who is sat next to me. Leigh smiles back and greets Dr. Erica too.

"Okay! So, Jesy could you please pull your top up to just under your bust," Dr. Erica smiles, grabbing the gel and the wand thing. Once my top is up she places some of the cold gel onto my rounded stomach and then moves the wand down on top of it, moving it around my lower stomach whilst watching the screen.

"It seems like only yesterday I was doing ultrasounds for little Ellie, but now I can show you your baby Jesy," Dr. Erica smiles at me. "Here," she turns the screen and I look at the little grey baby shape in the middle of the screen.

I feel my heart beat faster and start to grow warmer and warmer with love. The tears start to swell in my eyes and I squeeze Leigh- Anne's hand tighter with joy.

"Is the little one okay?" Leigh asks Dr. Erica.

"Yes. Just right," Dr. Erica replies with a big smile. "Nothing is wrong, there's no signs of disability from what I can see and everything is there and forming well. By the current looks of things, you have a perfectly healthy baby," Dr. Erica tells me.

I release the breath I was holding in and sniffle, wiping my eyes with my spare hand. You have no clue how damn happy I am right now! I cannot even begin to imagine how lucky I am, let alone how incredible this all is.

Dr. Erica goes through some more things, lets me hear the heartbeat- which is just outstanding- and then Leigh- Anne and I collect the scans before leaving the clinic and heading back to my place.

"Isn't he cute Jes!" Leigh exclaims as I open the door to my house. "Aww! I'm so happy for you!"

"He?" I ask Leigh, heading into the house.

"Yep! I reckon you're having a little boy," Leigh- Anne replies.

"I reckon it's a girl though," Jade appears with a giant smile on her face. "How was it? Let me see! Let me see!"

I laugh and hand Jade the scans, letting her have a look at my baby.

It's kind of hard to believe it all. To actually understand and try to make real the fact that I have a small human being inside me that is growing into a baby that within six months I will be able to hold and love even more than I already do. To bring up and to never stop loving.