Dandelions in the Wind

32

Tumunog ang cellphone ni Dionne habang naghihintay sa waiting area ng clinic ni Dr. Cruz, ang kaniyang psychologist. Nakatanggap siya ng mensahe galing kay Tracy at binasa niya ito. I've already arranged your hotel reservation as you requested. Miranda also approved your two-week day off. It's the Grand Bay Hotel, as per your preference. I've arranged a two-week stay starting from the day of your arrival. Ibinalik ni Dionne ang cellphone sa bag at napasandal sa kinauupuan.

"Miss Lucas? Dr. Cruz will see you now," pormal na pahayag ng babae na nakasuot na salamin habang nakaupo malapit sa pinto. Tumayo ito at nagpunta sa break room para maghanda ng tsaa.

Agad tumayo si Dionne at pumasok sa opisina ni Dr. Cruz.

"Good afternoon, Dionne. Please have a seat." Nakangiting bungad ni Dr. Cruz at iginiya ang bakanteng upuan na nasa harapan. "Thank you, Dr. Cruz." Kabadong umupo si Dionne. "I'm sorry for bothering you, we already talked on the phone, naguguluhan pa rin ang isip ko," napabuntong hiningang turan ni Dionne, hindi maalis ang pagkabahala sa mukha nito. "Dr. Cruz, it's like I'm carrying the weight of my past on my shoulders, suffocating under the burden of memories that won't let me go." Napahaplos sa buhok si Dionne habang nagsasalita.

Napatikhim na lang si Dr. Cruz, napapansin din niya ang pagkabalisa ni Dionne, "sounds like your childhood left deep scars, Dionne. Can you tell me more about how it's affecting you now?"

"My mom was never there for me, always chasing after her own happiness, leaving me to fend for myself. And my dad... he loved me, but he couldn't protect me from the pain when my mom left him. He died of a broken heart, and I was left alone, feeling abandoned and betrayed," panimulang kuwento ni Dionne.

"It's understandable that those experiences would leave a lasting impact on you, Dionne. How do you think they're affecting your current relationship?" malumanay na tanong ni Dr. Cruz.

Napabuntonghinga si Dionne. "Do you remember when I told you that how can a person love someone if everything around her will be destroyed? Why loving a person has a greater consequence of ruining something that it wasn't broken? It's the reason why I hated my mother and her lover." Naging malamlam ang mga mata ni Dionne, binahid ng matinding lungkot ang mata nito. "In a sense, I get to understand my mom but the downside of it, I will soon become the person that I hate." Napatingin siya kay Dr. Cruz. "Do you get my point? Loving someone has a greater consequence, may sisirain akong relasyon ng magkapatid."

Napatango na lang si Dr. Cruz, nakitaan ng simpatya ang mukha nito. "It sounds like you're grappling with a lot of guilt and fear."

Napahawak na lang si Dionne sa kaniyang sing-sing na nasa hintuturo at pinaikot niya ito. "My dad was the one who showed me love, but even his love couldn't shield me from the pain when my mom left him for another man. Watching him suffer broke something inside me. I was just a kid, trying to make sense of it all, but the scars from those days run deep. They affect how I see love and relationships now. I'm terrified of repeating the same mistakes, of causing the same pain to those I care about," malungkot na paglalahad ni Dionne, napasandal na lang siya sa kinauupuan at napabuntonghininga. "I know I need to deal with my past, to confront the trauma and move forward, but it feels like an impossible task. I'm lost in my own fears and insecurities, unsure if I'll ever find my way out." Napakumpas siya ng kamay habang nagsasalita.

"It seems like you're trying to protect yourself and those you care about from experiencing the pain you went through. But Dionne, you're not your mother. You have the power to break free from the patterns of your past," pagbibigay payo ni Dr. Cruz.

Tila hindi pa rin kumbinsido si Dionne sa narinig, tumayo na lang ito at naglakad lakad sa loob ng opisina. "I know, but it's like I'm trapped in this cycle of fear and uncertainty. I love Charlotte so much, but I can't shake the feeling that loving her comes with consequences." Saglit napalingon si Dionne sa kinauupuan ni Dr. Cruz. "I can't live with myself if I hurt Marcus or Charlotte like my mom hurt my dad."