We don't want to label it

XXXVIII

Does he really have no decorum at all? Apparently not, because the second she opens the door and locks him in her arms, then lets go and holds him at arm's length, a stupid tear is pressing just behind his eyes. Not a sad one, no. It's a tear of confusion, of anger.
"So." she says soberly. "You in trouble?"
See? No decorum because he doesn't even pretend to say oh, I'm okay but there's this one thing, no, his head is already shaking.
Okay, so maybe the tear is a little sad as well. He blinks and just about keeps it on the right side of himself.
"I made coffee." she soothes. "Come talk about it."

He follows her into her living room. It's small and sparsely decorated in subtle tones of powdery blue, with several things that scream a kid lives here. By the window there's the little wooden desk that he bought Edlyn for her birthday this year, and her toy chest next to it is clearly only just closing. He smiles as he thinks of that little girl, who arrived so unexpectedly three years ago and who is so dear to him. 
"Edlyn okay?" he says.
"Yeah, absolutely. But that's not why you're here so come on, spill."
He would laugh at her bossy tone but he's too busy containing the tear and now that he's been given free range to speak it's like all the words are jostling in front of the door way, trying to decide among themselves who gets through first, none of them succeeding in the throng. He takes a deep breath and plops down on the small, charcoal grey couch against the one free wall. 
"Jeez, Eddy. That bad? Is this about Twoset? Your mum? Brett? Tory?"
He laughs once, a sound so dark he almost scares himself. 
"All of the above, really." he whispers then. "But most of all Brett."
"What did he do?"
"Oh, nothing I didn't want him to..." He stops in a shock. Because that's true. Nothing he didn't want him to. And now look where it's got him. And he would clam up right now, talk about the weather or ballet or Edlyn or orchestra or any other safe topic. He would go home and work through it on his own but that's not why he came. He needs some perspective. Lily always has perspective. 
"Um." he hesitates. "I don't know if you have any idea about... um. So we've been doing... um. Stuff. For ages. Um. You know?"
She sits down next to him and giggles. 
"How eloquently put. You mean sexy stuff? Yeah, don't think I've never noticed that."
His head whips around and for a moment all he can do is stare stupidly. 
"Wait... you knew that?"
"Eddy... we've been on holiday together as a group. Of course I know that. I don't know what your deal is, though. I mean, you're not 'together', right? So I've just... you know, I figured you'd tell me if you wanted me to know, it was none of my business."
It takes him a full ten seconds to process all of that. He hears the second hand on the clock with colourful animals ticking them away over on the side wall there but... 
"It's just... yeah. You're right, we're not 'together', not that way." he says quietly as the words start lining up and making their way through the doorway at last. "We just... grew up together, I guess. So yeah we... I guess we tried stuff out together. And we kind of never stopped. Always with careful distance."
"Hence the 'we don't want to label it?'"
Her voice is still quiet, still melodious, but he's rarely seen her more serious.
"You saw that, huh?"
"Of course. I watch all your videos. So... what happened? And how does Tory factor into all this?"
The tear wells softly and he swipes quickly before it can roll. 
"That's a whole nother story." he says sadly. "I don't... it's a long story and I don't even know where I stand right now."
"Okay. So it's about Brett? Tell me about Brett."
He sits still for three, four, five shuddering breaths and suddenly he's not sure if he wants to say this at all. 
You can't go back to ignoring something once you've said it, you see? More seconds tick by on the wall, balancing him on a firm before and after. But he knows why he's come here. He knows what he's come to say.
"We did... a thing. The other night. A thing... more. Too much like..."
"Sex?" she says sweetly. 
His heart skips a beat.
"Um. Maybe."