From Dreams to Nightmares

Chapter 11

Octavia's perspective

I was studying every object in Lily's room in detail looking at every toy, every thing she owned. It makes me think of my childhood, it wasn't as good as hers, I mean she has everything a child could want, from stuffed animals to dolls, books, a huge TV. On the little table next to the bed too enormous for a 5-year-old child I see a picture. I pick it up and my eyes are glued to the perfect image of the two sisters who didn't look alike at all but were still as similar as two raindrops.

Spending time around the little girl I learn more and more about her sister. I was also beginning to know her true personality, not just the facade, the critical and cold one that builds like a barricade between her and the people who really care about her. The sisters are so similar in behavior that I can't tell them apart. Equally capricious with a bohemian nature in which they find their balance.

I can't stop looking at Kalilah's heavenly smile. The same brand new smile that keeps me up at night with maddened need. The thought of her every feature will drive me wild, like a lion trying to assert its territory. Is she my territory? Will she be my territory? I can't even think when I feel her presence. When she's close she makes me feel like I can give her the whole world and lay it at her feet as a prey just to catch a glimpse.

I look up from the photo and quickly put it in its place when the door to the room slowly opens and a small head emerges from behind the door. With small steps and smelly eyes, the little girl comes to me and jumps into my arms, holding on to my blouse. I raise her head so she can look at me, and I ask myself surprised because she was only absent for 10 minutes, what could have happened in just 10 minutes? She gets off my lap and wraps her hand around my little finger.

"I think Kaly is sick, she just sits in bed and every time I go to her she tells me to leave. She hasn't eaten anything today, can you help her? You're big like her, you know what she's up to." I show her a smile and let myself be lead by her to her sister's room.

I knocked at the door and the sound of Kaly's angry voice filled my ears. I give to Lily a short glance before she left me alone standing on the other side of the door that leads me to the bane of my existence and the core of my torment. I slightly open the door taking a deep breath before I let myself enter the room.

"Lily I told you, go play or something, leave me alone..." I watched Kaly's back, and her ginger locks of hair spreading across the pillows. This exquisite imagine of her made me forget that was the first time I ever entered her room. "I think I am too old to play Kalilah, unless you want me to..." I said it and even I couldn't recognise my own voice because of how low it sounded. She turned fast to face me, she looked at me with a strange face "What are you doing here?" She asked and I took a step closer to her bed.

"I work here, and your sister is worried..." I said and she fixed her shirt showing some discomfort under my stare. "Go mind your own business!" She said and pressed her hand on her stomach. I remember the yesterday's events and I remembered what is the cause of her pain and the worries vanished. "Did you take any pill for the cramps?" I asked in a sweeter tone to make har feel more comfortable within my presence. "Yes, but it didn't help, but now I want something sweet and I don't think a have anything in the house..." I turned my head and seen the pants that I gave to her yesterday and started searching through the pockets. "What are you doing?"

"Did you search through the pockets yesterday?" I asked shoving my hand into the left pocket. "No, why?" She furrow her brow at me. "I put yesterday a chocolate bar in your pocket right before I left. I thought you knew because you looked at me right after"

I victoriously took out the chocolate bar and tried to give it to her and her expression was one of a million. She raised a brow and I looked at my hand. That moment the world could rip apart itself and drag me down into the depths of hell caused in my hand was the chocolate bar and a condom.
" I am so sorry, I must've forgot it in my pocket..." I said embarrassed and she laughed. " Why do you have a condom?" She asked me and for that moment I thought it was the stupidest question ever. "For protection?" I asked and she rolled her eyes. "I know that, but shouldn't the boy keep them?" She said and my brain just stopped working.

"The boy, you know I'm gay right?" I let it out before I figured it out what she  really wanted to say. "So if you are gay, what do you use the condom for?" She asked and I took a deep breath before sitting on the bed next to her. Her parfume invaded my nose and it smelled fabulous. Her sweet scent was intoxicating...

"Do you remember our talk yesterday?" I said and she nodded " I am different, for many people it is an atrocity so this might change definitely the way you're seeing me." "I already know Octavia..." she said and it and my hart stopped, ready to jump out my chest. " Did Zoe told you?" I asked a little mad. I trusted her, I told her and she just spilled the tea with her friend?

"No, no, I just figured it out, it's kinda obvious, you can see it very clearly..." she said and I felt my cheeks go red as I covered my lap with my hands.  "So aren't you disgusted by me?" I asked and looked into her big eyes. For the first time I felt small, she made me feel small because her opinion really mattered to me. It always will. I don't know why but it does " I don't know what hells you went through and how people treated you but I can tell you that I am not such a horrible person to judge you for something you didn't choose. And why would I judge you, when now I understand what people see in you and why all the girls like you."

A wide smile covered my face and even the room shined brighter. Her eyes sparkled into the sunlight outlining her strong bone structure. I can look at her a human life and still not get enough of her beauty. She looks like the most beautiful princess off all land and above the seas. It's incredible what a beautiful person can make out of you.

I handed her the chocolate bar alone this time and she took it. Her fingers caressed my hand and jolts of electricity run through me leaving goosebumps all around my skin. Like the moment the cold wind hits your skin in winter.

"How are things with Zoe? Are you going to officialise your relationship soon?" She asked me with a colder voice. It was amusing the way her eyes looked anywhere but me. Is she really jealous now? Why is she giving me all this mixed signals. "Zoe and I will never be a thing." I said out of the blue, I don't know why I need to reassure her this. But her annoyed expression shocked me actually. What did she wanted me to say? .

"So you fucked my friend and not even try something with her?" Her tone wow harsh but I could see she wanted more details, she was curious. I couldn't lie to her anymore... " Kalilah, I never even touched Zoe, that was a lie so she can get a reaction out of you."

Her face looked puzzled by my words. Why is she playing this games now? " A reaction out of me?" She asked me again, to make sure she heard right "She just helped me, I was the one who wanted to get a reaction, I wanted to make you jealous." She started laughing and that reaction actually made me think I just embarrassed myself for her. "Me jealous? You forgot I have a boyfriend." Is this another game of hers? If she cand play I also can. So I started braking the gap between us, coming closer to her. She frozen but didn't move at all. I smirked when her eye moved from mine to my lips " And where is he now?" I asked my face inches apart from her. Her skin was so read and her lips looked so appealing that I thought for that moment only what if... what if I'll kiss her now?

And as the gods liked to torture me she moved away from me and fixed her posture before screaming at me using her hard tone once again. "Get out of my room, don't ever talk to me again."

  Why this girl is my torment? Why her words push me away but her actions pull me closer? If she ever thinks that I will ever stop trying she is so wrong...