blue || nate maloley fanfic(MAJOR EDITING)

9

Layla

5 Months later...

I've been back in LA for a while now, the passing of my dad has easily became the hardest thing I've ever been through.

Johnson visited me the other day...first time I'd seen him in months, he knew I would be distraught but I guess he did expect it to be this bad.

He said to me, "Don't let yourself die while you are still alive. Promise me Layla."

I looked at him with tears brimming my eyes, "I promise." I lied.

When tragedy occurs, it presents a choice. You can give in to the void, the emptiness that fills your heart, your lungs, constricts your ability to think or even breathe. Or you can try to find meaning. I've tried so hard to not let myself give into this void but I did.

The Jacks and Sam have all told me the same thing, "You're not the same happy Layla you used to be."

I always stopped myself from shouting, I lost my father 5 months ago, what do you expect?

Nate never called, nor texted he left me in complete shambles. I haven't spoken to him since that day. I haven't been on social media and I don't think I'll ever be ready for it because I know he's having the time of his life while I'm in this miserable depression. But the questions still remains, why would he do this to me? How could he forget about me?

Ty and John call me and text me everyday to make sure I'm doing fine. It breaks my heart because if they could take the time out of their days to check up on me why can't Nate.

Sam stays a couple nights a week when he could. He has tried to fill the empty space in my bed, holding me each night until I cry myself to sleep. He has fought to hold back his own tears to make room for mine.

I don't know if I'll ever be okay. I don't know if I want to ever feel again. I am numb. I'm tired of the pain and the emotions.

I just wanted to turn it all off. And that I did.

A/n:

I feel bad for Layla.