Random Fandom Thoughts

Bad Day T-T

I'm having a really bad day today. "Why?" You may ask. I shall tell you why. Gather around, dear readers. It's story time. As all of you know, I don't cuss or allude to cuss words. But today I'm a bit pissed so forgive me for breaking my personal rule. {song is Dispicable Me by Pharrell Williams}

So I went to take my driver's test. I'm the type of person who easily gets anxious. It gets to the point where I get sick to my stomach. Anyways, I was extremely nervous and worrying about the possibility of failing. I don't do well when it comes to failing at something. I know it's an irrational fear but I always feel like a complete failure if I screw up the slightest. So my dad and I were sitting at the DPS waiting for an hour to take my driving test and all that is flying around in my head.

After an hour, my driving instructor finally called my name to take my test. She was a short, elderly lady with short, gray hair. Old lady equals kind and sweet, right? HAILS NAH! This b**** had an attitude with me before I even got to my f-ing car! Obviously none of this was helping my anxiety and nerves. So we walk over to my car to begin the inspection of my car to make sure everything was working. I started my car and did everything she told me to do. I had to leave my door open because my buttons for the locks and the windows weren't working. I told the woman that when she started the inspection.

After inspection, she walks over the passenger side and tries to open the door. It won't budge, which was confusing because it was working fine for my dad this morning. She tries it again and starts to glare at me through the window as if it's some how my fault, which it's not. My car was completely unlock. I fumble around for the unlock button on my keys and hit the button a few times. She tries the door again and it still won't open. I hit the button as she starts to yank on the door. My nerves at the moment? Freakin' sky high dude. I was starting to have a panic attack. I then leaned over and open the door from the inside, thinking that would solve the issue. What does the b**** do?

THE F***ING DALEK CLOSES THE DAMN DOOR! I'm like "Excuse me, I thought you wanted in the car? Last time I checked, we are not in the f***ing song I Write Sins Not Tragedies by Panic! At The Disco." I kid you not right after she closed the door, she started to yank the door handle AGAIN! And I'm like, "Lady, you break my door handle, I swear to Odin you will pay for it. I already had to replace one and I'm not doing that again for a while." So I opened the door again, becoming more of an anxious, nervous wreck. The woman is obviously getting mad and told me with a major attitude, "I have to be able to open it from the the outside."

I gave her a confused look. I apologized (it's sort of my go to phrase when ever I start having a panic attack) and told her that it was working fine this morning.

She sort of scoffed at me and told me to open the door from the outside. I got out of the driver's seat and walked around to the passenger door (my car only has two doors). I grabbed the door handle and pulled. Guess what? The door OPENED. The b**** closed the door again and made me open it again. I repeated what I did again and the door opened again. She closed it a third time and opened it herself. It acted like it was stuck and then opened. She did it yet again and the door opened effortlessly. The f***ing dumb ass didn't know how to open a f***ing car door.

Finally we both get in and start the driving test. I felt like I did well. I thought I was doing everything right. When it came to the end of the test, she made me park a little bit away from the DPS. She then proceeded to tell me how I screwed up everything, that I had taken my hands off the wheel when I never did, and that she would see me in a couple days. It didn't set in right away that the Dalek b**** had basically told me that I failed.

After she got out of the car, what she said had sunk in. I failed. Like I said before, I don't do well with failing. I saw her walk over to my dad and begun to tell him that I failed. When they were done he walked over to the passenger side and we both got in. Don't make fun of me for saying this (seriously, don't), but as soon as I got in the car I started to cry. I was so upset because I felt like a total screw up. My dad tried to comfort me by saying not everyone gets it the first time and that the instructor was just being a b**** because she couldn't opened a door.

The thing I don't understand is that when I had taken a mock driving test with my driving lesson instructor on my finale driving lesson, my driving instructor had said I was great. The only problems they had were that I would be a little over or under the speed limit. And I was driving exactly like I would as if I were in a driving lesson. So how the f***ing hell could I go from great to failing?!?!?! Can some one please explain this to me!?!

So I'm pretty much pissed off and I feel like crying a lot. I had planned to go home and just wallow around because I can't stand to be around or deal with people, but no. My dad made me go to work with him, so I have to be pissed off around people. I feel like a f***ing hot mess. My make up is probably smeared and my eyes are red and puffy and I probably look like I'm about to rip someone's head off. I feel as if the whole world is flipping me the bird and saying, "F*** YOU, BRITT!!!!"

And of course my dad told everyone he works with that I was taking my drivers test today. So when the saw my dad and I pull up today, they would look at my with smiles and asked me how I did. I had a f***ing constant reminder that I failed. I just shook my head and kept my head down, staring at the grown. They all gave me sympathetic looks and said that I would get it next time. I just nod and walk away, hearing my dad faintly explaining what happened.

I get that I'm supposed to respect my elders and I do respect them, but it's people like that f***ing a** hole that make me hate humanity.

*sighs deeply* I'm sorry for this huge f***ing rant and all the cursing. I just needed to say something before I explode at some random person and explode. I promise my next update will be something up beat and happy.

Agent Britt out.