Creating Me - Eremin

Chapter 4

a/n: nice long chapter for you guys today! I'm sorry it's been a while since my last update, I haven't had wifi, but I hope this chapter makes up for it.

trigger warnings: Self harm, suicide mentions, bullying, rape mentions

The next day at school was... interesting. I made sure to get there really, really early, so I could avoid a run-in with Levi's gang. I had made sure to wear a sweater with long sleeves so people (Eren, mostly) wouldn't see the damage I'd done to myself. Today, I was luckier than most, and found that nobody from Levi's group of thugs had arrived, and I slipped inside the building with no confrontations.

Obviously, I had some time to myself before the hordes of students started arriving, most likely around half an hour. Given this time alone, I put my things in my locker and wandered for a while, exploring the school more than I had previously. I didn't find much, just a few broom closets, but they were at least places I could go to be by myself.

By the time everyone started arriving, I already had my things for my first class and was sitting at my desk. This was the point that my luck turned. I had my first class of the day with about half of the members of Levi's gang, and they just so happened to be the first students to arrive in the classroom, other than me.

"Great." I mumbled under my breath, as Levi sauntered over to me.

"Hey, fag." He said, smirking down at me.

"Hello, Levi." I said, making eye contact with him.

"You're pretty lucky your little boyfriend was there to save you yesterday." He sneered down at me.

"He's not my boyf-" I started before Levi cut me off.

"Yeah, sure, whatever. The point is, you're not gonna be so lucky today. And if your little boyfriend tries to intervene," Levi cracked his knuckles. "We'll take care of him." I swallowed hard. Even if I'd only met Eren the day before, he was very kind to me, and I cared about him, so I wasn't going to let anything happen to him.

It was at that exact moment that the green-eyed boy himself walked through the door, narrowing his eyes when he saw Levi leaning over me.

"Hey! Get away from him!" He practically shouted as he pushed past Levi's gang toward me. Levi stood up straight and turned around, smiling sickly at Eren.

"Oh, don't worry, Armin and I were just having a little chat." Levi responded shooting me a look that read, if you tell him, I will end you. I just sat there, feeling the blood slowly drain out of my face as Levi walked off and Eren sat next to me.

"Armin? Are you alright?" Eren said softly.

I shot him a fake smile. "Yup, I'm fine. Nothing to worry about." I tried to put emotion behind those words, but apparently they still seemed hollow, as Eren shot me a suspicious look.

"Now, will you tell me what's going on?" He replied quietly. My smile melted off my face.

"Listen, if anything happens to me today, you can't get involved." I muttered back, not making eye contact with him.

"Why the hell not?" he whispered back, somewhat angrily.

I looked over at him and stared at him directly in the eyes. "Just because." I said. "Please, for me."

He sighed and begrudgingly nodded his head. "Fine, but if it starts getting really serious, I'm going to do something."

I nodded in acknowledgment. "Alright, deal." I said, as the teacher walked in, and class began.

{time skip to lunch}

I was huddled on a toilet seat it the boy's restroom, trying to muffle my sobs with the sleeve of my sweatshirt. In the hand that wasn't over my mouth, a razor blade was clutched. I was so done. Just so, so done. I knew that what Levi's gang was going to do to me would meet Eren's expectations of, "really serious," and then he'd get hurt, which would be all my fault, and he's my only friend. I couldn't let that happen. But I would, because I knew I wouldn't be able to stop him or them. I took the hand off of my mouth and rolled up the sleeve, revealing my cuts from last night. I took the blade and dragged it over the cuts, not too many times, not enough to bleed through the gauze I brought.