Chapter Nineteen: Answers Aren't for Everyone

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Chapter Nineteen: Answers Aren't for Everyone


Destined to be evil? Me, evil...? It just doesn't fit. I could barely kill a bug, let alone anyone else for that matter! 

I was about to argue with Derrek and tell him he couldn't be more wrong, but I knew I couldn't. The moment I heard the word blood leave his lips, images of the other day filled my mind. I saw the blood stained ground, the scent lingering in the air. I was terrified that day, but mostly because my wolf was enjoying it. Actually liking the 'power' she felt by knowing she had killed someone... She had murdered someone, something... I had committed a murder. 

"Roxie, I tried my hardest to keep you out of this life. Shit!" Derrek growled in frustration. "I was supposed to protect you. Mom and Dad never wanted any of this for you," He sighed, running a hand down his face. 

"I-I..." I trailed off, not sure what to say at a time like this. 

Now that Gloria was at rest and no longer stirring me up, I could finally think clearly again. I wanted to cry. How did I let her get into my head like she did? She controlled me. I feel used and dirty. 

"Why is this happening now?" I asked, no longer being able to take the questions flooding my mind. 

"It's complicated," Derrek stated, but I wasn't going to accept that for an answer. 

"Derrek, you told me you would tell me. I need to know... can I fix this?" I asked hesitantly. 

"No, it's too late. I'm so sorry, Roxie. I failed you as a brother, I could've prevented this better! I wasn't strict enough, I didn't watch over you to make sure you were in your room. I should have never let you in on that pack meeting! God, I'm so stupid!" Derrek shouted, his pain and anger getting the best of him. 

"Derrek, it's my fault. I'm the one who's sorry; I should have listened," I tried to argue, but Derrek was already beating himself up over everything. 

His fist connected with the wall, leaving a hole in it. He hollered at everyone to leave, but Mabel shook her head no. She told him she needed to discuss something with me and he should take some time to cool off. Derrek wanted nothing more than to disagree and ignore Mabel's comment, but Lance forced him out of the room. 

They fought with each other for some time about who was who's Alpha. Derrek, of course, had to pull that card. Lance, however, didn't have to listen to Derrek. Beta's have the power to overrule their Alpha if his temper gets the best of him. That's exactly what was happening here with Derrek, he was mentally kicking himself in the ass.  

Once they left, I felt tempted to call him back, because I wanted more answers. Mabel wouldn't allow me to though, she said she needed to talk to me alone. As much as I didn't want to do that, beings that last time everything fell apart, she made it happen. 

So here I am, sitting in a room with Mabel. All alone and waiting for answers that I think will never come... 

"You know how I told you that I saw your dreams and thoughts on my computer?" Mabel questioned and I nodded in response. "Well, it's your mate. Roxie, I know you love him. There's something you don't know and can't know." 

"Why can't I know?!" I screamed as my last bit of patience ran out. "Everyone keeps telling me that I don't understand. You tell me I'm evil, that my wolf can kill me, that everything I've lived so far is a lie! Why the fuck can't I know?!" By this time, I couldn't hold in the tears as they fell down my face. "Mabel, I'm scared... I just want to know. Is that so much to ask? Don't I have a right to know what's happening to me?" 

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