Author Games: The Last Cannon

TASK EIGHT: Scores

For this task I wanted you to mark your stories completely without the judgement I have on your character already. To do this, I asked you to create new ones and show me their perspective. Your actual ability to write and be creative through interpretation played the largest part in this task.

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THE NOTES

WARNING: Notes are more on the harsh side as I wouldn't want to give away who gets the byes... I've been scraping the barrel, honestly - I was impressed and had to hate on you all for the sake of making some peoples notes the same size as others :')

District 1 Female - COSMO CAVALLI [1]

Your writing this task was a perfect combination of being well displayed and easy to read. At times it did seem overreaching as the scenario was a lot more basic than your writing was letting on. In terms of relation to the song, occasionally it matched up but slipped toward the end. Knowing what you could do, and knowing the song well, I was hoping for just a little bit more of the fun side. Although disappointed only in that sense, the quality was definitely up to scratch.

District 1 Male - CASTIEL LYONS

I think it's fair to say you more than proved your place here in this Semi-final with that entry. You handled unstable themes with perfection and your exploration of character was remarkable. In terms of relating it to the song, I enjoyed how you approached it and how you made the connections. Criticisms for you include taking on more than you were able to write solidly, because of this, the technique of the writing itself lacked in major areas and it became difficult to commit to reading.

District 2 Female - VALERIA THRACIUS [3]

You took a large gamble with the switching, and it paid off. The writing presented no issue at all and the structure was least affected by it. However, your characters seemed to know far too much. You ended up telling us everything instead of showing us. In your entry, it seems everyone already knows what mistakes they are making and how they are appearing to other characters, which doesn't bode well with your style of writing. It was also just a bit disappointing to see nearly everything about the entry revolved around Valeria. While it works for the writing, it would have been refreshing to see the parents standing on their own two feet.

District 3 Female - MIA CIRCUIT

This letter allowed you to perfectly and clearly answer the task. You presented the character nicely and allowed myself as a reader to empathise with both Mia and Packard. But simply because it was a letter, compared to the others, it lacked imagination. In future, you should adapt to the theme of panem a little bit more, you seem to set it a little too comfortably around the aesthetic of our own world, so I think you could of adapted it to Panem world a bit more. High schools and beer pongs would be a little different in the Hunger Games, I think. The song fitted perfectly, and your adaptation was solid. 

butalsothequotefrombestexoticmarigoldhotelmademylifesothankyou

District 4 Female - REN PELAGIA [9]

You worked the letter format very differently but still just as well; it was a lot more poetic than personal. Perhaps because of this, a problem I noticed was that the letter wasn't as genuine as it should of been. It appeared that you were writing to the reader than to the character itself (saying things that Ren clearly knows already). In relation to your song, I liked that your style was similar, though there isn't much there for interpretation. 

District 4 Female - NAERISSA MERIDIAN

This entry was an excellent display of characterisation and your own writing abilities. The writing clearly matched styles with the Mother, and you explored some great thoughts. Although yes, your entry related to the lyrics very well, it would have been nice to see you find a song that could mould around your style. But your reasoning explained this. Again like in another writers entry, it would have been nice to see an exploration of the mother herself without the weight of Naerissa. 

District 4 Male - SAMUS KUMAMOTO

This was an incredibly original response to my task and showed flare in comparison to the rest. Without the concept, the entry itself was perhaps contrived and a typically easy read. You did well to set up the affect of the games and I enjoyed the thought behind it all. It was a lot more held together than the previous entry. In relation to the song, yes it definitely worked. But I feel like it would have also worked for a thousand other songs.