Falling for the Broken

23: Letting Go

"Hold your heart into this darkness. Will it ever be the light to shine you out? Or fail and leave you stranded? I ain't gonna be the one left standing. You ain't gonna be the one left standing." -My Chemical Romance

George/Darren committed suicide 4 days later.

I didn't ask how or why. They told me over the phone and I hung up after thanking them for telling me. I never got to find out why he did what he did. I wanted to know why he lied about his name. I wanted to know why he stopped talking to me when we were young teens. I wanted to know- God I just wanted to know everything. But I never would. Because he was dead.

I didn't cry which surprised me; I usually cried at everything. I just laid down on my bed, staring at the ceiling for the majority of the night. I don't know what I was thinking, but I was deep in thought. My mind was seriously messed up and I suppose staring at a ceiling for several hours somehow managed to sort things out into place in my mind. My head was still messed up, but it was an organised mess. I could cope with it.

Tommy was doing well. He was no longer in hospital but his abdomen was still very delicate. Although, when I saw him walking around the apartment, I couldn't even tell he'd taken a gun shot only two weeks ago.

As for Lindsy, George lied about not hurting her. Nothing severe, physically, yet I knew it would scar her forever mentally. She called me a few days after the incident to apologise for everything and explain it all. I forgave her in a heartbeat; none of this was her fault.

I called Spencer too, he was so relieved to hear my voice. It was strange since we barely knew each other, but he basically saved my life. They all did. Lindsy, Spencer, Aaron, Tommy, Olivia. Without them, I'd be dead.

2 weeks had passed and the summer holidays were slowly but surely coming to a close which meant my three roommates would soon be clouded with work from university once again. I'd lost my job at the art store since I failed to show up on multiple occasions through no fault of my own. I guess it was just another bump in the road. It did mean that I'd go back to being alone in the apartment for hours each day whilst everyone was studying. I guess it wouldn't be so bad. I could have some peace and quiet while I did some artwork.

My mind was still conflicted about Aaron. I liked him. A lot. And he was giving me all the space I needed which I was grateful for. We'd barely talked since the day he took me to see Tommy at the hospital (the day after the 'kidnapping'). Two weeks and we'd only spoke approximately 10 words to each other. I thought it would help me make up my mind but, if anything, it just made me more confused.

I suppose I knew deep down what to do, but I just didn't want to admit it to myself. I was cursed: broken. I wasn't made for loving anyone or for anyone loving me. I was toxic. I'd end up hurting the both of us. Aaron deserved much more than that. Plus, he was a good looking, funny, caring person, so he'd surely find someone more suited to him.

Sighing, I walked out of my room and stalked towards the kitchen. My eyes were trained on the ground as I moved, causing me to bump into a hard chest. Immediately, I looked up and my eyes met his. His eyes were so fucking beautiful. He was so fucking beautiful. Why did I have to be so messed up?

"S-sorry." I stuttered. Why the hell was a stuttering? It was Aaron! Sure he was a delicious, god-like, gorgeous specimen of male but gosh, he was just another annoying boy.

A caring, annoying boy who may have stolen my heart...

"It's fine." He replied and I continued walking before he caught my wrist, spinning me around. "Wait. No it's not. It's not fine."

I looked at him, confusion evident on my face.

"Grow up, I hardly touched you." I answered with a hint of sass, trying to ignore the fact that his hand was still wrapped around my wrist thus causing my heart to thud in my chest.