Just Don't Ask

The Joke

The Joke

“You’re serious?” I asked as I thought of my cousin Sean and his two friends hanging out in the basement.

They didn’t call or text anyone, nope they just showed up. Of course they weren’t aware that this was a family barbecue, and that the entire family was here. So while they were hiding out in the basement with Sean, I was getting pestered about which one I thought was cuter. Curse my cousin for being the same age as me! Once everybody stopped bugging me, the female population of my family -consisting of my mom (aka Deb), my aunt Tracy (Sean’s mom), my grandma (Hazel –cool name right?) and my lovely sister Kaitlin (Eighteen stinking years old! I hope she moves out soon.)- came up with a very… interesting idea. My mom grinned at me and started talking, but I couldn’t listen because her shiny white teeth were so darn distracting, yes I like shiny things- so sue me. I gave her my best WTJ (what the jalapeño) look.

“I said I’m serious about what I said, not now but… well now too but before when I was saying about giving you twenty bucks if you did it before, but still now or future…. you get what I mean!” she finished in a huff, yeah I take after my mom.

I smiled; they didn’t think I would do it. Ha! They don’t know what I would do for twenty smackaroonies.

“Okay, hand it over.” I put my hand out towards my grandmother, and she quickly placed something in my hand.

I grabbed it tightly, and then started towards the basement. As I hit the first step I stopped and turned around to face a giggling trio of women, Aunt Tracy and my mom were laughing the hardest, covering their mouths with both their hands. My sister was just kinda there. I breathed a deep sigh, shook my head then continued on trying to withhold my smile which was just dying to come out. Once we were just around the corner I motioned for them to stay there; just out of sight. Taking a deep breath, I ruffled up the dark red animal on my head that some people call hair, and strode out to find the guys sitting watching hockey. Wow, so typical. Guys and their sports, I don’t know why they don’t just go out and actually play them.

Okay… IT’S SHOWTIME, “Hey could I get either of you two to do me a favour? Actually, who has the bike?” I asked my voice being a pitch higher than usual.

“Uh, yeah, sure I have the bike.” said the cute one.

I turned to face him, oh man that kid is seriously going to regret saying that. I had to stop myself from giggling aloud, poor, poor unsuspecting guy. I started to hyperventilate a bit, oh wow this is funny!

“Do you think you could drop my grandma’s stool sample off at the clinic?” I choked out.

“Okay, the clinic just up by the Co-op works?” cute guy asked.

I felt my jaw literally drop; I quickly shut my mouth again and nodded. Oh crap the dude was actually going to do it! But this is a joke! I handed him the official looking, cylinder, stool sample container, and he just started getting ready to leave. Sean and the other boy were telling the cute guy to get them stuff from Co-op. Sean was being surprisingly quiet considering he had this same joke pulled on him earlier; at least that’s what I heard. HOLD UP! I can’t let him leave with that! I walked over to coffee table the three were now crowded around.

“Actually could one of you two check and make sure there is enough?” I asked as innocently as possible.

Immediately both of them started backing away from the container that had somehow ended up on the table, shouting out a lot of “you do it”s and a variety of “It’s your grandma’s crap!”s. Jeez they sure got worked up, I was smiling and chuckling under my breath but I don’t think they noticed.

“Fine I’ll check, hmm yup I think that’s just about enough.” I said cheerfully as I took out a small three-legged wooden stool.

The two instantly shut up with their mouths hanging open. I smirked, thanked them for their time and walked to the corner to find my hysterical aunt, mother, and grinning sister. We all headed up the stairs laughing so hard people probably could have mistaken us for a bunch of donkeys with whooping cough. After I retold the story a few million times to all my family, I finally approached my mom.

“I’ll have that twenty dollar bill now please.” I smirked at her, and skipped away once my precious money was handed over.

What fun, those poor boys though haha. Finally they guys came out of the basement looking a bit embarrassed and got ready to leave.

“Hey we got you a girlfriend up here.” called my grandpa to the guys as they left.

I groaned, I really couldn’t catch a break. I spent the rest of the evening being either teased, or congratulated on my epic performance. That night when I finally decided to sleep I smashed my face into my pillow trying to stop the laughter from coming back. That was really fun, mmm I think I might have to ask Sean for that guys number, ooh or maybe I'll have him give that guy my number. I thought of my amazing acting skills, and guys until I finally drifted off to sleep.