Oikawa x f!reader

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Content warning: ANGST!!! Like lots of it. This one is not happy

Y/N had only ever known painful, ugly break ups. The kind that are one sided and utterly devastating. She had only ever known unhealthy relationships. She had only ever known toxic love. But Oikawa was different. He treated her very well for the most part. Their relationship wasn't perfect. There were some toxic aspects, but it was overall healthy.

That made this completely uncharted territory. It was a new kind of devastating. Y/N was letting go of someone she still loved, and someone that still loved her. Some relationships just aren't the right fit, or it's the wrong time. Y/N and Oikawa could be either, neither of them are really sure which one it is. Perhaps a bit of both.

Y/N has been unhappy for a while because Oikawa wanted her to be someone she isn't at this time. But last night Y/N and Oikawa talked about their issues for the last time. To make things harder, they were living together. They were until last night. Y/N and Oikawa broke up. Y/N technically broke up with Oikawa, but it was a mutual decision and it was never actually said. They both just understood.

Y/N cried the entire time. Oikawa didn't, at least not in front of Y/N. He held her as she sobbed. After they reached an unspoken decision, Oikawa cuddled with Y/N on their shared bed until she calmed down. He whispered reassurances to her through it all. He kissed her and hugged her. And they both continued to remind each other that they still love each other.

Y/N had never experienced a break up like that. One where her ex held her and reminded her how much he loved her. She found herself telling him that she hopes they find each other again someday. He agreed and said it just wasn't the right time right now. They are in different parts of their lives. It is a terrible feeling to let go when you still love each other.

Y/N watched and cried as Oikawa packed his things. Oikawa took occasional breaks to hold Y/N and whisper kind words of reassurance. It was loving. Neither one of them wanted this but they knew that it had to happen. It would be better for both of them overall. Their relationship was slowly falling apart. It hurt so damn bad.

Oikawa kissed her so many times after they reached their unspoken decision. They couldn't help but whisper how much they would miss each other. It would have been obvious to anyone that they still loved each other so deeply. Y/N was shattered. She didn't want this. She didn't want this at all. But it needed to happen.

Y/N helped Oikawa carry his things out. She watched as he put them in the car. She took comfort in knowing that he decided to take the stuffed animal that she had made for him. It was packed safely in his suitcase. She watched with silent tears as he closed the truck. She didn't want things to be other. She was terrified that this would be the last time she would ever see him.

Oikawa hugged her tightly as they stood next to the car. He whispered sweet nothings in her ear for the last time. Oikawa held Y/N tightly against himself. Y/N buried her face in his chest, clinging to his sweatshirt. Y/N knew it was wrong. She had been holding back the words for a while. But she couldn't hold them back anymore. Y/N admitted to Oikawa that she didn't want him to leave in a soft, shaky voice. Oikawa dug his face into her hair and admitted that he didn't want to leave.

Oikawa gave Y/N one final, lingering kiss. It both warmed and broke Y/N's heart at the same time. When they broke apart, Oikawa stepped away. Y/N held back loud sobs as Oikawa got in the car. She watched with silent tears as the car started. Her loud sobs finally escaped as the car drove away, taking the man she loved with it. He wasn't coming back.

Y/N was left alone with the memories of that night. Memories of how Oikawa apologized for asking her to change. Memories of Oikawa telling her that he loved Y/N for who she is with all her quirks. Y/N was left completely alone.

Y/N had thought she would feel relieved after the breakup, but that wasn't the case. Y/N was filled with despair and grief. Oikawa had given her the one thing she needed for their relationship to work, an apology. She got this, but he was gone. Oikawa wasn't hers anymore.

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