Dear Nobody

A Message from Aiden

I never knew things could go downhill after that. When we go to our date, she changed. She's not the cheery, happy, and careless girl that I knew. I thought she was just going on a phase since she got into a fight with her bestfriend, but it didn't get any better from there.

She ignore my calls. She didn't read my texts. She use every excuse just to make sure that we won't go to lunch together. Our dates is just awful because she went quiet and she built up her walls. The girl who always open up to me, who always had that amusing laughter, who always smile back at me, who kissed me like her life depending on it, the same girl who I fell in love with was gone. She's not there anymore.

I was sulking, depressed at the situation. I drink at night, I slept only for two hours, I cried everytime I saw her picture or remembered her. I sobbed at my lockscreen, which is the picture of her which I secretly took when she was asleep at my car. My hands trembles everytime I want to cook, because I remembered how much she loved my food even though I cook the simplest thing I could. I was a pathetic guy who cried over a girl-not just a girl, an amazing girl.

My twin, Kristen, is the first person to notice my mood changes. I think it's because of our twin thing that we had, she came first before anyone else. She currently live in Hong Kong, to get her Law Degree. I told her about everything and she said that it was okay. She told me that if I love someone, I need to let her go. She'd eventually comeback, and if she didn't then she was never mine to begin with. What she said was nice but also scary at the same time. Having a possibility of losing Jade is not okay with me. She said that she was sorry, and she offered to stay with me for a while but I declined. She needs to get her Law Degree, not taking care of her heart-broken older brother.

Then, Tom tried to contact me at any time, but I ignore him. He began to leave me messages but I threw my phone away when I heard him asking why am I acting like this. My step-sister was worried sick about me, when she saw me staring into the window pane blankly while drawing black horrid sketches at my sketch book. My professor said that I loose my touches, that my painting is way too gloomy or didn't fit the aspect he's trying to get. He said that he was amazed by my drawing of a girl, of Jade, but he wants more than a picture of a girl.

My mother called me when she got a phone call from Al, about my well being. She said that I should be more open to her, to tell her what's happening, and I did tell her. She said that maybe Jade is scared to take any other step forward, maybe she saw everypath on her life has their own trap, maybe she didn't know what to do. She told me that I need to tell her that I love her, maybe she can figure her way out easier.

She said that maybe I am the only hope for her to fix her problems. I remembered perfectly that I told her she's perfect the way she is, she needs nothing else, especially a wreck like me. My mother response makes my heartmelt. She said that even the most perfect and strongest building in the world, they still need maintenance and support, even if it's the tiniest form of them. I thanked her for being a great mother, but still my heart is still wounded, I'm still lost without her. I'm still lost without Jade.

My brother, River, told me that I should come up to her and tell her. Tell her that I love her, tell her that I need her and she'll understand. He said that he had experienced this before, he said that I was going to be fine. But he's wrong.

I met her on the same exact place we met, Mission Street. She's still beautiful even after eight months. The only thing that changed is her voice. It doesn't sound firm and strong as she was before. She sounded weak, like she can do nothing, like she loose hope. Her brown eyes are shining through her perfect curved lashes, but not as shiny as before. She looked at me like she saw a ghost, and to be honest I would do the same since my pasty face are quiet contrast with my dark circles.