To Break Walls

Chapter 11 Jack's POV

Ello lovelies!  How are you all?  It is 5:37 where I am at, and I get to sleep in tomorrow and much excitement.  I've been so tired these days.  If it wasn't for a mt. dew earlier, I wouldn't have made it through History class.

QOTD: What's your favorite subject?  Mine is math (weird I know).  Yep.  Total math nerd right here.

Enjoy the reading!  Please leave a comment :)

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"All right, let's talk," I confirmed. "Do you want to go inside or . . .?"

"No," she replied shaking her head. "Right here is fine."

She walked past me and lightly rested her hands on the balcony, gazing at the mountains that stretched out in front of her. She took a deep breath.

"Just take your time," I told her gently, standing beside her. She looked down and bit her lip.

"I was born with my powers," she began slowly. I already knew this, but I didn't interrupt. "But I always felt like they were a curse. I didn't always think that. In fact," she broke off and laughed lightly. "I used to have a lot of fun with them."

I blinked my eyes. I tried to picture a younger Elsa, laughing and making snow. I couldn't picture it, not with this girl who was so afraid of them.

"My sister Anna and I were best friends when we were little. She actually used to know that I had powers, even before the incident."

"I thought that you said that she didn't know," I said, confused. She sighed unhappily.

"Let me explain," she said softly. I hesitated and then nodded.

"We were best friends," she repeated and an expression of sadness crossed her face. "But then we were playing one night and I-" she swallowed -"I accidentally hit her. With my powers, I mean. I was trying to stop her from falling. It hit her and she was so cold. I was scared and then my parents came in. We rode and they took her to the trolls-"

"Trolls?"

"Yes," she replied patiently. "They were able to heal her, but she couldn't know about my powers anymore. No one could. They closed the gates, kept me hidden until I could learn how to control my powers."

"You can't control your powers, not like that. They aren't meant to be hidden," I said. She looked down at her hands.

"I think I know that now," she murmured. "But sometimes I can't help but feel. . . I don't know. Never mind. I'll continue. Anna didn't understand why I didn't want anything to do with her anymore, all she remembered is that we used to be close and then suddenly we weren't."

"Why didn't you ever tell her?"

"To protect her," she answered simply. "I could never live with myself if I ever hurt her. It was for the best. My father gave me these gloves to help control my powers but even then, it would escape in little bursts. Even though I was born with them, soon Father started referring to them as a curse. I think that it made him feel better about the situation. Like I wasn't to blame."

"But you weren't," I argued. She looked at me.

"I wasn't," she agreed. "But I destroyed their chance at a normal life. I know that they loved me, but I felt as though they always thought of how it would be if I wasn't born. They were both scared, even if they didn't admit it to my face. And that made me scared. Then a couple years ago they went on a trip. They never came back. They were lost at sea."

"I'm so sorry, Elsa. . ."

"It's all right," she said thickly. "I just don't like to talk about it."

I felt pity rush through me.

"Are you still scared?" I asked her softly. Her eyes met mine and she slowly shook her head.

"No. Now that there's no one that I can hurt. I mean, I feel more in control of myself now, not having to hide it. I don't have anything left to lose."

"I'm glad you told me."

She fiddled with her hair and lowered her eyes.

"I'm not done yet."

"Oh, sorry," I apologized.

"It's all right. It's just," she stopped and exhaled loudly. "I have to tell you something."

I looked at her expectantly and waited for her to continue. She took a couple of deep breaths and finally said, "I'm Queen of Arendelle. Or at least I was. I don't know if Anna will become the queen now that I've left."

Her eyes filled with worry as she scanned my face and she gnawed on her lip.

"Okay," I said. She looked a little confused.

"I figured you'd react differently to that," she mused. "I guess not."

"Why'd you leave then? I mean if you were Queen. . ."

"Well everything had been going surprisingly smoothly. I had made it through the coronation without messing up, the gates were open, and everyone was talking and laughing, even if it was only for the night. But then Anna came up to me and introduced Prince Hans of the Southern Isles."

Her voice had taken on a bitter tone and her eyes grew sorrowful. I felt a flash of an unrecognizable feeling go through me at the mention of Prince Hans. Jealously?

"Whose Hans?" I asked gruffly.

"Anna had just met him that night," she began slowly. "She had been so excited about opening up the gates, so excited to meet everyone. I was so busy to watching everyone having fun, I hadn't watched Anna. She and Hans were together the rest of the night, going everywhere together." She paused. "She was asking me to bless their engagement."

"They were getting married after a couple hours of knowing each other?" I asked incredulously. She nodded, tight-lipped.

"Naturally I told them no. You just can't marry someone you just met. Its not practical, not realistic. You can't love someone you just met. She was so desperate for love that she latched on to the first person that she connected with."

"Maybe she really thought she was in love," I countered.

"She did. She does, as far as I know. I told her no and then she became desperate. She grabbed my glove and I tried to leave before something could happen. She tried talking to me but I cut her off, saying enough. She became angry and started basically asking me-"

"Asking you what?"

"Asking me why I shut everyone out. Why I shut the world out. Why I was so afraid," she whispered, lowering her head.

Guilt went through me. I'd asked her that just earlier this morning. I doubt she really needed to hear me say it again, not when her sister had already demanded it out of her.

"Did you tell her why?" I asked her even though I knew the answer.

"I lost control. I turned back around and told her to leave it alone. Ice shot out of my fingers, making icy spikes, cutting me off from everyone else in the room. I ran after that. Ran through all the people, everything I touched turning to ice. Then I came here."

"It was for the best," she said resolutely. "Anna can open the gates. She won't be alone anymore. And I'm finally free. I can be who I am."

I didn't say anything. Instead we both looked out to the snow-peaked mountains. I thought about what she'd said earlier, how she thought I'd have reacted differently to her being Queen. But I was glad that she wasn't. Glad that it was just us up here, as selfish as that sounded. We were both free, free to be ourselves. And right now that was all that counted.