Goodbye. {Shawn Mendes Fanfic}

I'm Here

I've been staying at Shawn's house for the past few days and everything was going well. I've only been to school to pick up work for classes and handing them in by the deadline that the teachers have given me. The principle told all my teachers about what I was planning on doing and they all accepted. Since this was our senior year I did want to do some senior activities like go to prom. But I don't know if I'm going to prom, everyone hates me and I don't want to ruin everyone else's prom.

I was sitting on the couch with Shawn when the door bell rang. "Can you get the door?" Shawn asked and I agreed. I opened the door and saw eight guys standing there. "Eww why are you here?" Cameron says before pushing past me. "Shawn why is she here?" Cameron asks Shawn. "Her parents are out of town again and she's staying here." Shawn says while the guys take a seat. "Her parents don't even care enough about her to take her with them. Damn that's sad." Taylor says while laughing. "I'm just going to go upstairs." I whisper loud enough so they can hear."Nobody cares just go." Carter says while rolling his eyes. I walk up to the guest bedroom (where I'm technically suppose to be sleeping) and lock the door.

I groan loudly and I flopped onto the bed. I decided to go on twitter and looked at my mentions, there was more rumors being spread about why I wasn't in school anymore. There was also a bunch of hate like always. I'm tired of crying over stupid stuff like this.

Soon there was a knock on the door followed by the voice of Aaliyah. "It's only me. Shawn sent me." She says and I walk over to the door and unlock it. Aaliyah walked in and sat on my bed. "You don't have to stay." I say laying on the bed. "Shawn texted me and told me to check on you." Aaliyah says a little concerned. "I'm fine but you can stay if you want." I say and we sit in a semi awkward silence. "Do you want to go out? We can go to Tim Hortons or to the frozen yogurt shop." Aaliyah suggests and I agree. I put on a pair of white converse and put my hair in a messy bun.

We couldn't decide on where we wanted to go so we just went to both places. At Tim Hortons I got two muffins for later, one for me and the other for Shawn. After going to Tim Hortons Aaliyah and I walked to the frozen yogurt shop and brought some yogurt. We both got Vanilla with multiple fruits and berries on top. Aaliyah and I were having lots of fun together. She was telling me about a guy that she thought was cute in her grade, I found it funny how she swooned over the guy. "So how are you and Shawn?" Aaliyah asked. "We're okay I guess. I definitely love him but it seems as if he shows less interest in me since we had that break." I say taking a bite of the frozen yogurt. "I don't know why, he just seems so distant." I sigh as we continue to stroll down the street.

We soon get back to the house and the guys were all sitting in the living room. "Oh look the fat ass bitch is back." Taylor snorts. "You look like a pig, you should really stop eating. You can lose a few pounds, it wouldn't hurt." Jack Gilinsky laughed. "Leave her alone!" Aaliyah says sticking up for me. "Why should we?" Johnson asks. "She's an ugly prostitute. She probably has an STD from all those guys that paid her to sleep with them." Johnson adds. "Wait aren't you pregnant?" Matt asks with a smirk on his face. I was humiliated and I honestly just wanted to throw up this frozen yogurt, Gilinsky was right I could manage to lose a few more pounds. "What's wrong? You don't know who the dad is?" Matt asked and I rushed upstairs. "BYE WHORE!" I heard Carter yell out as I ran upstairs.

"Stop running you're causing an earthquake!" Gilinsky yelled out.

I slammed the bedroom door shut and locked it. I began pacing around the room with my hands on my head as tears rushed down my face.

I hate myself, I hate everything about myself.

I'm not perfect like I should be.

I have scars.

I'm not pretty, or skinny.

I'm a depressed loser who should just die.

I'm a worthless piece of shit that no one cares about.

I looked at the bathroom door and walked inside closing the door behind me making sure it was locked. I kept thinking about everything the guys have said to me today, it was playing in my head over and over again like a broken record. There on the sink I saw the razor and slowly reached for it. I took the cold metal in my hand and slowly made a few slices along my wrist, each cut a breath of relief was released. Blood was seeping out of the cuts made by the metal razor.

I just sat on the cold bathroom floor crying, wishing I was dead. I started to feel as if I needed to throw up everything I've eaten today. I want to be skinny. Soon the door to the bathroom opened and I looked up to see Shawn and Aaliyah standing in the doorway.

Seeing them looking at me the way they are now with guilt and sorrow in their eyes only wanted to make me cry even harder. "I'm so sorry." I cried. "I'm such a fuck up." The tears were running down my face faster than ever. I don't like when people see me break. "Santana babe you're not a fuck up okay? Don't talk about yourself like that." Shawn says moving closer to me but I look away ashamed that both Aaliyah and Shawn had to see me like this. Shawn picked me up bridal style and carried me to the bed. "I'm not going to leave you." Shawn says laying in bed next to me. "Feel better?" Aaliyah says not knowing exactly what to say. She waves goodbye before exiting the room closing the door behind her.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" Shawn asked concerned. "I don't want to talk about it." I say while lifting up Shawn's arm and wrapping it around me so I could cuddle with him. "Just know I'm here." Shawn says and I nod. Shawn kisses my forehead and quietly sings Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran.

"Settle down with me
And I'll be your safety
You'll be my lady
I was made to keep your body warm
But I'm cold as the wind blows so hold me in your arms"

I was slowly drifting off to sleep as Shawn held me in his muscular arms slightly rocking us back and forth while still quietly singing Kiss Me. "I'm in love With you Chipmunk." He says and lightly pecked my lips as I began to fall asleep. "I'm in love with too Shawnie." He smiled at me before I was officially asleep.