Mask-An Attack on Titan Fan Fiction

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Someone was screaming. I didn't care who it was, but I had to admire their timing. The scream grew more and more ragged, and paused as I drew in breath, causing me to realize that it was I who was making the noise. I felt as if I was moving through tar. This had to be a dream. This horrible pain could not be real. It was too terrible to be real.

Through my horrified fog, I shook Gunther, who was obviously playing a horrible prank on me. Any moment now, he was going to wake up, laughing, and scoop me into one of his heartwarming hugs.

But he wasn't waking up.

"Gunther," I said, feeling my voice rise in desperation, "Gunther, wake up. Wake up! I forgive you! I forgive you for everything! Please just wake up."

Then, as I saw the odd way his neck had been bent, the reality began to sink in like the blade of a knife. I felt heaving sobs shaking my body, and I clutched at Gunther's shirt, trying to extricate some of the comfort that radiated from him. There was nothing, no warmth in his body. There was no way for this pain to stop; no way for it to be taken away. This pain was unlike anything I had ever experienced, and I let it surround my whole body, allowing for this small form of punishment for being left behind to live.

I wanted death. I felt as though my heart was being ripped from my chest and torn in two.

I'm not strong enough, Gunther, I told my brother, You can't leave me again.

Someone grabbed my waist, trying to remove me from Gunther's body. I kicked at whoever it was, daring them to try again, as my sobs rose back into screams.

I was grabbed again, and dragged backwards, still reaching to hold my brother one more time.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Gunther.

I was thrown to the ground, and I tried to run back to Gunther, but someone's arm stopped me. My sobs were at such intensity that my knees buckled and I sank to the ground, my face buried into the face of the person preventing my escape.

"I want him back," I screamed.

My head was pushed backwards, and I found myself staring into the face of Corporal Levi.

"You can't get him back," the Corporal said fiercely, "He's dead."

His voice was still numb, and his lack of emotion caused rage to scream inside of me.

"Do you even care?" I shouted at the Corporal, "This is my brother! How can you just sit there and-"

The Corporal grabbed me by both arms, his steely eyes flashing. "And act like an unfeeling monster? Let me tell you, Cadet Larrson, I have experienced death in numbers unimaginable. One cannot attempt to fathom the pain that so many others have been through."

With that stinging phrase, he pushed me away and strode off, leaving me at the foot of my brother's body.

The rest of the expedition passed in a painful blur. Even passing under the bitter glares of the citizens couldn't seem to pull me out of my horrific trance. The curses muttered by the sullen onlookers didn't penetrate my consciousness, nor did their dark glowers.

Once we arrived back at headquarters, night was rising in the sky. I settled my horse in the stables, numbly noting the worried glances my comrades kept throwing in my direction. As I headed up to my room, my shoulder bumped against someone else's as we headed in opposite directions.

"Ilsa! Hold on a minute!" It was Sasha.

"What?"

"I-I'm sorry about your brother," she said, "It must be awful for you."