we were at jays house this morning in his caravan while he showed us how he fucked these girls from caravan club
"and you were doing this while your parents were sleeping in bunk beds just over there?" will questioned him
"it's amazing how good you were with birds jay" it honastly baffles me how neil believes all the shit that comes out of jays mouth
"so these girls are from the playboy mansion and they were holidaying in great yarmouth?" i ask agreeing with will not believing him
"i told you and si that you should have come with me"
"i don't want made up play boy models i just want a nice girlfriend who'll maybe have sex with me"
"it is brilliant to be fair" neil says wrapping his arm around my shoulder
"what you lot up to is jay showing you where he used to shag the cushions? he thinks me and his mum don't know but we change the sheets about 10 times" jays dad walks into the caravan
"jay was just telling us about the birds he pulled in norfolk" neil sounds proud of his friend
"oh right was he well he's a total bullshitter then" jays dad exposed him while laughing and walking out of the caravan
we then set off to school and we all question things jay has said
"well what else have i said that's bullshit" he asks us and we start rattling things off
"your mate can fit in a microwave?"
"your dad fought muhammad ali and won?"
"that i would go anywhere near your dick?" as i finish saying this we walk past donaven and see him smoking i just keep my head down and neil puts his hand on my lower back
"holy shit was donaven smoking drugs? in the open? on a school day?" will starts freaking out
"don't shit yourself it's just a bit off puff"
"yeah everyone does abit of puff" jay agrees with me
"do they? i don't, you don't and nor does anyone we know" will argues
"what you talking about i do it all the time" jay then makes up how he gets high with his other mate "all you need to know is i can get you as much as you like whenever you like"
"i don't want any ever" will says
"i suppose when you think about it anything's drugs" neil then starts listing off all random things he thinks could be drugs and simon runs after carli
when we finaly get into school we see simon talking to some girl he then walks past us running to his locker and we all follow him as he tells us what the conversation was about
"why the fuck would you say you'd bring drugs? you don't do drugs?" will starts freaking out again on simon making me roll my eyes
"oh just calm down will it's just abit of puff everyone does it. jay you can sort me out right?" my brother asks
"slight problem on that front my mates fucked off to afghanistan trying to get some pure shit"
"of course he has" i sigh
"you could ask donaven jay" neil suggests
"alright i'll ask donaven then tomorrow night when thanks to me we're watching simon get balls deep in tara we'll see who the liar is"jay says and we start to walk off to class and my brother says it would be weird if they are there
the boys have all come round to mine and simons house as we watched jay terribly try to roll a joint
"i still can't believe your going through with this"i swere will never stops complaining
"alright cliff richard if you don't like it you can fuck off"
"no i'll stay and laugh at you" will has a smug look on his face
"jay i've heard smoking well bad for your chest cant we just make some tea with it" neil asks he had told me earlier that jay didn't get drugs he actually got tea
"no you can't make tea with this kind remember neil? it's stronger if you eat it. we could break it into some chocolate brownies" jay lies
"oo i know how to make brownies" i say
"we haven't got time to fucking bake cakes dad fine be here to pick us up in a minute. i just want to try it before i meet tara" my brother complained "fuck it i'm brewing some tea"
the boys had then realised that jay hadn't got drugs but just plain tea and my brother was fuming
"i told you si there was supply issues" we all started walking to dads car
"the main issues being donaven supplied you with tea"
we were now half way to the club and no one had said anything yet and my dad decided to speak up
"you lot seem very quiet tonight"
"yeah well it's better then hearing non-stop bullshit" my brother says clearly aimed at jay
"what on your head simon?"
"oh i don't know dad, oh yeah it's a hat obviously"
"he's so moody today" i whisper in neil's ear and he just laughs at my words
"why are you waring it?" dad asks
"he's meeting a bird" neil leans forward to tell him
"knew it you got that look in your eye sort of an animal look i've seen it when your watching Tv like the X factor and that" i childishly covered my ears not wanting to hear about simon getting boners for people and we finaly get to the gig
"can you guys see tara anywhere?" simon asks
"just follow the puddles mate shes that wet for you" jay winked at him
"can you hear something i can smell bullshit but i can't here anything"
"i realy don't think you should do drugs to impress a girl simon"i am so close to punching will in the face he just never shuts up
"do you have a girlfriend"
"no"
"then excuse me if i don't give a shit what you say"
"right if your gonna be pussies about it i'll go sort some here there will be tons of drug dealers somewhere" jay says and him and neil walk off to go find somewhere to buy drugs
"i can't bare standing with you two im getting a drink" i say walking over to the bar and asking for mine and neil's drinks
YOU ARE READING
wanker(the inbetweeners)
Humorneil sutherland x oc simon coppers sister olivia cooper has been friends with jay and neil for as long as she can remember and when will comes to the school and the group start ending up in a bunch of situations she will realise that she has deeper...
