Weiss: we need to get the fuck outta here
Eclipse: what are you talking about? he's probably the worst one here everyone else should be cool
Russel: forgive me father for I have sinned. please make these urges go away. my cousin is not hot. my cousin is NOT hot
Eclipse: okay. we need to get the fuck outta here
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Sky: sorry didn't mean to insult your future customers
Russel: do you actually wanna fucking fight right now!?
Sky: bitch I have my weapon on me don't even try me
Russel: yeah right what're you gonna do with that?
Sky: stab you and watch the skeet pour out
Russel: not if I choke you first!
Sky: I'll spit in your face!
Russel: I'll spit in your mouth!
Sky: I'll like it!!
Weiss: what is happening?
Russel: do you promise to spit in mine back?
Sky: I'll bite your lip and make you fucking bleed
Russel: promise to kiss me after-- no no! help me Jesus help me! it's not love it's just lust. it's not love it's just lust!!
Eclipse: what the fuck
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Weiss: gods imagine being those girls
Eclipse: we could be kinda fun. wanna be sexed up abusive lesbians?
Weiss: fuck no
Eclipse: why not?
Weiss: cuz you'd be doing all the abusing
Eclipse: oh like what
Weiss: just like weird shit. you'd put one of your cigarettes out on my neck and lick the burn mark
Eclipse: ...so you wanna try it?
Weiss: NO
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Cardin: uh one fiss-huh, twoah fiss-huh
Weiss: are you serious?
Cardin: you picked a hard one on purpose!
Eclipse: it's a dr seuss book you fucking dipshit!
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Eclipse: do you even know how I got involved with this bitch??
Oobleck: language!
Eclipse: do you even know how I got involved with this ho?
Oobleck: slightly better 👍
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Blake: oh
Eclipse: is something wrong??
Blake: no I'm just surprised you like MSI because you're so.. normal
Eclipse: bitch I can cut myself just as much as you do I just have better shit to do ok!
Blake: that's not- okay what do you want
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Yang: I guess it's whatever. my dad was really pissed tho
Neptune: yeah? what about your mom?
Yang: my mom can go kill hersel--
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Blake: he may or may not have pictures of you in Neo nazi shirts cuz I may or may not have been there
Goodwitch: actually I may or may not have been covered in baby oil
Weiss, sighing: well I guess racism wins
Eclipse: ...can we see the pictures?
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Goodwitch: Cardin has given me reason to believe you are the one who destroyed the school photo lab last night
Blake: uh no. I was in my dorm all night mulling over ways to kms
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Eclipse: I swear to every god if you pair us with team CRDL I will bully all of those losers into killing themselves!
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Yang: what if I put on the table something I don't have?
rando: what's that?
Yang: a gag reflex
rando: oh hell yeah why didn't you say so
Weiss: god dammit
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Goodwitch: do you think im fucking stupid?
Ozpin: no. but I guess I am...
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Jaune: so uh are you waiting for somebody?
Yang: yeah and she wouldn't wanna fuck you either
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Weiss: sorry I got held up in math
Yang: Weiss would you fuck Jaune?
Weiss: ew no!
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Weiss: why are you hitler?
Eclipse: is that like a band or are you calling me hitler?
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Weiss: you're a good friend
Eclipse: I thought I was hitler?
Weiss: you're a really pretty noirette hitler with a caffeine addiction
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Coco: if I ever see someone talk like that to you again I will rip their bleeding heart out and hand it to you on a silver platter
Eclipse: and you don't wanna have sex with me? 🤨
Coco: no
Eclipse: are you sure-
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Blake: who even is Jesus these days?
Yang: someone assholes find to say they're not assholes anymore
Blake: do you think Cardin will ever find Jesus?
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Eclipse: last thing before I jump!
Weiss: hey I gotta be honest I don't really give a shit if you stick some awesome landing!
Eclipse: what? really??
Weiss: yeah really. cuz like--
Eclipse: because you love me for me! you don't need some wild display of courage to be my girlfriend!
Weiss: no actually I'm just not gonna be your girlfriend either way. you had zero chance from the start if it makes you feel any better!
Eclipse: what!? NO!
Goodwitch: why did you say that? Eclipse it's okay! just take some deep breaths.. BACK OFF FROM THE LEDGE
Eclipse: all I deserve is a deep plunge. you did this Weiss!
__________
if you couldn't tell Goodwitch and Oobleck are my favorite teachers
and if you couldnt tell by literally every chapter Eclipse and Weiss are my favorite pair
YOU ARE READING
The Grimm Huntress
FanfictionWhile Ozpin fought against Salem, immortal and using other people as his tools, the brother gods watched disgusted. One of them decided to give his powers to a child. A child he was sure would be different than Ozpin even after learning the truth. A...
