as we walk into the common rooms we see will tied to a chair with a bin on his head
"what happened to you?" i ask him sitting in the chair next to him
"i tripped" he replied
"really?"neils eyes widen as he sits down next to me putting a arm around my shoulder
"no not really neil donavens ties me to a chair and said no one's allowed to touch me the prick"
"just so you know he's about ten feet behind you"simon warned will
"shit did he hear that?" we turn to look at donaven and he nods his head at us
"yep he's here's that one"simon replied
"come on we'll get you out" neil then gets up and takes the bin of wills head but donaven shakes his head at him making neil apologise to will as he put the bin back on his head and sit back down next to me putting his arm around me
"what are we doing this weekend?" i ask the boys
simon suggests going to a shopping centre but will starts complaining about the chavs being there
"count me out i'll be up to my nuts in guts" jay says making me roll my eyes at him"shagging those two sisters from caravan club"
"except you won't tho because it's a holiday for old people" will disagrees with him
"i'm sorry did someone say something? was bin boy giving it the big un?"
"it's just funny how you never get any girls round here but yet away at caravan club you're like some gypsy russle brand" even though i can't see wills stupid face i can tell he's smirking thinking he's in the right as always which he probably was
"ye well i would shag any of the skanky girls round here" making me look at jay a bit offended "apart from olivia obviously"jay adds winking at me
"get in the queue" neil says winking at me again making me smirk at him while simon rolls his eyes
"if you don't believe me you lot should come down with me, even bin boy might get some sex" he says pointing at will
"ye i'm definitely up for that" my brother nods
"me too" i agree
"yeah love too" neil nodded
"oh well you don't have to"jay sounds unsure
"no if i have to sleep in a caravan to prove you're lying then i'm willing to make that sacrifice"
"fine good come down then we'll see who's lying"
"yeah you"
as the bell rings we get up to go to the next lesson we ask donaven if we can untie him yet which he says no to. then gilbert walks in asking what happened as will goes to snitch on donaven gilbert stops him and we walk out to go to lunch
at the end of the day we get in my brothers car to to the caravan club for the weekend me and will sat in the back as simon and neil are in the front
"how fast can this thing go then?" neil wonders
"it's a special edition so i reckon it could probably top a ton" i lean forward to tell neil
"bollocks" neil turned to look at me
"easily could it's a pretty good car"simon defends his car
simon then speeds up his car and hits 100 while will complains about him dying.
jay then texts simon but will can't understand what it says neil then grabs the phone out of wills hand and reads it out to us "he says he wants us to pick him up at the garage just outside camber sands and he will show us how to get to the caravan park"
"thank you dr Doolittle" will jokes but neil dosent understand it, then simon gets another text "oh and he's also buying a jumbo pack of ribbed jhonnies does anyone else need some?" we all look at him but not say anything
we finally get to the service station and we see jay come up to us "christ i forgot about this shit heap, i don't think even i can help you get laid in that"
we watch as simon struggles to put petrol in the car "this is embarrassing i'm gonna go check out the clunge mags" jay says walking off and neil follows him"oi wait for me"
"i'm gonna go as well" i say as walking off into the shop i grab some crisps and a monster and head over to neil and jay to see them looking at a porno mag
they laugh and point out that one of the models looks like wills mum
"i just got a text from one of the girls at caravan club" simon walks in waving his phone at us
"oh yeah is it becky, i texted her your photo what's she say?"
"hi simon my names becky i likes your photo jay says you've got a cool car as well see you later smiley face" simon tells us smiling
"she's seen a picture of you let's get back one of her"will suggests
"with her tits out" neil adds on making me smack his arm
"might be abit early for that neil"will says to him
"she is filthy" jay nods to us
"still" i said not wanting to see this girls tits
as the boys all decide what simon should say back to her neil goes to put his hand on my waist but before he can i walk to the till to pay for my crisps and monster and then walk back to the car waiting for the boys to come back
we finally get to the caravan park and simon parks up.
"welcome to my world" jay holds his arms up show he's impressed
"where are all these women then?" wills asks
"bit despite are you will?" i laugh at him
jay points at a child saying that there's a fit girl there as we look at him in disgust and disappoint two girls walk up to us
"hi jay" they both wave at him
"hey this is simon who i told you about"jay pats simon on the shoulders as he awkwardly says hello
"are you guys coming to the party later"she asks us all
"yeah definitely"simon agrees
after she leaves jay tells us that she has fucked everyone including him and that when we are done here we will be begging our parents to buy a caravan
"not sure neil's dad could afford a caravan"simon jokes "but if he thought of it as a mobile closet i'm sure he'd find the money" will add on
"my dads not bent" that sounds like it's becoming neil's catchphrase
"well we only have your word for that neil"will continues
i rub his arm trying to comfort him and he pulls me into him.jays mum then calls to us saying dinners ready
"there you go guys" jays mum says as she hands out some food to us
"thank you mrs catwright" i say with a polite smile
i'm not able to eat very much due to the smell jays dad has created from the bathroom "alright boys, girl you coming to the dance tonight then?" he nods at us
"yes mr cartwright" wills says through a strained voice
mr cartwright then exposes jay for not being able to get girls here which he just awkwardly laughed at.
"we should be getting ready to go dad"jay says embarrassed
we all get up and leave the caravan going to get ready for the party
YOU ARE READING
wanker(the inbetweeners)
Humorneil sutherland x oc simon coppers sister olivia cooper has been friends with jay and neil for as long as she can remember and when will comes to the school and the group start ending up in a bunch of situations she will realise that she has deeper...
