"thanks a lot jay" simon says after we have been kicked out of the hotel
"me what have i done"
"oh i don't know fucked everything up like you always do"
"i had to each him a lesson si he was mugging me off" this is getting pathetic now
"now my life is ruined"
"your life isn't ruined get over yourself both of you, ur acting like bigger wankers then usual"
"shut up liv" they both yell at me and i roll my eyes at them
"is this about the boat party, are you crying because you can't go there so what?"
"so i can get back with the woman i love" jesus christ
"look it's not my fault carli thinks your a prick you want to watch me more closely mate you might actually learn something"
"yeah what would i learn, how to talk shit about having sex, how to fall asleep in an ants nest, how to be scared shitless of my dad" right simon was crossing a line here
"oh come on simon calm down" neil tries to defuse the tension between my brother and jay
both of them ignore neil and continue fighting"maybe you'd learn to not be a massive tool over that cunt"
"don't call carli a cunt" when he says carlis name jay hits him in the balls causing simon to swing at him rather patheticly initiating a very sad and poor looking fight if you can even call it a fight
"we should do something" will looks to me and neil
"yeah do you want to go get a subway" neil suggested
"oooo yeah" i agree suddenly feeling very hungry
"no i mean break this up"
"to be fair it dosent realy look like there hurting each other"
will just rolls his eyes at me and neil goes to grab jay pulling him off simon
will goes to stand infront of simon as they all just scramble on top of each other rather patheticly and i just sigh
"see you later then will" neil says while dragging jay ways from simon and i follow them waving by to will and simon
after we had gotten the boys far away from each other jay spots a punching machine saying he needs to let off some steam but hits the punching bag with no strength at all
"i've never liked him" jay starts complaining again
"you've been mates since primary school" neil is still trying to talk some sence into him
"he's a total twat"
"that's harsh he can be a nob but he's not a twat"
"fuck him" jay says while holding up some paper
"what's that?" i ask him getting up out of my seat to stand with them
"boat party tickets i bought the other night before i passed out"
"jay that's so sweet" i say my heart warming abit at the nice gesture jay was doing
"yeah i was going to surprise him well fuck him" jay says while ripping up the tickets
"well what are we gonna do now then?" i look at him
"now we have the best holiday ever and do what we came here to do"
"get better at swimming!" neil cuts in excitedly
"no" jay shakes his head "pussay patrol" i roll my eyes for what feels like the millionth time that day but still follow along with them
we had gone back to the hotel and the boys forced me to put my pussay patrol t-shirt on to match them and the only reason i agreed is because mine and neil's say 'mr husband and mrs wife' and i like showing off the fact that we're married
we get to a club and it's amazing this is exactly what you want on holiday. jay and neil pushed us right up to the front of the stage so we got first view of everything when the man over the speaker introduced a new dancer coming on stage
"it will probably be some fit girl who will take one look at me and want to ride"jay said cockily
"and we got the best seats you will be able to see right up her snatch from here" neil shouts back to him and i turn around slowly to make sure i processed what he said "i said he will i don't be looking at nothing but your snatch" he said quickly after seeing how i looked at him
"that's what i thought"
"please welcome to the stage fernando" the crowd goes wild and i have to say i do too when i see a very muscular spanish man come out on stage. don't get me wrong i enjoy looking at the girls but this guy is yum
my eyes almost bulge out of my head when i see he rips his pants off leaving him completely naked infront of me
when he drops to his knees and makes direct eye contact with me while thrusting into the air, i take afew steps back till i feel neil behind me
"neil hunny are you seeing this" he quickly puts his hand infront of my eyes stopping me from looking and i'm not making any movement to take his hand away. my eyes are for my husbands penis only "i am but your not seeing no more of it" he says
we walked further back away from the stage not wanting to look at this any more and stand to the corner drinking our beer
jay grabs neil's attention by elbowing him in the stomach "here look that's the james bloke that carli was sucking off" he points in the direction of carlis rep "see now that looks like good fun why don't we see if the pussy patrol needs some new members"
"guys i realy don't see this going well" they had already walked off before listening to me. i decide to stay back not being able to deal with any more of the second hand embarrassment these boys radiate
when i head neil's cute laugh i start walking over thinking things are going well. i am mistaken
"fuck off you lanky prick" james said while pointing at neil
"the fuck did you just say" i step closer to him. who the fuck does he think he is messing with my husband
"well hello gorgeous" he smirks at me and puts his hands on my waist
"if you think i won't smash this bottle over your head right now your wrong so get your hands off me and don't ever speak to my husband no like that"
"your husband" he laughs and looks behind me at neil "come on sweetheart look at you, you could do so much better then-"
before he can even finish his sentence i slam my beer bottle into the side of his head and he falls to the floor "i said don't ever speak to my husband like that" i grab both jay and neil and pull them out of the club done with this shit
once we're outside neil grabs my hips turning me around to face him "what was that?"
"what was what"
"you are so fucking fit" he grabs my face and smashes his lips to mine catching me completely off guard but i very quickly melt into it
after a while he pulls away and looks deep into my eyes "i'm so in love with you"
"i'm gonna be sick" count on jay to ruin the moment
"come on let's go to that bar down the street" i suggest
jay just grunts in response and neil grabs my hand to start walking
YOU ARE READING
wanker(the inbetweeners)
Humorneil sutherland x oc simon coppers sister olivia cooper has been friends with jay and neil for as long as she can remember and when will comes to the school and the group start ending up in a bunch of situations she will realise that she has deeper...
