Once Upon A Surf

Chapter Ten

In my dream, I was surfing.

    The ocean seemed more gorgeous than ever before, and I was flying, the cawing of seagulls in the background like music to my ears.  I grinned, crouching as the wave formed a tube, and stuck my hand out to let it knife through the liquid wall.

    I had just burst out of the wave when I saw him.

    "Dad?" I mouthed, losing concentration for a split second and tumbling off the board, crash landing into a coral reef.  I came up out of the water sputtering and cursing, my arms burning from cuts.  I scrambled to my feet, glancing around the shore.

    "Dad?" I called out.

    "Lindsey," I heard his voice, filled with worry, with pain.  "Lindsey, where are you?"

    "I'm right here, I-" I stumbled forward, my eyes frantically searching the area.  "Dad, I'm coming, I-"

    "Lindsey!" Dad's voice was getting further and further away and I couldn't breathe as I kept running, running, running-

    "Dad!" I jolted awake, my heart slamming in my chest.  I blinked, my body trembling as my eyes adjusted to the dark room.

    "Lindsey!"

    My eyes widened and I leapt out of bed, my heart racing.  I ran through the doorway, my bare feet slapping on the cold wooden floor, pressure building in my chest.  I heard his voice again and flew around the corner, stumbling into the living room before skidding to a stop.

    "Lindsey!  There you are!" Dad's voice turned happy as I surfaced out of the water, a grin on my face.  In the video.

    It was all a damn video.

    I clamped my hand over my mouth, furious tears leaking from my eyes.  Donna was sitting on the couch, dabbing at her eyes every so often, completely oblivious to my presence.  I leaned against the wall, sliding down to the floor, my shoulders shaking with silent sobs.

    My father was dead.

    Every so often the pain came rushing back, raw and burning, consuming every part of me.  Things like this, things that triggered it, were addicting-watching videos, hearing his voice.  I felt stupid for believing he was actually here, and it hurt more than anything, made the pain all the more real.  There was only one way to solve it.

    I needed to surf.

    I clambered to my feet, rushing to my room, wiping frantically at my eyes.  I couldn't stop crying, no matter how hard I tried, and couldn't seem to suck in enough air.  Surfing would clear my mind, would free me from all of this.  It was only three thirty in the morning yet I was wide awake, fully aware of how ridiculous this was.

    I was shaking as I got dressed, my head pounding, the tears refusing to stop.  I had to be careful, because if Donna found out I was sneaking out at this hour I was sure to be in trouble.  I grabbed my keys off my desk and slipped out into the hallway, silently moving past the living room.  Donna was no longer there, the TV switched off, and I assumed she had gone to bed.

    The drive to the beach only took minutes.  I frowned as I pulled into the parking lot, squinting out at the rising sun.  The waves were enormous; for most people they would have been terrifying, but this is what surfers lived for.  I got out of the car, shutting the door behind me and grabbing my board.

    The second I hit the water, everything disappeared.

    I was there for hours, catching wave after wave, at first just enjoying it.  Soon, I was working on my 360 spin, though I couldn't manage to land it.  I wasn't getting enough air, I wasn't spinning fast enough, I wasn't starting the flip soon enough.  Everything was going wrong.