A Love Letter for Nobody

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[A/N UPDATED 2019 | DO NOT SKIP PLEASE, THANK YOU]

Hello new readers! For some reason Wattpad's algorithm has been promoting this book to new users, and so I feel like I need to say a few words.

Thank you for checking out this book. There are millions of much better works out there, but you've decided to settle for this one and that's really great. I just want to say that this book was written when I was on 8th grade. If you find it good, that's great but if you find this book bad, I wouldn't blame you. It is kind of bad and cringey. So just a head's up on that.

Although, if you're interested in reading my books, I'd highly suggest reading my newest one, Purgatory. I shamelessly and personally think it's far and much better than this one. It's a werewolf book, but I'm not planning on dwelling on that aspect, really. I think you can enjoy that book much much better, so please give it a try.

With that being said, I hope you'll enjoy your reading journey. Please give me feedback, both negative and positive, especially about this book. Perhaps I will rewrite it in the future.

Until we meet again,
Vee.
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A Love Letter for Nobody

Pretending.

That's what I always did.

I pretended that I love the fact that my family decided to move. I pretended that I'd like to be the perfect daughter. I pretended that I was fine with who I am right now. I pretended that I didn't feel alone being by myself. I pretended that I love the idea of studying medicine, even if I didn't have any passion in that subject. I pretended that everything was fine when it wasn't. I pretended that my family isn't a catastrophy in front of the world. I pretended that I was great in front of everybody. I pretend this and I pretend that.

The thing is, I'm tired of that.

But what can I do ? I want to keep it real in the real life, but nobody's listening. I want to be myself in real life, but the world doesn't want the real me. I want to be who I am, because I'm tired of pretending, but I guess the world prefer the Self Independent Veronica rather than Veronica herself.

Believe me, I've tried.

When I'm trying to show the world who's the real me, my entire life collapsed. My parents said that I was disappointing, my friend looked at me as if I was crazy and all that I can do is just locked myself in my bedroom. At that point I decided that I need to be that Veronica, if I want my life back. So I did. And yes, my life came back to me just like an old friend.

And I pretend that everything was back to normal, but the thing is; it doesn't. I'm not the same person as I used to be. My mind said that I need to make people happy by who I am, and I need to put myself together so that my life won't collapse again for the second time but my self concious trying to break free.

There are times in my life when I broke down. No, I've never told anyone about this, and everytime I feel it coming, I locked myself inside my bedroom. Now, everytime I made a decision, it feels like I've got an earthquake inside my body. My mind and my self-conscious are fighting for what they want. And when I finally made a decision, I started to teared up, since usually my mind wins. I'd never thought that one single decision in my life could the world a better place, but also shattered myself.

But the world keeps spinning round and round, so I need to move forward. I need to face my problems and everything as well as making progress with my life. Life is like a tire, it keeps rolling round and round, and it never stopped. If I stopped just for a second, maybe I won't be on the top of the tire. But the thing is, I've never really have the feeling of being on top of the tire.

I know I love being by myself. I've had several relationships before, and I ended up all of them since they're not helping. All they want is to hold hands, flirt, go on dates, or make out. None of them knew what I felt. None of them understand. I've been searching for someone who'll pull me close and hugged me when I had my break down, who'll listen to what I said, who'll gave me his jacket when he knew that I'm cold, and someone who'll go through this together with me no matter what. But I've got none. I gave up. I'm not searching for you now. But I hope I could finally meet that 'nobody' one day, and if I did I won't let go of him.

Somewhere in the future. I hope.

So, Dear Nobody, this is a message for you when I finally found you.

First of all, wow. You haven't show up in a quiet long time. Maybe the reason is that I'm no longer searching for you. But I believe that you'll came no matter what. I hope so, because if you don't then I don't know what to do with my life.

Dear Nobody, I hope that we can be together for a long time. I hope that we still get that 'young love' even if all of our hair turn into grey.

I hope that you're going to help me pass through all of the obstacles that life has given me, because I would be by your side through tough times, it's the least that I can do. I know I'm not perfect, but you're the only one who can make me whole again. I knew that, and I believe that.

Dear Nobody, I hope when you finally came for me, you'll definitely worth it because if you're not, I don't know what else to do with my life.

And all I can do is just wait now, because I know you're going to come for me, Dear Nobody.

Veronica F. Joanne.
1984

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