Don't Touch the Alpha's Sister!

Chapter Twelve: It's Harder To Deal With Than You Think

Chapter Twelve: It's Harder To Deal With Than You Think




"AH!" I cried out as the nightmares left me and consciousness returned.

"Sh! It's okay, Roxie. I'm here," A voice cooed to me.

"Leo?" I questioned, trying to look through the darkness and make out who's there.

"It's Xavier," He whispered, moving closer to be by my side in comfort.

The only thing wrong with that is nothing can comfort me- especially my jerk of a mate. When I woke up on that forest ground, I tried so hard to block out the memories. I tried so hard to make myself forget everything that happened that night, but I couldn't hide it forever. In my dreams it haunted me and it's going to continue to haunt me for a long time. I'm scared and angry, nothing can stop me from feeling this way.

"Get away from me!" I screamed, running off the bed and into the corner of the room to hide from Xavier.

"Roxie, I-" He started, only to be cut off by my cries.

"No! You're not allowed to try to be here for me when you were with that other girl!" I shouted in between sobs.

"I'm sorry, I really am," He apologized, but I wasn't going to accept it. "Roxie, you have no idea what I deal with. I'm sorry if I hurt you, but I'm trying. Isn't that enough?" He asked blankly.

"No, Xavier, it's not enough! I needed you to be there for me and you weren't! So fuck off!" I added in at the end to get my point across clearer.

"Roxie-" He began again, but I'm more than finished hearing his excuses.

"No, Xavier, it's too late," I said, glaring at him through the darkness. "Please leave," I whispered, all emotions leaving me and my body filled with weakness.

Xavier didn't answer. A long, drawn out silence hung in the air. I sat on the ground with my head in my knees, I didn't need to look up to know Xavier was standing there looking at me. I wanted to break down and cry right in front of him, to tell him everything and have him fix it. The only issue with that? I can't trust Xavier.

He has done nothing this whole time, except for prove how untrustworthy he really is. He's so bipolar and never seems to have his head on right. The man hates me one minute, then loves me more than anything the next. I'm getting tired of it and the fact he told everyone I lied about us being mates is unforgivable.

"I'll let you have your space." Xavier sighed before turning and exiting the room.

I sat on the ground crying for hours. It felt great to just let it all out and not feel judged. I felt sore all over my body and every time I closed my eyes, images of the party would flash through my mind. It broke me, honestly, I felt dead. Those guys had taken something I held special to me and now I'm forced to endure this pain and suffering.

I just hate that I have to go it alone. I don't have friends here- well not friends who know the truth and I can open up to. I have no idea what I'm doing with my life and I think coming here was a huge mistake. I should have listened to Derrek when he told me not to go looking for my mate.

If only I could turn back time and right my wrongs.

Soon the moon faded from the sky and the sun rose up high. I remained huddled up in the corner, holding onto my body for dear life. I didn't feel comfortable and I was afraid if I relaxed someone would grab me. I guess this is what I get for acting the way I did towards the people I call my family by running away.

The next couple of days seemed to drag on. Soon, a few days turned into a week and a week turned into a week and a half.

I felt lifeless, like everything had been sucked out of me. I laid in bed crying all day, but the worst came at night. Nightmares and horrible images flashed through my mind, bringing me back and forcing me to replay that terrible night.

I haven't had a good nights sleep in ages, and my eating habits could kill a person. I'm not trying to do this to myself, I just can't help it. I don't hunger for food and since sleep scares me, I try my best to avoid it. My wolf isn't even around either. It's like she's in hiding and refusing to face the truth of all of this.

Xavier is the only person who comes into my room. He's always trying to get me to eat something, but more often than not, he has to force me to. The usual sparks I get when he's around have died out. I no longer melt at his touch, or even notice when he enters a room. My mind's distracted and on lock down. When Xavier comes near me, I flinch. I don't like being touched and hearing his voice makes me want to cry.

How could he leave me that night? He left me alone when he was supposed to protect me. I don't care how hard he's trying now to pull me from this mood now, nothing can cancel out his previous actions. I'm finished with giving him chances. Him and my wolf combined bullied me into being this weak girl and now after a night like that; I quit. They win. I just have to accept that people are always going to use and abuse me.

"Roxie?" Xavier whispered as he turned the knob to the door lightly and walked in.

I didn't answer him, I didn't even look at him. My gaze was fixed on the back wall and I'm sure that he's used to it by now. I haven't been able to bring myself to make eye contact with him. Like I said before, I feel lifeless and practically dead on the inside.

"I brought you your favorite breakfast, fruit salad," I saw Xavier smile out of the corner of my eye, but I didn't return it. "Roxie, please talk to me," He begged and I had to bit my tongue in order to fight back the tears ready to form in my eyes.

"There's nothing to talk about," I spat, clenching my jaw at the sudden rush of anger building up inside of me.

"Roxie, did someone hurt you?" He whispered, his voice unsure and probably afraid of the answer.

My voiceless wolf for the past week and a half came to life with a growl inside of me. I was shocked a little from her sudden appearance, but I shrugged it off right away. I was becoming furious with Xavier at the moment. He can't pretend he never did anything wrong. For all I know, when he leaves this room, he runs off to see one of his bimbo's.

The thought of that angered me even more and I found myself gripping the sheets and hollering at him with dagger eyes. "YOU HURT ME WHEN YOU LEFT ME ALONE TO BE WITH THAT FUCKING SLUT!" I yelled, my voice loud enough to be heard throughout the house.

Xavier's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. I was sure he was going to give me a response, but my words left him speechless instead. I guess he wasn't expecting an outburst from me, but he sure as hell deserves more than that. 

"Roxie, I-I-" He started, but only to be cut off by me.

"You what? You're sorry?! NO! You don't get to apologize to me after all the hell you've put me through! I hate you, Xavier Daniels and I wish we were never mates! I should have listened to my brother when he told me that you would turn out to be a FUCKING ASSHOLE!" I lost complete control. All the words came out so easily, almost as if they weren't coming from me.

I could feel my wolf pushing through and in that moment I knew it had been her. She had been feeding me those lines. Although I loved the shocked expression it gave Xavier, I still felt in the wrong for freaking out on him like that.

"He deserves it," Gloria encouraged, but I didn't agree.

"He's been trying to take care of-" I began, but my words were cut short.

"NO! We don't need him, Roxie. Through all the bad that has happened, one great thing remains. You have no idea how much better we can do without him," She pressed.

"Gloria, what do you mean?" I questioned her, worried about how power hungry my wolf is becoming.

"All in due time, Roxie. All in due time," She laughed and it sent an involuntary shiver down my spine.

"What?" Xavier questioned, referring to my strange actions.

"GET OUT, XAVIER!" I found myself shouting, only it was my wolf taking control.

"Roxie, you need to calm down. Here, let me help you," Xavier answered in a soothing voice as he took a step closer.

A low, threatening growl ripped through my chest as a warning for him to back off. I was surprised my wolf was reacting with such hate toward Xavier and such power toward me. She had been lifeless for almost two weeks now; where did this come from? 

Xavier looked as if he was having a full blown conversation with his wolf. His face was stuck between a shocked expression and a thoughtful one. I was afraid to ask what he was talking about, for fear my wolf would lash out again. Whatever it was they were discussing; it didn't look like it was very productive.

"But that's impossible... We're mates... Our wolves, they're supposed to be.... connected," He mumbled, but it only puzzled me more.

"Oh, so now I'm your mate? I guess that makes sense since you're free now. Should I go wait in the closet until the next time you want me around? Or would you rather ring a bell and call me like the slave you want?" My wolf hissed for me to him with a voice full of sarcasm. 

To say Xavier looked taken back by this whole scene was an understatement. The man looked lost and... hurt. I actually felt sorry for him and wanted nothing more than to embrace him in a comforting hug. 

"Don't you dare make a move, or I'll turn it into something you'll regret," Gloria barked and I wasn't about to challenge her for dominance.

"Roxie, look. I know I wasn't the best mate before, but it's killing my wolf to be without you. Spending these last two weeks with you in this room has made me want you more than ever. Before when I pushed you away, it was me ignoring my wolf. I don't know what upset you, but please let me help. You have to believe me when I say that it isn't easy for me to apologize. I just want you to be mine," He pleaded and it gave my wolf a sense of power.

She was starting to sicken me with how evil she's becoming. Everything she says and does is for power and place. It isn't normal for a wolf to act like this, especially towards their mate! What is wrong with me?

"Nothing is wrong with wanting to be in control," Gloria corrected. "We don't need him, Roxie. think about all the pain he's caused you. He rejected you, tossed you aside and moved on to other women. He left you to be violated, to be destroyed. Where was this man when we needed him most?" 

"Gone," I answered in a whisper aloud as a single tear rolled down my cheek. 

Everything she was saying was right. Xavier hurt me, put me through hell and almost ruined me. If it wasn't for my wolf pushing me to be better, I wouldn't be here. She wants to help me; to save me from myself. I can't let people walk all over me anymore, I need to stand up for myself. That starts with Xavier.

"That's it, Roxie. Give him hell," My wolf praised and it brought a small, mischievous smile to my face.

"Roxie?" Xavier called out to me with caution. 

"You're lying," I stated in a plain voice. "You're saying what you think I want to hear, so you can stab me in the back later."

"Roxie, I would never!" Xavier hissed in defense.

"Oh, but you would. You hurt me in almost every possible way, but it won't happen again. I'm done with you, Xavier. Do you hear me? I don't want to ever hear you say my name again. I. Hate. Yo-"

Before I could finish, Xavier snapped. Pressing me up against a wall and restraining my arms by holding them above my head by the wrists. My wolf and I were going crazy at the thought of him overpowering us (her more than I). I started growling and snapping at him to let me go, but he didn't let up in the slightest.

"You listen to me, Roxanne. You are mine and only mine. I am your Alpha, so that entitles me to do whatever I want with you. If I want you as my mate, then I fucking get you as my mate. Do you understand me?" I was about to answer, but his roaring voice cut me off and made it hard to counter. "I don't know what is up with your wolf, but I have every intention of finding out. My mate will not show disrespect towards her Alpha! So much as step out of line again, Roxanne and so help me God; I will not hesitate to put you in your place." 

His voice was full of authority and it shook me to my core. My wolf refused to back down, but I felt the need to coware in response. He had a firm grip on me and I knew there was no way of getting out of this one. Gloria, on the other hand, was jumping around inside of me to let her kick his ass. 

I tried my hardest to hold her back and keep my wolf at bay, but it seems along with her hiding, came power. She seemed to grow by everything that happened; I wonder if it fueled something within her. It didn't matter though, because all I could think about is how hard it's becoming to contain her. 

With that thought, Gloria made the final push to break through the wall I put up to hold her back. With full force, she brought my legs up and kicked Xavier in his manhood. He released his hold on me, falling to the ground in reaction to the hard blow. A small part of me felt bad for him, but there was no way Gloria would give up now. I only wished she would stop while she was ahead and not push him any further. I know he deserves this, but I still care for my mate.

"He doesn't have anything on the power I can and will contain," Gloria announced, but since she had control over me; she spoke aloud. 

I could tell by the look on Xavier's face that he knew it had been my wolf acting out. When I tried to gain control again to go to his aid, Gloria reminded me of all the bad he's done to me. I still had to admit a part of me will always care for him, but most of me hates his guts. I quickly became sick at the sight of him lying there on the floor in pain. 

Wanting nothing more than to retreat from this scene, I pushed Xavier aside as I made my way towards the door. "Oh yeah, Xavier. You can take this as me rejecting you," I called over my shoulder before grabbing the handle and slamming the door shut behind me.