Chapter 20 - Pillows

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//TRIGGER WARNING (self harm/suicide)//

**Ed's POV**
I woke up to an empty space behind me. I managed to get a couple of hours sleep last night, Kayla fell asleep first snuggled in to my chest. "Kayla?" I said. I heard rustling in the bathroom. I climbed out of bed and walked softly towards the bathroom door. "Kayla. Are you okay love?" I heard her mutter something under her breath beyond the locked door. "Kayla open the door now" I knew exactly what she was doing and it wasn't happening anymore. I fumbled with the lock from my side of the door and managed to twist it, nearly breaking my fingers in the process. She was curled up in a ball in the empty bath tub, her left arm stretched out in front of her. A razor in her right hand. She was sobbing, she went to make another cut as I snatched it from her hand she looked up at me and screamed at me to give it back. She kept screaming and screaming and screaming until it turned in to sobs of desperation. Then it turned to shallow breathing with the occasional hiccup. I lifted her out of the bath and carried her downstairs to the kitchen. I sat her on the counter and pulled out the first aid kit. "My poor princess" I tried not to cry, I had to be strong for her right now. "Kayla I'm going to get you some help okay" I said as I sprayed the disinfectant on her arm. I bandaged her up as she just sat there. Then she rolled her other sleeve up too, "if your doing that one you might as well do them both". Hundreds of cuts and scars covered her arms. How could someone so beautiful and intelligent and wonderful harm themselves like this? She deserved so much more than this. I picked her up again and lay her down on the sofa. I grabbed loads of blankets and pillows to make a little fort around us, it made her feel safe. We were going to watch Shrek but her DVD had broke, so I put on The Little Mermaid instead. It was her favourite Disney film. She curled up on my lap and snuggled in as we watched the film, surrounded by our little pillow fort. It was like a cocoon for her, a cocoon of safety. I was her cocoon of safety, I just wished I could've been her whole life.

Let me know if you got the reference :)
The little mermaid is my favourite Disney movie! What's yours?
Also if anyone ever needs help or someone to talk to my messages are always open.
You're never alone, I promise you that. Stay strong <3
-kim

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