Without You

Chapter 8

- Zayn's POV-

I felt like I was drowning, I couldn't see it but I could feel the crash of salty water falling over my face and suffocating me. I tried to swim up and find my way to the surface, but I couldn't find it. I felt as if I was swimming in circles, for all I knew I could be swimming the wrong way and be going deeper into the abyss of water. My lungs were hurting me, I could feel them tightening around me from the lack of air. Everything around me was dark, so dark I couldn't see 2 feet in front of me. I just kept swimming until I saw something. It was a white light, it pulled me into it. It made me feel warm and safe. The closer I got to it the light the less my lungs hurt. I swam quickly trying to get closer to the light, it was the only thing that made the pain go away.

"CLEAR" A booming male voice yells from somewhere behind me. I try to locate the voice but once I turn away from the light my lungs squeeze tightly again causing me to whimper. I feel a shock run through my body forcing me back farther away from the warmth of the light. I turn away back to the warmth of the light. I swim closer to the white light realizing it keeps moving farther and farther from me. Pushing myself forward I feel a violent shock work its way through me jolting me and making me feel dizzy.

"Niall, Don't watch" A high pitched voice says calmly. Niall! I try to yell but my mouth fills with salty water and the feeling of drowning falls over me again. One more jolt forces its way through me and all the pressure falls away from my chest. I feel the water evaporate around me and the light disappears. I fall into a quiet slumber.

***

"Zayn baby, I love you. I miss you, please wake up" A soft Irish voice says rubbing small circles on the top of my hand with his thumb. I try to speak and tell him I'm alright but I can’t form the words. I try to squeeze his hand instead but I'm too weak. I give up and try to think about where I am and why I'm here. All I remember is Niall leaving and me waking up with the feeling drowning. I drift off to another slumber, I really need to stop falling asleep. I wake up to the hum of people whispering

"Louis no. I can't. Things are different, I called you out of fear. I shouldn't have done that. I wouldn't have if I would have known you were going to act this way. Now please leave." Niall whispers harshly to who I'm assuming was Louis. What in the world could they be talking about? What does he mean by 'things are different?' I try to force my eyes of open but they feel so heavy. I feel like I can't control anything anymore, I hate this! I let out a groan not really sure if it actually came out. Then I feel a soft hand slip in mine and a shock rips down my spine. It's Niall. I could just tell by the way his touch made me feel.

"Shh, Baby I'm here. Zayn baby if you're away the doctors say you need to wake up soon or they are going to start to worry, please baby wake up. I miss you and I love you." Niall cooed close to my ear. I let out another groan and force my eyes open.  I was shocked that I was successful and could see around me. I looked around at the white room. I heard a faint beeping noise coming somewhere from my left side. I turned my head and saw a blonde boy smiling back at me, his eyes were slightly blood shot and I could see dried tears on his cheeks. I felt my lips turn up into a smile and his face mirrored mine.

"Hi" I say my voice scratchy and sounding like I haven't spoken in a month. A small tear slipped now Niall's cheek and I reached over with my left hand and wiped it away. He leaned in and pressed his lips hard to mine. His lips fit perfectly on mine they started to move in sync with each other when someone cleared their throat. Niall pulled away with a slight blush on his cheeks. I turned to see Louis standing in the doorway.

"Louis didn't I tell you I didn't want, or need you here anymore" Niall snapped sounding very angry at the brown haired boy in the doorway. Louis bit his bottom lip then nodded and turned to go, his hands deep in his pockets.

"Wait" My scratchy voice squeaked out causing Louis to stop dead in his tracks and turn to me. His face looked broken and I could see tears brimming on the edges of his eyes. I motioned for him to come closer to me and he obeyed walking cautiously towards the bottom of my bed. I could feel Niall's grip on my hand get tighter when Louis reached the bottom of my bed. I squeezed Niall's hand back and look up at him. His face is expressionless.

"Louis, would you mind telling me why you are causing Niall such stress? I overheard a conversation from earlier where Niall mentioned that ' things have changed' could you please inform me as to what things have changed?" I say harshly. He looks scared at my question and he gulps.

"Zayn don-" I cut Niall off by pressing my finger to his lips. Niall lets out a quiet groan and removes my hand from his lips. Lacing his fingers with mine tightly. I motion to Louis to continue. Louis fidgets and rocks back and forth on his heels. He cleared his throat and opened his mouth then closed it.

"Well... I may have told him something that he was worried about but it doesn't matter anymore. I'm leaving now. You two have a nice life." He says, his words getting harsh at the end. I furrow my eyebrows and look from Louis to Niall confusion covering my face.

"What is that?" I asked forcing Louis to look away from Niall. His eyes looked at him with wanting and sadness. That's when everything clicked. Why Louis is here, why he wanted to talk to Niall. He loves him, and I'm in the way.

***

-Niall's POV-

I wake up on my very comfortable hotel mattress and turn over to find a tan boy with dark brown hair still fast asleep next to me. He has been out of the hospital for a week now. The doctor wouldn't tell me what happened to him. All they told me was he had lost a lot of blood and had gone unconscious. I tried to get him to tell me what had happened to him, but he's been acting very distant since he has talked to Louis. I don't understand, Louis didn't tell him anything that could lead to him not loving me anymore did he? I racked over my brain trying to come up with reasons as to why he has been so distant. I feel the bed move and I turn to see dark brown eyes looking into mine. He has a small smile on his face.

"What were you thinking about? You had a worried look on your face." Zayn's soothing voice spoke softly. I let out a sigh and wrapped my arms around his waist. His body stiffened under me. I leaned my forehead on his.

"You know I love you right?" I say closing my eyes, to scared to see his emotions.

"Yes."

"I only love you, no one else. No one can ever change that." I say opening my eyes to see Zayn his expression was hard and cold. He pulled away from me and got up and went to the kitchen. I groaned and rolled over onto my back. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes, what had I done? He hates me. I roll out of bed slipping on some track pants and walking out to the kitchen. I could smell eggs cooking. I look at the stove to see Zayn cooking. I walk up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist. He shakes slightly, I look around him to his face and I see tears falling down. I turn him around quickly to wrap him in a big hug. He cries into my shoulder. I turn off the stove and pull him back into the bedroom.

"Zayn baby, what's wrong." I say pulling him onto the bed into my lap. He cried more curling up in my lap like a child. I let him cry it out for a few minutes. Once his sobs turned to sniffles I leaned down and kissed his forehead.

"Baby, tell me what made you upset. Was it something I said or did?" I asked feeling slightly worried I did something wrong.

"No, it's just that I hate being the thing that keeps you from Louis" Zayn admits starting another few minutes of crying. I let him cry it out before I answered him. I thought over my answer before I spoke.

"Zayn Malik, I love you and only you. I have no feelings towards Louis. He isn't what I want, I only want you. I can't think of living without you anymore." I said looking straight into his watery eyes. He nodded slightly and I leaned down to kiss him. He kissed me back with passion, our lips fitting together perfectly. He let out a slight moan and I took the chance to stick my tongue in his mouth. he pushed us over and was laying on top of me. He parted our lips and looked down into my eyes.

"Marry me?" Zayn asked eyes still slightly watering.