To Break Walls

Chapter 20 Jack's POV

I'm not exactly sure what I did. Everything was melting. The snow on the trees falling throughout the entire forest. There was nothing to do. Nothing I could do. I attempted to put them back like that, try to save the snow and ice. But my abilities were not that powerful. I could not sustain the winter weather.

The world just kept dripping, water streaming. Kind of like blood from a wound.

I don't think I ever really knew how much a person could hurt. I thought that being invisible, being unheard was an ache in my chest. This was so much more than an ache. The pain consumed my every step, my every breath. To stop moving, to stop breathing, I wished that would relieve the pain. But it didn't. I would've torn my heart out of my chest if this would end. But it wouldn't.

I don't know how long I cried. I've never cried before. I might have been choked up with frustration, but I've never known an emotion as strong as pain. No, I have. Love. But in the end, weren't love and pain the same? A double-edged sword.

I screamed and cursed. I don't know who at. Maybe it was at Hans for killing her. Maybe it was at myself for not being able to do anything about it.

Hours had passed but it felt like days. I could not feel anything but the pain in my chest.

How could this happen? Why did it have to happen to Elsa? She didn't deserve this. We were supposed to be together.

Sometime later, I was finally quiet. My voice was hoarse and the corners of my eyes were raw from the salty tears that had been continuously flowing out of them.

I was lying face-up in a tree. Once everything had melted, the ground had become a soggy mess. It was too saturated to sit on. I just stared up, tears blurring my vision. In a few second interval I realized what I was seeing. I was staring up at the Man in the Moon. Anger rushed through me, but I was too exhausted and too miserable to do anything about it.

"How could you do this?" I whispered, tears steaming down my temples.

He didn't respond.

"Oh, okay, so you're ignoring me, as always," I sat up, facing the trunk of the tree. I lightly touched my rod to the trunk, which had already thawed. Frost appeared in the shape of Elsa's castle.

I'd already gone back earlier in the evening, to just be near something that belonged to her, and I had found that it was the only thing that wasn't melting. It stayed intact, but it no longer held its appeal. Without Elsa, the castle had lost its luster. The room that Elsa had been knocked unconscious just reminded me that I was useless in that situation as well.

"I'm so sorry, Jack."

I was almost taken by surprise that he could even speak. So he could hear me.

"So finally, after all this time, you speak up," I said, laying back down and looking up at the Moon again.

"I'm so sorry," he said again.

"Yeah, well, you've made that clear," I growled, glaring upwards. I didn't want his apologies. How dare he apologize after all these years?

The Man on the Moon didn't say anything else, so I continued to glare into the sky. Angry tears fell from my eyes now. She was gone. The only girl who could see me was gone. The only girl who I had ever loved was gone. I had been helpless to stop it.

I would never die. Ever. The thought had been playing over and over in my mind.

"Sometimes, I just want to give up," I said brokenly, "Just die already, after ninety-six years of this, just... Die. Could you do that? Please. That's all I'm asking. I don't want to live like this anymore."

I looked up at the Man in the Moon again and I could have sworn I saw a teardrop leave his eye.

That was a long time ago. Two hundred years had passed and now I was a Guardian.

I wasn't sure how I managed to smile or throw a snowball, but I did. I had recovered. I tried to sleep a lot of the time, but I could only escape a couple of hours at a time, and sometimes not at all. So I would mostly just lay there, miserable, wishing that I could escape my grief.

The pain was still there. I would think of Elsa when the sun was setting. When everything was quiet, or when there was nowhere I needed to be. I knew that the pain would never leave me entirely, but for the longest time I was crippled. I wasn't Jack Frost.

I don't know when I actually started being Jack Frost again. It must have happened sometime.

Two hundred years later, and now people saw me. Kids saw me, they could hear me. I gave them snow days and we had snowball fights. After all these years, I was believed in.

I had a place among the Guardians. We protected children all around the world, keeping hopes, dreams, wonder, and fun alive in all of them. Sheltering them from the fear and darkness that lurked around.

I had had interaction with some before, such as Bunny. But I wouldn't allow myself much interaction. I didn't want it. Besides, they didn't do anything anyway.

That was before I knew them. Now, I had a different perspective on the whole Guardian business.

Sure, I was still Jack Frost. Good times and snow fights. But overall, I had improved for the better. I wouldn't admit it in front of the others, but I needed them. After years of being alone, I needed them. They were my friends. Not that I'd tell that to Bunny. We were cool with each other, but at the same time, he was incredibly stiff. And fun to mess with.

I was still myself. Just better. I had not felt this fulfilled since I was with Elsa. I had built something for myself. This time I was determined not to let it slip through my fingers. I would do everything in my power to protect it.

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So in the next real chapter, we get to modern times (Guardians, Pitch, etc.)  Next chapter is the interlude.