Behind The Church

LXXIV

Eleanor

I felt tears in my eyes when I stopped texting Cubby. She's so grown up and smart and clever... I miss her so fucking much but I just can't see her. I know I should get a therapist and I know that it's already been a few years with no contact at all but healing takes time and effort. It's been hard for me since I haven't had the effort. But now I have Ryleigh, and she pushes me to get better and I strive to be a better person.

"What's the matter, babe?" my fiancé asks as I have tears streaming down my face.

"I miss Cubby." I sniff.

"Husky," she pouts, taking me in her arms. I gladly accept the embrace because I love this woman so much, "I'm sure she misses you too."

"I wouldn't care if she did or didn't. I just want to be able to see my little sister but I can't."

"You need to take the time to heal yourself. I'm sure she understands that. Hell, she's probably had to heal too."

"I hope that she has moved on. I hope she's okay. I mean she told me that she was but it's easy to lie over text."

"You texted her?"

"Yeah, Audrey finally got around to giving her my number."

"It's been more than a year and Audrey's only just given it to her?"

"She's a busy woman." I shrug.

"Yeah, fair enough. Why don't you call her?"

"Call her?" I lift my head.

"Yeah, then you'd be able to see if she's really okay."

"I guess." I say as I open my phone. I hit the call button and she takes a while to answer.

"Hello?" the sound of her voice makes me so happy. She sounds like a woman, which I know is weird but it fills me with so much happiness to hear that.

"Hi, Cubby. I know you're probably busy but I just wanted to hear your voice. You okay?"

"I know what you're doing. You thought I was lying over text, didn't you?"

"I'm just checking. Maybe it would help me to get better, knowing that you're okay."

"Well, I am." she chuckled a little, "It's been a long journey but I'm so much better."

"That makes me really happy, Cubs."

"You still sound the same." I could hear the smile in her voice.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. It's been like... Twelve years maybe? And you still sound the same."

"Holy crap, dude. Has it really been that long?"

"Yup, yup, yup."

"I really want to see you." I tell my sister.

"Same, girl." she sassed.

"I didn't know you could be so sassy!" I giggle.

"Honey, I'm gay. Of course I'm sassy."

"You're gay?" I felt my eyes pop out of my head.

"Yeah. Women are hot." she scoffed.

"I agree. I'm proud of you, Cubby."

"For being gay?"

"No! For feeling comfortable enough within yourself to express that you're gay."

"Oh, well, I've always felt like that. I learnt it from you and Adrianna."

"That makes me really happy."

"I'm proud of you, mind. You and Adrianna basically raised me while Mama took long shifts at the hospital."

"Well, we weren't going to neglect you, we were?"

"You could've. You didn't have to step up the way you did."

"I did. Because you're life would've so much worse if I hadn't. Besides, you were a cute kid, you attracted all of the ladies."

"Oh, I see how it is. You just used me for my cuteness."

"Absolutely." I joke.

"I actually remember you taking me to a girl's house and she was all over me. I was like seven at the time."

"Stefania. Yeah, she loved you. She was my girlfriend at the time."

"Was she yours... Or was she mine?" Cubby chuckled.

"Ha ha. Okay, lady-magnet. We get it."

"I remember the old Welsh lady on the end of our street too. Adrianna and Hunter would always take me to her while they did her garden and she'd tell me all of these stories in Welsh. Mrs Llewellyn. What a lovely lady."

"I remember her. You were like four, right? Just learning to speak in Welsh. You didn't learn English until you were five, right?"

"Yeah. I'm teaching Ruth and Zoey Welsh. They're almost fluent. Nearly there."

"I love those kids, man. They're your kids, alright."

"It's scary how similar they are to me."

"Okay, so riddle me this, lady-magnet. How come you're not already wifed up?"

She sighs, "I didn't wanna tell you because Audrey said that you believed that we didn't talk but I am married and Kate is my wife. I couldn't hold it in any longer. I just love talking about her."

"Holy crap."

"And we were on our honeymoon when you visited and I was in Finland. We've been married since 2021."

"No way. So why didn't Audrey tell me?"

"I have no clue." I could imagine little Cubby shrugging.

"Yeah, she is absolutely brilliant though. She was there for me when I gave birth to the girls and she's their Mom. They had the double barrelled name before we did, actually. Kate's stuck with me through all of these years and I just love her so much. And she's pregnant."

"Whoa. Hold on. A lot to unpack here. So, Kate is Ruth and Zoey's legal mother?"

"Yeah."

"And they call her Mom?"

"Yes."

"And your last name is double barrelled?"

"Rogerstone-Montgumery."

"She's pregnant?"

"Yeah. We're really excited."

"Wow, Cubby. You really have grown up, huh?"

"I've tried to. Sometimes I still feel like a kid. My therapist says it's because I didn't get to be a little kid while I was one so now that behaviour is showing in my adult years."

"It's weird hearing you talk so grown-up."

"Well, I am a grown-up." she laughed softly.

"How dare you! I can't believe you grew up!" I scoff jokingly. That's when I heard the laugh. The same laugh that I heard when I'd attempt to do her hair all those years ago. My little Cubby.