To Break Walls

Chapter 13 Jack's POV

So this is basically just Chapter 12 but from Jack's POV.  Do you guys like these author's notes?  I might stop for a bit.  I think that I'm only going to post up until Chapter 21, and then I'll post more tomorrow because I'm beat and I don't think I can do much more haha.  

Love you all!  Thanks for reading :)

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"I need to ask you something," Elsa said suddenly.

I had just told her that I already knew she was Queen. She had instantly seemed worried but when I reassured her that it didn't matter to me, she seemed relieved. I wondered what she needed to ask me.

"What is it?" I asked. She looked nervous and embarrassed at the same time. Her eyes flitted around until resting on me.

"Are you sure that you're not going to leave?" she asked, hesitation coloring her tone. I looked at her, trying to see why she would ask me this again. I couldn't decipher anything in her eyes. Was it a trick question? I couldn't see how it could be though.

"Are you sure that you don't want me to?"

"I would like it very much if you stayed," she responded, her cheeks reddening slightly.

"Then I don't understand why you would ask me if I was leaving," I said, perplexed. "I thought that I'd made it clear that I had the intention of staying here with you."

"I was just giving you the chance to leave," she said quietly, looking down at her feet.

I sighed and moved closer to her. There were a couple inches of space between us.

"Elsa, would you please stop trying to push me away?" I asked softly. She looked back up at me for a split moment and then back down at her feet.

"I can't make any promises, even though I don't want to be alone."

"I wouldn't hurt you." Maybe she thought I would, for some crazy unseen reason.

"I'm not worried that you will. I'm worried I'll hurt you."

"Then stop worrying." I told her patiently.

"It's a habit."

"I don't like it. If we're ever going to have any fun, I'll have to break it. Otherwise I'll win against you every time," I said lightly.

"I might have to be okay with that," she replied. She tried a smile but it looked forced and it slipped away after only a second. She looked back down. Why did she keep looking at her feet? I looked down at mine. Hm. I looked back at Elsa but she was avoiding my gaze.

"Hey," I said. I took my finger and put it underneath her chin, lifting it up so that she would meet my eyes. I gave her a small smile of reassurance, but she continued to look unhappy. I dropped my hand down to her arm, trying to make sure she stayed there.

"I don't know how you went through all that alone," I told her softly. "But I realized something. I was wrong. You're much stronger and much more beautiful than I had realized. But you have to realize for yourself that it's all okay now. You don't have to be afraid anymore."

"I'm not now, not as much as I was anyway. But after Anna, I wasn't close with anyone. Now I have you and I'm afraid of messing that up," she admitted quietly.

It was almost like her words had reflected my thoughts exactly, the last sentence anyway.

"So am I," I whispered. "But I have to try to get over the fear, too."

I watched her while I felt for her hand with my free hand. I found it and slowly raised it, entwining my fingers with hers. She looked at our hands and then back at me, her eyes flickering.

I moved a little bit closer to her, just a little bit. I was giving her time to stop this. She made no attempt to do so.

We were only a few centimeters apart now and my fingers put pressure against her hand. Hers tightened and I saw her eyes dilate, her lips part to let out a breath. Her eyes fluttered and closed slightly. I felt my heart pounding, I was positive that she could feel it as close as we were. I closed my eyes and kissed her.

I lightly touched my lips to hers, just the slightest touch. Then I moved closer, kissing her more fully.

I'm not sure exactly what I was doing. My hand went to her waist, pulling her closer to me. There was barely space between us, but I needed to pull her closer.

I pulled back slightly and opened my eyes, looking at her. Hers were still closed and her hand gripped mine more tightly, stronger than I would've thought for such tiny hands.

Elsa. My brain was muddled; my only coherent thought was her. I felt her name escape my lips, and I kissed her again, deeper than before. I could feel her lips moving with mine, slowly. I felt pressure on the back of my neck, through my hair and with a jolt realized that it was her hand.

I dropped her hand and wrapped it around her, holding her tighter against me. Her hand joined the other one and brought my head closer to her.

All I could feel was her. I wanted her closer. I wanted more, even though I was holding her as tight as I could. I was almost worried that I was hurting her. The thought stayed with me for a second.

I broke away and rested my head on top of her head, kissing her hair gently. I was breathing hard and I could feel her hands move to my chest, resting there. I kissed her forehead, closed my eyes, and couldn't bring myself to move out of that position.

I felt dizzy. Elated. I couldn't describe the feeling. And to think just a few minutes she thought that I was going to leave her. It was ridiculous.

"What did you say?" Elsa's voice broke through my head, partially inaudible against my chest. I held her tighter and laughed slightly. I hadn't realized I'd been thinking aloud.

"Just wondering how you thought that I could ever leave you," I told her, my voice still a little uneven. She didn't reply.

I don't know how long we stayed that way. It seemed like we could stay that way forever. I didn't want to move, I didn't want to let her go. Deep in my mind, I was scared to admit that I might not get to hold her like this again.

Eventually we did let each other go, but we weren't far from each other the next couple days. It was just me holding her hand or me pecking her cheek. Or her hesitantly saying it was all right for me to hold her while she slept. Her blushing when I kissed her good morning a couple days later. She seemed a little embarrassed but happy at the same time. I took that as a good sign.

I wasn't sure how it had happened but I could hardly stand being away from her at all. Yeah, I let her have her privacy but I wasn't far away. I felt so strongly for her and I couldn't find the words to voice it aloud. Besides, I should probably wait a while, until I was sure that she felt the same. I know she allowed me to hold her hand and even kissed me back but I felt like she was fighting herself about it. I never asked her about it, but that's what I picked up. It didn't bother me. I had a long time and I didn't mind waiting at all.