~Loosing Myself.~

~Chapter 6~

'Justin someone from school could be here.' I point out, walking into the restaraunt with him.

'Yeah well there's not. Relax babe.' He laughs, walking me over to a little booth in the corner.

'This is so weird.' I comment taking the menu in my hands.

'What is?'

'Us.' I mumble.

'Yeah it is, but I like it.'

I laugh and he laughs with me, until a waitress comes over.

'Hi what can i get you?' She asks, looking down at her notebook.

'Maple syrup pancakes and babe?'

I look up at justin and the waiter.

'I'll have the chocolate chip, please.' I smile.

She nods her head and leaves, and justin takes my hand from across the table.

'You excited for this party tonight?' He asks me, looking back and forth into my eyes.

'Honestly I'm not bothered about it.' I admit.

'Really?'

'Yeah I mean I'm going with Zack. He's gonna be a pain in the ass.'

Justin scoffs and thumbs my hand.

'Yeah well I'll find a way to see you in the night.'

'Please do, or I'll die.'

We laugh and the waitress comes back over, setting our plates infront of us, we thank her and watch her walk away.

'What's the fame like?' I hesitantly ask, cutting a bite off from my pancake and popping it in my mouth.

'Tiring and a lot of work.' He simply says, taking a piece of his own pancake.

I look up to him, practically begging him to explain.

'At the start I was young you know? Nobody took me too seriously. Or thought I'd stick around for that long.' He shrugs, eating another bite. 'But things started getting really hard when I was turning sixteen, I had my first real serious relationship with a girl who was famous.'

He looks up at me.

'Selena?' I ask, taking a bite.

He nods his head and gulps.

'Yeah, anyway- the paparazzi just wanted involved in it as best as they could, wanted every single detail of my personal life. And a month before my 17th birthday I drank, and it was almost as if it was a release. I didn't feel the stress anymore y'know? Selena got pissed at me for when I admitted it to her and it was almost like I couldn't talk to her. The stress was.. Overpowering. She never listened, and after we seemed so real and true, she started fights in public for nothing. No reason just randomly stormed out, letting the paparazzi get all the pictures they needed. By this stage we both knew it wasn't working anymore. So I called it off one night, I was crying at another stupid fight she started and I had enough. She got pissed and I've not talked to her since'

He looks back down at his plate and a sickening feeling came in my stomach. Did he still love her?

'After that the paparazzi got worse. More violent, and I was missing home like crazy, I was hurting because the one person who knew exactly what I was going through broke, left. I lost myself, I started going to clubs, drinking. Addicted to the feeling, got myself involved with the wrong people, blew off my old friends. Became a jerk to my mom, scooter, the people who helped me get here. I lost it, all.'