Working for Him...

Chap.20

That night I go home feeling overwhelmed with emotions. I was confused, scared and lost.

The meeting was successful; Marc and Mrs Wright finalised the deal by the end of the night. Marc was thrilled, so thrilled that he insisted on dropping me home. But for some reason, I didn't want to go home, because I knew I was going to have to face Kashif.

I enter the house and it is so quite you'd think it was empty. I slide the shoes off and head straight to the bedroom. "Kashif?" I flick the lights on to find an empty room.

Taking my coat and hijab off, I call out for Kashif once again before heading downstairs. I find him in the kitchen; he is sitting on the table with his head hung low and a cigarette in his hand. When I look around the kitchen I am startled to find broken glass on the floor.

"Kashif, what happened?" I approach him carefully, trying not to step on glass. He looks up at me, his eyes bloodshot. "Are you okay?"

"Honestly? No, I'm not."

"What happened?" I try to take the cigarette out of his hand but he places it in his mouth. "What's going on? Why are you being like this?"

He gets up and tries to leave but I grab his arm, "don't walk away from me when I'm trying to talk to you."

"Well what am I supposed to do!" he yells in my face, scaring the crap out of me. But I keep my cool. "Please tell me because I have never in my life been as confused as I have been living with you."

I blink. "What?"

"Smoking cigarettes used to feel so amazing, relaxing but do you know how it feels now? Irritating, disgusting. I've been trying to figure out why for time now but it's finally clear to me that it's because of you. You are doing this to me. I used to drink alcohol and love it. But now, I feel... that girl that was here before, she's the one I wanted to marry. I thought I loved her but now I know what love is and what she and I had wasn't love..."

"What?"

"I know we agreed that this would be temporary but I can't keep doing this. I have feelings for you, feelings that I've never felt about anyone before..."

"I'm going to need you to stop right there, okay? How do you go from accusing me of sleeping with my boss to having so-called feelings for me?" I hear my voice rise as I speak. "And then you want to tell me that you're confused, how do you think I feel?"

"Look, I didn't mean that, I know you would never do that, not to me, not to anybody."

"Then why did you say it?"

"Well, Jamal said a couple of things and they really got to me."

"And why would you believe Jamal?" my voice trails off as I finish my question because it hits me what we were saying.

"Because you're never frickin' here. Isra?" I rush to get my shoes and Kashif's hoodie on as I exit the house. I call Jamal as fast as I can.

He picks up after the third ring; I can almost feel the smug smile on his face as he speaks, "Jamal here, how can I help you?"

"I want to meet you," I quickly cross the road, hugging the hoodie, "right now."

He chuckles, "I thought you might want to, I'm parked outside the park."

I don't say anything else; he knows I'll be going there. I hang up and pick up the pace. The park wasn't far from home, when I first moved in with Kashif I would go there very often; to think about life, and to get away from the testosterone.
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When I reach the park I scan the area for Jamal. I am about to call him again when I am suddenly grabbed by the elbow and dragged into the park.

"Get your dirty hands off me!" I demand, "Get off!"